Of Princes and Paupers
by PRETTYPRINCESSchan
Summary: TamakiSuohxOC. It's said that history will repeat itself, and so will the the shatter of a 8,000,000 yen vase. Only, the Ouran Hosts had no clue that another poor commoner kitten would venture into the third music room so soon.
1. Chapter 1: Stray Kitten

**I honestly can never stand the Mary Sue quality of this OC or the generic plot-line, but since it has been an overall well received success on Quizilla, I'll post it here.**

**Besides, I couldn't exactly completely trash my first fanfiction baby - especially not when it contains the PRINCE TYPE ~.**

* * *

"Rain beat down relentlessly upon our dorky heroine as she bravely trudged forward, determined to reach her destination-"

"Although she looked rather foolish in her puffy yellow dress-"

"And her glasses persisted in sliding down the bridge of her nose-"

"WOULD YOU TWO _SHUT_ UP? What do you think you're doing, anyway?

Narrating is Author-chan's job! And another thing, where do you get off, ridiculing your elder sister in such a way?"

"She was fuming as she glared down at her adorably innocent little sisters. . ."

"Oh no! Were we mistaken? Is our supposed heroine really the antagonist of this twisted tale?"

"Grrr!"

"Ah! Run!"

"We must find sanctuary from that _scary _**four-eyed **_**monster**_!"

"Get back here, baka imoutos!"

"See you after school, Onee-san!"

x-theme song t-

Wait!

Ohayo Gozaimasu, mina-san! My name's Minamoto Mamimi, but you may call me Mimi-chan if you'd like. I'm going to be narrating my own story from now on due to the complete and utter incompetence of the previous narrator, so just think of it as if this were originally 1st person, and please bare with me!

x-theme song time **or dieeeeee! :P**

**.:Sakura Kiss WOULD PLAY HERE~:.**

**

* * *

**

The rain began to lighten, once heavy down poor now gentle sprinkling.

Honestly, it would have been better if it had done so beforehand, because now I had reached my destination. But I suppose beggars can't be choosers, ne?

Ah, but I suppose you're wondering exactly what my destination is so I'll be nice and enlighten you ~

Ouran Private Academy, in all it's pristine _pink_ glory.

It sort of looks like a fairytale castle, in my opinion . . .

Well no matter how deceiving the looks, it's actually just a fancy-pancy school.

By the rich, for the rich. . .

With the exception of those who are intelligent enough to acquire a scholarship.

Examples? My little sisters who recently ran off to their class, and _me._

I know, I know, so impressive…demo, please hold you're applause, mina-san.

***Crickets chirp***

Erm, well I should be heading to class anyway.

I grabbed the edge of my dress, quickly wringing as much water as possible out of it.

I wanted to look presentable for my first day, but that goal was quite impossible;

Especially since I looked like a drowned rat in this ridiculous yellow dress.

Such was the result of walking in the rain with no umbrella _or_ jacket.

Lousy,_ lying_ weatherman -.-

With a deep breath I headed inside the building.

The halls were filled with gossiping girls and boys with bored expressions.

Upon entering, they had turned their attention to me and the whispering began.

"Who is _that_?"

"She's wearing our school's uniform. . ."

"So she's a new student, then?"

"Why is she soaking wet?"

"Who in there right mind comes to school, looking like they've just gone for a swim _fully clothed_?"

So some of the remarks were a bit ruder than others, and I could hear every word they loudly whispered. . .

But I brushed all their comments aside as I adjusted my glasses, pretending that I wasn't extremely embarrassed right now.

As blood rushed to my cheeks I parted my lips to speak,

"A-Ano. . ." my words were met with silence as everyone ceased talking and gave me their full attention; everyone looking at me, just waiting for me to make a fool of myself for their amusement.

". . .Sumimaisen, mina-san!" I exclaimed as I hurriedly ran up the large steps in the middle of the room and down a hallway, eager to get away from such an embarrassing situation.

As you may have noticed, I'm not particularly fond of large audiences.

Demo, for those of you who didn't notice I suppose that explains why I reacted in such a way to all that attention.

"I should probably hide somewhere. . .at least until I muster up enough courage to ask for directions, like I had previously planned. . ." I muttered.

Somewhat conveniently, there were to large double doors a bit farther down the hallway.

Above them, hung a sign that read "_The Third Music Room_."

Filled with curiosity, I walked towards the doors.

I placed my ear against the cool wood of the doors, only to hear nothing.

"Well it seems quiet enough. . ." I said to myself.

Grabbing the golden handles of the doors I yanked them open.

At that moment, it was a bit magical.

Like Alice in Wonderland, or Dorothy in Oz.

There was a blinding white light, and I squinted trying to see what exactly this room held inside it.

Suddenly Rose petals, glittering in the light whirled around me;

Then the white light began to fade, and I saw the room for the first time.

It didn't exactly look the part of a music room, because as far as I could tell there were no instruments here.

There were red couches, wooden tables and cushioned chairs, and there were decorative things here and there. There was a sparkly chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and there was a large elaborate window taking up nearly an entire wall.

Everything was no doubt expensive, and it looked like a little girl's Tea Party room, actually.

"Ah, it seems we have a stray kitten, Okaa-san~" announced a male voice.

"Indeed, it does." replied another male voice.

I'd be lying if I said that those voices didn't sound amazingly _sexy_. . .

Looking around for the source of the voices I saw two gorgeous guys in the male uniform, they were standing in a doorway that I had failed to notice before.

One was blonde, beautiful and charming.

The other had that sort of "_tall, dark, and handsome_" attractiveness to him.

The two boys began to walk towards me, and I took a step back.

"Here kitty, kitty, don't be afraid. . ." called the charming blonde as he neared me.

"Please excuse him, he's an idiot." said the dark haired male with an obviously fake smile.

"Okaa-san, how could you say such a cruel thing?" whined the blonde boy with an adorable pout.

Ignoring him, the bespectacled boy kept his gaze upon me.

"You're Minamoto Mamimi, the new scholarship student, correct?"

"H-Hai, how did you know?" I asked.

"I have my ways." the dark haired boy said, all mysterious like.

Can anyone else say:

Creepy Rich Boy Stalker with way too much time on his hands?

Cause I can, _5x_ fast.

"Ano, so how much do you know about me, exactly?"

I questioned the dark haired boy.

In response, the dark haired boy pulled out a notebook.

He opened it and thumbed through a few pages before clearing his throat to speak.

"Minamoto Mamimi, age 17. Generally goes by Mimi-chan, gender is female obviously; has two younger sisters; is transferring from Ourin Public High school to Ouran Private Academy on a scholarship along with sisters; family owns a small bakery; Is in class 2-A."

I scratched the back of my neck with an awestruck expression.

"S-Sugoi that's quite a-"

"Mimi-hime~!"

And suddenly the blonde was smothering me in a bear hug.

"You are yet another commoner who has graced Ouran with their presence, although you are no doubt a studious bookworm-"

At the words studious bookworm I felt like I was hit by an arrow or something.

"I must commend you on your efforts! However, you have a tough road ahead of you. . .~"

He paused for what I'm guessing is dramatic effect, while I felt a familiar ticklish feeling in my nose, like someone had taken a feather to it.

"You will be looked down upon as one of the poorest people in this school, and many may poke fun at your commoner ways, but fear not-"

As he rambled on he continued to hug me, so I was feverishly trying to escape.

You see, that ticklish feeling was building up more and more.

This meant sooner or later I was going to-

"Ah-_choo_!"

Opening my eyes (which I had shut when I sneezed) I saw the blonde's face directly in front of mine. His eyes were wide with shock, his lips formed into a small "o", and his skin had taken on a greenish tint in a comical sort of way, indicating he was a bit nauseous/ disgusted due to recent events; and on top of all that…his right eye began to twitch.

"_OhMyGod. . ._!" I uttered, as I stared at him in disbelief.

"I _can't_ believe I. . .Gomenasai!" I exclaimed as I bowed low in apology.

Returning to my regular height, I reached into my school bag that hung from my right shoulder and pulled out a handkerchief which I use to clean my glasses.

"Here. . ." I said softly, wiping his face of with the handkerchief.

"Daijobou, Mimi-hime?" the blonde suddenly asked.

"Excuse me?" I asked, adjusting my glasses.

"Are you okay? You sneezed and I noticed that you're dress is soaking wet. . ." he explained.

"Erm, well I walked here in the rain, so I suppose I must have caught a cold." I said, as I placed my handkerchief back in my school bag.

"We have a spare uniform you could change in to, if you'd like. It's a male uniform, but it's dry at least.", added the dark haired boy while he held up a bag.

Ignoring the urge to question why he had one out of nowhere, I bowed again; this time in gratitude.

"Arigatou, I apologize for burdening you in such a way." I stated.

The dark haired boy nodded, then as he handed me the bag he replied, "You can change in there, but hurry up. You're in the same class as us so we can show you the way. But it'd be in our best interest not to be late."

He nonchalantly pointed towards the doorway that he and the blonde had previously come from.

Walking towards said doorway, I paused.

"For supposed '_snobby rich kids_'. . .you two are unexpectedly nice. I wonder why that is?"

"It's because the Ouran Host Club exists to bring fortune to all women." the blonde boy said proudly as he dawned a princely pose.

"_Host-bu_, ne?" I mumbled as I entered the 'changing room'.

* * *

Now that I had changed into the nice and dry blue uniform, I stepped back into the room where the two boys were waiting patiently.

"Erm, excuse me gentleman. . .?" I stated as I fiddled with the tie of my uniform.

"Yes?" asked the dark haired boy.

"It just occurred to me. . .that I haven't gotten your names yet." I said with a goofy smile.

Okay, so I'm a bit _slow_ on the uptake. . .but we all have our flaws, right?

"Ah! Forgive our rudeness, dear princess. . ." the blonde pleaded.

"For I shall properly introduce myself and my dear friend~!" declared the blonde.

"Ahem, I am Suoh Tamaki the _**King**_ and President of the Host Club, and must I say…it's a pleasure to meet you Mimi-hime." the blonde, now known as Suoh Tamaki, proclaimed as he presented me with a red rose.

Gently taking the rose from his grasp, I smiled cheerfully.

"It's nice to meet you, Tamaki-kun. Also, thank you for the rose~!"

I said.

"Do itashi mashite, Mimi-hime." Tamaki replied sincerely.

"And this, is the Vice President of the Host Club, Ootori Kyouya~" Tamaki said, gesturing towards the dark haired male beside him.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Minamoto-san" Kyouya said with yet another fake smile.

"I could say the same to you, Kyouya-kun. And I'd prefer if the both of you would address me as Mimi-chan, please."

I said as I returned his fake smile with a real one.

"As you wish, Mimi-_san_. Now we should all head to class." Kyouya-kun said.

I suppose Mimi-san is the closest to Mimi-chan I'll get from him. . .

A few minutes later we found ourselves walking down the halls of Ouran.

Tamaki was smiling pleasantly and making flirty gestures towards girls that we passed in the hallways, Kyouya looked to be in deep thought, and I was contemplating what exactly a Host Club was.

"Tamaki-kun?" I called, as the beautiful blonde turned his attention to me.

"Yes, Mimi-_hime_ erm, chan?"

"I know that earlier you mentioned that your Host Club exists to bring fortune to ladies, but I don't quite understand what exactly you _do_ in such a club_._"

Tamaki seemed as if he was going to explain it to me, but Kyouya-kun spoke first.

"Well, why don't you experience it first hand?"

"Hm?" I questioned, tilting my head to the side out of habit.

"Oh! That's a great idea, Mommy! Our new daughter can come see us at work!"

Tamaki called as he held a finger up like he had an idea himself.

"Come with us to the Host Club this afternoon, and you can see for yourself how our club functions." Kyouya elaborated.

Meanwhile, Tamaki was hyper-actively bouncing down the halls exclaiming how this afternoon was going to be like the commoners' '_Bring your daughter to work day_'.

"Kyouya-kun?" I questioned, bringing said boy out of his reveries.

"Nani?" he asked with a bit of edge to his tone.

"Since when was such a ridiculous family setting established?"

**

* * *

**

"Pst. Oi, Tamaki-kun!" I whispered trying to get the blonde's attention.

Why was I trying to get his attention? Well it seems Tamaki-kun's a tad. . ._sensitive_.

Earlier, what I had asked Kyouya-kun seemed to have upset Tamaki-kun and his apparently fragile psyche. So he had pouted and was now giving off a depressing aura as he sat slumped in his desk.

Most of you are like, '_what desk? There's a desk in the hallway_?' or something like that, hm? Well no there's not a desk in the hallway, in fact we're actually in class right now.

Math class to be exact and it was a relatively easy class. Considering my amazing Math skills, and the fact that in these rich kid schools…the teachers really don't care what you do as long as you attend the classes. Well that's how _this _teacher was, anyway.

Tamaki continued to act like he was clinically depressed, ignoring my attempts at capturing his attention. Swallowing my pride and making a puppy dog pout I pleaded,

"**Papa**, please don't ignore me."

Those must have been the magic words, because the next thing I knew, Tamaki had scooted his chair over and was cradling me in his arms.

"Ah! Dearest daughter you finally accept your daddy!" Tamaki said.

Sweat dropping, I felt a number of glares burning holes in my head.

Glancing around, I saw that the majority of the females in the classroom were…

Well if looks could kill I'd be one **dead** lady.

I was sure they were all calculating how many ways they could murder me.

"Tamaki-kun, could you please stop hugging me?" I questioned nervously.

"Of course, daddy only wishes to make his daughter happy!" Tamaki said as he released me.

The glares subsided a bit, and I mushroom sighed in relief.

"Okay class let's do some review what we've just learned, okay?" I heard the teacher ask when I actually paid attention to her.

Yes she was actually teaching, I never said she wasn't.

C'mon what'd you think she was doing, _sleeping?_

The teacher just called on the people who actually wanted to be called on and also the majority of the class wasn't paying attention, everyone was doing their own thing, because frankly they could pay tutors to teach them all this junk.

In fact some of them were probably so rich that if they proclaimed that 2 2=fish, then it would be so. . .as long as they knew who to pay.

This school was probably for entertainment and amusement.

You know they get the real school experience with a side of extravagancy that only the rich and famous can afford.

Eh, but that's just speculation on my part.

_Brrrrrrrrrring_~!

Well that's one class down, and a zillion more to go.

Pulling out my schedule from my school bag, I saw that I had Music class next.

Suddenly, someone took my schedule from my hand. Looking up, I noticed that someone to be Tamaki. "Ah! Mimi-chan, we have Music class together!" he exclaimed with a smile.

"Really? Well now I won't get lost at least~" I said earnestly.

Looking over my schedule again, Tamaki said "It seems we have all the same classes, Mon ami!"

_Mon ami_? He speaks French, then?

"Ooh! You speak French, Tamaki-kun?" I questioned.

"Oui! It's truly romantic to speak the language of love, don't you agree?" Tamaki said with sparkly eyes.

"Mmhm! It'd be nice to be able to speak it. Then if I ever go to France I could flirt with those hot French guys!" I exclaimed wistfully.

"Ah, Mon Cheri. . ." Tamaki cooed as he grabbed my hand.

"Why go to France when you have your very own_ Paris Prince_ in front of you?" Tamaki said as he spun me towards him and I ended up squashed against his chest.

"Nani?" I questioned, and then I thought for a moment.

"You're. . .French, Tamaki-kun?" I drawled.

"Oui, I'm half-French. . ." Tamaki explained.

Well, at least that would explain the blonde hair, but. . .

"So that means. . ." I began as I felt blood rush to my cheeks in a blush.

"I sort of, unintentionally called **you** hot. . ." I concluded.

"Yes, but don't be ashamed of your attraction to me, Mimi-chan~" Tamaki announced as he hugged me gently.

"It is natural to be drawn to my beauty, so I cannot blame you!" Tamaki said, like that was supposed to make it better.

He seems a bit. . .what's the word?

"If you're shy, then I might even give you a portrait of me. . .!" Tamaki began.

Egotistical, Conceited, Vain. . .?

"So that you may admire my beauty without shame, in the quaintness of your commoner home!" Tamaki continued, hugging me tighter.

Ah, I know. . .

"Narcissistic!" I mumbled.

"What was that?" Tamaki asked, ceasing his rambling.

"You're a bit _narcissistic_, Tamaki-kun." I said with a goofy grin.

"Nani?" Tamaki exclaimed, as anime tears flowed down his cheeks.

"Oh yeah, you know. . ." I began in a teasing tone as I grabbed my bag and walked to the door.

"Hm?" Tamaki began as he followed suit.

We began walking to Music class, with Tamaki leading the way.

"Narcissistic as in, excessive love or admiration of oneself. Basically the same as _conceited_,_ vain_,_ bigheaded_,_ egotistical, self-loving_. . ." I explained nonchalantly, counting them off on my fingers.

A dark cloud hovered above him, lightening striking him with each italicized word.

I giggled; it's not as if I dislike him, On the contrary I think he's pretty freaking adorable. . .but it's unbelievably amusing to tease him, as I've recently found out.

Unbeknown to Tamaki-kun and I at that time, Kyouya-kun stood behind a corner.

His glasses glaring in the light and a smirk etched upon his face. He was writing information in his notebook, based on Tamaki and I.

"Interesting. . ."

* * *

"What do you play, Mimi-chan?" Tamaki asked as we entered the _first_ Music Room.

"The piano, though I'm afraid I'm not very good. . ." I said as I straightened my glasses.

The first Music room bore no resemblance to the third music room, other than the lovely pink walls that adorned _every_ room in Ouran, and the fact that both music rooms had a gigantic window.

"So ka. . ." Tamaki mumbled. Suddenly he raised his hand and called,

"Oi! Oi! Shimura-sensei?"

"Hai, Tamaki?" asked a woman with long black hair and sparkling blue eyes. She was obviously '_Shimura-sensei'_ even though she looked surprisingly young to be a teacher.

"Would it be alright if Mimi-chan and I played a duet?" Tamaki asked excitingly.

"Mimi-chan?" questioned the lady as she turned her gaze to me.

"Oh! The new scholarship student, ne?" She asked with a warm smile.

"Hai, my names Minamoto Mamimi." I introduced myself.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Mimi-chan. My name's Shimura Kiku. Please address me as Shimura-sensei, though." said Shimura-sensei said with a small smile.

"Hai! And it's nice to meet you as well, Shimura-sensei!" I said with a bow.

Shimura-sensei nodded and then glanced back at Tamaki.

"Hm, well I don't mind. I look forward to hearing you two play~"

Shimura-sensei said. She then went over to talk to other students.

"Okay then, come on Mimi-chan!" Tamaki said as he hopped over to one of the black baby grand piano's located in the room and sat down. He patted the space next to him on the piano bench, gesturing for me to sit next to him.

Sitting down in the provided space, I questioned.

"You play the piano, Tamaki?"

"Hai, I've been playing for years. . ." Tamaki answered.

"Oh, then you must be really good then." I stated.

"I suppose, but I'm sure you're just as good!" Tamaki said cheerfully.

"Nah-uh! I told you I'm quite terrible. . ." I said in protest.

Ignoring my last statement, Tamaki asked,

"Do you know **Pachelbel's Canon in D Major**?"

"Ano, well yeah. . ." I began hesitantly.

"Then why don't we play that?" Tamaki inquired.

Looking down at my hands that were placed in my lap, I replied.

"I'm not sure. . ."

Looking back at Tamaki he had these _kawai_ puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, but don't blame me when your ears start bleeding or something. . ." I mumbled, positioning myself to play.

Tamaki positioned himself to play as well, "Ready?" Tamaki asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be. . ." I answered.

Then we began to play, my fingers stumbled across the keys at first like I knew they would. However as we continued to play I got lost in the music, and my fingers began to glide across the keys with ease.

It sounded pretty amazing in actuality, and I had no idea that Tamaki could play so beautifully. . .

When the song came to an end there was complete silence. A moment later it was replaced with applause as I looked up from the piano to see the entire music class clapping.

"Yare, Yare, that was well played you two." Shimura-sensei said proudly.

"I told you that you were good, well great, actually." Tamaki said patting my head as if I were a puppy dog.

Suddenly the piano Tamaki and I were seated at was surrounded by other students.

"Oh my, Tamaki-sama! You play so beautifully!" one of the girls said.

"A beautiful person playing a beautiful song!" another girl chorused.

"My, how fitting!" another squealed, causing a chorus of agreement.

"I wish I could play my violin the way you play the piano, Suoh-san" one of the guys said, a bit disheveled.

"Ah, me too!" another guy said.

Geez, what am I chopped liver?

"My dear friends, you bring tears of joy to my eyes. It's truly wonderful to be appraised by such talented musicians like yourselves!" Tamaki said as he hugged himself, his eyes literally welling up in his eyes.

The girls swooned and the guys clapped.

I'm beginning to think this is a normal routine, or something like that…

"However, I must confess. . .the credit should not be mine alone! My dear friend Mimi-chan played just as beautifully as I~" Tamaki said hugging me.

Aw, that was sweet of him, I guess.

"Ah! It's the new commoner student!" one of the girls exclaimed as if she was just now realizing it.

"Another commoner like Haruhi-kun. . .!" Another girl added, and some of the girls swooned at the mention of this Haruhi person.

Note to self: Ask who '_Haruhi-kun_' is later!

"Weren't you in the female uniform earlier?" one of the boys asked me.

A bit startled at the attention I replied, "H-Hai, but as you may have noticed it was soaking wet. . .so Tamaki-kun and Kyouya-kun lent me this one."

I smiled pleasantly, and to my surprise the guy blushed a bit.

"I think the male uniform suits you better" another guy added cheerfully.

"I think so too, besides. . .those yellow dresses are kind of hideous." I agreed.

Feeling the glares of the other girl occupants of the room I smiled nervously.

"No offense, but you _know_ it's true!" I said with a nervous chuckle.

The glares simply intensified. . .

Oh, wait what's that I hear?

The sound of my hopes of ever making female friends at this school going down the drain. How _lovely_. . .

_Brrrrrrrrrring. _

**

* * *

**

From then on classes went by quite smoothly, Tamaki was in each and every one of my classes and Kyouya was in most of them.

Thank Kami-sama for that too, because they were my only friends at this school, not to mention they were my only distraction from the fact that the girls in all my classes were glaring daggers at me and planning my demise.

Currently though, we were headed back to the Third Music room so that I could examine how the Host Club functions first hand, or something like that. . .

And as we finally reached those familiar double doors, we found a swarm of Giant yellow bumble bees blocking our entry!

.

.

.

Okay so maybe I was exaggerating a _little_ bit. There was actually a swarm of bee-yotches in those puffy yellow dresses, and they seemed gigantic enough.

Oh _burn_, that was mean huh? Yeah well they deserve it. x)

"Pardon me, Princesses~" Tamaki called in his charming voice as he caught the girls' attentions.

"My friends and I need to get through. . ." Tamaki trailed off as he glanced at the door.

"Oh! Yes of course, Tamaki-sama!" one of the girls exclaimed, the rest of the girls making similar remarks as they parted way so that the Host Club doors were now accessible.

"Ah! My dear princesses. . .your cooperation is greatly appreciated~" Tamaki said as he smiled and winked at the girls.

That was cute. Geez, why doesn't he ever wink at _me_ like that. . .?

Wait, what the Hell? Where did such silly thoughts come from?

You heard nothing, **nothing** I tell you!

As the three of us entered the Third Music room we were met with that blinding white light and assault of rose petals that seemed to happen every time the double doors were opened.

The room was the exactly the same as it had been earlier except for the fact that it now held new people.

There were five extremely attractive males located around the room.

"Attention please~" Tamaki called his tone portraying his authority.

"Eh, Tono?" chorused two identical ginger haired males.

"You're late, Tama-chan!" cried a short blonde that looked as if he were merely a grade-schooler.

An incredibly tall stoic looking boy grunted in agreement.

"The customers were growing anxious. . ." stated one of the boys bluntly.

He was by far the most feminine looking of the bunch.

"Ah and Kyouya's late too!" one of the ginger haired twins said.

"That's unusual!" said the other twin.

"Geez, if I'm late it's another addition to my debt, but if you're late it's perfectly fine…_Damn rich bastards~_" mumbled the feminine boy in annoyance.

"What was that, oh Haruhi-kun who owes ¥8,000,000?" Kyouya questioned with a smirk.

**¥8,000,000? **

I've never even _seen_ ¥8,000,000!

"Nothing, Kyouya-sempai!" said the feminine boy with slumped shoulders.

"Ah, Dear Haruhi~" Tamaki called as he waltzed towards the feminine boy.

Leaving me to hide behind Kyouya-kun instead of the both of them like I had previously done.

"Please don't be unhappy with mommy and daddy! We have a reason!" Tamaki said as he hugged the feminine boy tightly.

So, _he_'s stuck with this family setting as well…

"Show them, Okaa-san!" Tamaki demanded excitedly.

Show them what. . .?

Suddenly Kyouya sidestepped to the right revealing me to the handsome guys.

"Oh. . ." the five handsome guys chorused.

In less than a minute they were surrounding me.

Four of them were inspecting me with curious expressions, and the feminine one was still held back in Tamaki's embrace, but he looked curiously at me as well.

"Um, hi?" I stated, adjusting my glasses and smiling nervously.

Tamaki then released the feminine boy and skipped over to me.

"Mimi-chan, allow me to introduce you to the Host Club!" Tamaki exclaimed as he gestured towards all the males in the room.

Firstly Tamaki went and grabbed the feminine boy and dragged him over so that he stood in front of me.

"This, my dear daughter, is Fujioka Haruhi the newest member of the Host Club."

"Haruhi is the Natural Type~" Tamaki said proudly.

"Hello." Haruhi said with a polite smile.

It's weird but the more time I spend with him, the more feminine he appears…

"Hajimemashite, Haruhi-kun~" I said with a bow.

"Ooh! Daddy just knew that his daughters. . .erm daughter _and_ son would get along well!"

Tamaki cried jovially as he hugged Haruhi and I.

Is it just me, or did he say daughter_s_?

As in referring to both Haruhi and I as his female children.

Maybe it was just a slip of the tongue or something…?

"Ah! I can see it now the two of you will become the best of friends.

With a friendship so beautiful it brings shame to all others. . .!

You can even rejoice in knowing that you're both Commoners and maybe.." Tamaki trailed off, no doubt going into one of his rambling sprees.

"Maybe. . .you can even invite Daddy along on your adventures! One big happy family~" Tamaki said, squeezing Haruhi and I in his death grip hug.

"Oi! Oi! Tono introduce us next!" exclaimed the twins waving their hands about trying to get Tamaki's attention.

Instantly Tamaki's mood seemed to dull, as well as mine.

Hopefully _these_ twins wouldn't be like the twins _I_ know.

Tamaki let go of Haruhi and I and motioned for the twins to step forward.

"These unscrupulous twins are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, The little-_devil_ type."

Tamaki introduced with little enthusiasm and extra emphasis on the word 'devil'.

"We're the Hitachiin twins!" the ginger haired twins chorused with Cheshire cat grins etched upon their symmetrical faces.

Doesn't look like I'll be able to tell them apart so easily…

"Hajimemashite, Hikaru-Kun. Hajimemashite, Kaoru-kun!" I said to them.

"Yosh, it seems we have another commoner friend, Hikaru!" said who I'm guessing was Kaoru with a smile.

"Yes, and you know what that means, Kaoru?" asked Hikaru with a smirk.

They both looked at each other and shouted,

"New **Toy**!"

Why do I suddenly feel the need to exclaim '_I'm doomed!_' ?

Suddenly I felt a tug on the bottom of my uniform jacket.

"Mimi-chan, Mimi-chan! Meet Usa-chan and I nexttttt~" exclaimed the little blonde boy.

With one hand he gripped the bottom of my uniform jacket, with the other he clutched an adorable pink bunny plushie to his chest.

"This is Haninozuka Mitsukuni, the Loli-shota type~" Tamaki introduced gesturing to the little boy.

"He may not look like it, but he's a senior." Tamaki added as an afterthought.

A _senior_? Geez, he's like, my sempai. :P

Too cute, though.

"Ne, Tama-chan! You forgot to introduce Usa-chan as well!" Mitsukuni said with a pout as he glanced back at Tamaki.

"My apologies, Honey-sempai." Tamaki said with a light smile.

"Ah! It's okay, Tama-chan! Usa-chan forgives you~" Mitsukuni said cheerfully.

"Ne, Mimi-chan~! This is my bunny Usa-chan! Usa-chan says it's nice to meet you!"

Mitsukuni said making Usa-chan wave at me.

Awwwwww :) He's like the little brother who's really an older brother I've never had.

Honestly, I'd gladly trade in those troublesome twins for an otouto like him.

"Also, call me Honey-kun or Honey-sempai, 'kay?" Mitsukuni said with sweet smile.

"Okay, Honey-kun!" I said returning the smile.

"Hehe, come eat cake with Usa-chan and I soon, Mimi-chan!"

Honey-kun then skipped over to a table covered in confectioneries and tea.

After that he started to devour cake after cake, it was like he'd never eaten before or something.

The tall stoic dude then grunted and followed Honey-kun.

"That's Morinozuka Takashi, the Wild type"

"Hmm. . ." Takashi grunted in response from where he stood.

Ah, a man of may words, _ne_?

"We usually address him as Mori-sempai, though." Tamaki said.

". . ."

Chyeah, I bet he's _loads_ of fun at parties. . .

"Ano, hi?" I questioned, feeling quite unsure.

Mori-sempai nodded and then turned his full attention to Honey-kun.

Pulling out a hankerchief, Mori-sempai then called Honey-kun's name.

"Mitsukuni. . ."

Honey then stopped in mid-bite, his fork held up with a big chunk of chocolate cake on it.

"Ne, Takashi?" Honey asked with a smile.

"Hold still. . ." Mori-sempai called as he then grabbed Honey's chin gently.

With the hankerchief he then wiped a big chunk of chocolate frosting off Honey's cheek.

"Oh, arigatou Takashi!" Honey exclaimed as he then continued his cake eating.

"Ah! You already know Okaa-san and I, but allow me to tell you our types~"

Tamaki said suddenly.

"Kyouya is the _cool _type. . ." Tamaki said.

Kyouya nodded in acknolodgement as he adjusted his glasses with a fake smile plastered upon his lips.

"Eh, that's understandable. . ." I mutter quietly.

"And lastly, I am the Prince type~" Tamaki said with an elogant bow.

A regular prince charming, eh?

"Okay! So now my dear daughter, you must designate one of us!"

Tamaki ordered with glee.

And suddenly there was a pink sign hanging above him that read,

'_Pick me, Pick me_!'

How 'bout, **no**?

Glancing around at all the Hosts I saw that the majority of them, particularly the less sane ones were staring intently at me with sparkling smiles and expressions that screamed

'_Pick me please! C'mon, you _know_ you want to_!'

The Hitachiin twins were definitely a no-go, troublemaking twins and I don't really mix.

Mori was too quiet for my tastes, but Honey-kun was definitely a possibility.

Kyouya was also a possibility, but I don't think he'd like it if I designated him.

And there's really no need for him to force himself to smile for my sake any more than he already does.

Haruhi was interesting, so he was option number three.

Hm. . .

Honey, Kyouya, and Haruhi, which should I designate?

**Rawrrrrrrrrrrr**!

Godzilla? Nope, its my tummy~!

I could always name him Tumzilla, though.

Yeah I think I'll do just that. . .

The Hosts in the room were all looking kind of disturbed. . .

Geez, like they've never heard a stomach growl before!

Well in any case, Honey seems to have a unlimited supply of food.

So, the Loli-shota type it is~!

"I'll designate Honey-kun, if that's alright?" I said.

"That's perfectly fine." Kyouya said scribbling something down on his notebook.

"What? _Nooooooo_! You should designate papa!" Tamaki exclaimed sinking to his knees.

Anime tears streamed down his face and he acted like it was the end of the world.

"Don't be such a crybaby, Tamaki-kun!" I said in frustration.

Of course that made things much worse, because Tamaki was suddenly hugging his knees in a corner of the room.

A dark cloud of deppression hung over him.

"Hold on a sec please, Honey-kun. . ." I called to the shorter blonde as I walked over to Tamaki.

Kneeling down in front of him I tried to reason with him.

"Ne, Tamaki-kun!" I called, as he looked up at me with sad eyes.

"I've already spent tons of time with you today, and that's a little unfair isn't it?"

I started, not really knowing where I was going with this.

Tamaki shrugged half-heartedly.

"I mean you're so, um, _wonderful_ that I feel selfish for keeping you all to myself today.

So it's only fair that I share you with everyone else, y'know?" I said with a grin.

Tamaki seemed to brighten up at that.

"Oh! Forgive me for misunderstanding Mimi-chan! And, how noble of you to cast your feelings aside for the sake of others who's affections are nowhere near equal to yours! Daddy's very proud of you!" Tamaki said hugging me.

He then stood up with me still in his embrace.

Feelings, affections? What the heck?

Releasing me, Tamaki then gently pushed me towards Honey-kun's direction.

"Go forth, my daughter! And I shall try not to weep with sympathetic tears for one as selfless as yourself!" Tamaki announced with watery eyes.

Prince charming? More like Drama King ~

Scurrying over to Honey's table I took a seat next to him.

"Did you really mean that, Mimi-chan?" Honey asked uncharacteristically skeptical.

"Erm, yeah!" I said, I mean maybe it was a tad hyperbolized on my part, but I did think Tamaki was an awesome person, not exactly _wonderful_. . .but whatever.

"Well that, and I'm **really** hungry!" I said cutting myself a slice of chocolate cake.

I'm pretty sure some of them anime fell at that.

**

* * *

**

After awhile, the Host club had decided to greet the customers, leaving me alone at Honey's table. As they got into formation they chorused,

"Irashimasen~"

Upon hearing this, the once angry and impatient girls were swooned and they immediately reverted back to their fangirlish ways.

Psh. See how the Host Club functions first hand, hm?

Oh yeah, I see _exactly_ how this club works.

In short, the Host Club was a bunch of Bishounen who girls paid to flirt with.

And the whole type thing? That's really just different fetishes.

Honey was for girls with little brother complexes.

Not _me_ of course! Heh, I'm proud to say I was purely in this for the food~

Otherwise I probably would of picked Haruhi xD

Speaking of Haruhi, he was more or less for the girls who fancied females; even if they didn't _know _it. Not that _I_ do or anything, Haruhi just seems like a nice person to chat with. And Mori was like a silent samurai or something;

Quiet and always looking after Honey.

The twins? Now _they_ were entertaining.

Can anyone say. . .yaoi?

I won't deny the fact that their act was hot, but I definitely won't admit it aloud either.

Especially since their act was obviously _fake_;

Kind of like Kyouya's was.

Well actually, Kyouya really didn't do much.

He just sat there typing on his laptop, occasionally cracking a fake smile in his customers direction, and over all looking incredibly cool. I suppose the fact that he was cool and sexy made up for the fake smiles, though.

Then there was Tamaki, but his act wasn't really an act.

He's been acting like that all day;

Overdramatic and flirtatious -_-

"**MIMI-CHANNNNNN~!**"

A voice suddenly exclaimed in my ear, startling me out of my reverie.

Quickly looking around I noticed that voice to belong to Honey.

Geez, he didn't have to yell. ;~;

"Huh?" I questioned dumbly.

"Usa-chan and I have been trying to get your attention for a really long time~!"

Honey exclaimed cutely with a hint of exasperation in his voice.

"Oh, gomen" I replied as I blinked.

"Hehe, it's alright~" Honey said with a smile and a shrug.

"Why were you trying to get my attention anyway?" I questioned curiously.

Honey paused a bit before answering,

"Ne, I dunno. I can't remember~"

I sweatdropped as Honey then turned his attention back to his customers, who randomly gave shouts of "Kya~!" and "Kawaii~!" at everything Honey did.

Okay, time to leave this crazy club. . .

"Right well, I'll be leaving now~" I muttered as I stood and stretched.

Apparently Tamaki had heard me from across the room,

"Nooooo~! Dearest daughter you cannot leave, Daddy will not allow it!"

"Nani? Mimi-chan's leaving us~?" Honey exclaimed with watery eyes.

Tamaki then ran up and captured me in his arms, probably hoping to stop me from leaving.

Hurriedly slipping out of his embrace a backed up towards the door.

"Eh, you're leaving so soon?" one of the twins questioned with a smirk.

"But you've barely spent any time with us. . ." drawled the other with a identical smirk.

Haruhi stayed silent, apparently not alarmed by my sudden desire to leave.

"Why not stay a little longer?" questioned Kyouya, not looking up from his precious laptop. Tamaki then took a few more steps towards me,

"Ah~! But you've yet to grasp the concept of this club so you must stay until you do!"

Tamaki ordered, thinking his word was law or something.

"No, I've grasped the concept of this club quite well, thank you!" I said, trying to convince them to let me leave.

"But wouldn't it be so much better to experience first hand with _me_; just the _two_ of us?"

Tamaki called somewhat seductively as he walked forward until he was standing directly in front of me.

Flustered, I backed up until I felt my back hit something solid.

Turning around I saw a very _expensive_ looking vase fall to the floor and shatter.

"_**Here we go again. . .**_" Haruhi said with a sigh.

I gulped.


	2. Chapter 2: Girl

**.::The Host Club Is Now Closed::.**

After cleaning up the fragments of vase from the floor I pulled a chair in front of the window, anxious to be as far away from them as possible.

Speaking of them, the Host Club had closed early due to today's err. . .antics.

And thus now they were huddled in a corner of the room, discussing my current predicament.

I have no doubt that they were quite eager to give me my punishment -_-

However, rather than focusing on that, I was replaying the incident over and over again in my mind and hoping that this was all simply some bazaar nightmare.

If it's not, I'm pretty sure this will be placed in my memories under the 'traumatizing experience' section.

"Minamoto Mamimi. . ." Tamaki proclaimed, perched upon his luxurious red chair like he was a King on his throne.

"We have come to a decision. . ." Tamaki trailed of ominously.

"You have been found guilty as charged, and sentenced to five years in prison!"

Then the Hitachiin twins, dressed in bailiff uniforms, dragged me out of the room.

**Harsh** much? D:

Okay,_ okay_. . .

So that's not what really happened, but it was pretty convincing, wasn't it?

"Starting tomorrow you're. . .the Host Club's maid~!" Tamaki announced with a smirk.

The rest of the club looked quite smug, particularly the twins and Kyouya.

Honey was smiling giddily, Haruhi was shooting me sympathetic glances, and Mori was. . .just Mori.

Ugh. I'd rather take the prison sentence. . .

"Isn't there any other way? I mean the vase couldn't be that expensive, right?" I pleaded.

I'd really rather not spend my spare time here of all places, especially when it could be spent helping out Obaa-chan and Ojii-san. . .

"¥7,000,000. . ." said Kyouya coolly.

"_What_?" I asked.

"The vase you broke cost ¥7,000,000, it was supposed to be a replacement for the ¥8,000,000 vase that Haruhi broke. Although it wasn't as valuable as the original, it is still quite expensive, and I highly doubt a commoner like yourself could afford to pay for it." Kyouya elaborated cooly with a swift adjustment of his glasses.

Anime tears trailed down my cheeks as I sank to my knees.

"Kami-sama, what have I done to deserve this?" I mumbled.

**

* * *

**

"And how was your day, dear?"

". . .Horrible." I muttered, shoveling Ramen in my mouth with the help of my trusty chopsticks.

"Hm? I'm afraid I couldn't quite catch that. . ." Obaa-san questioned, her tone laced with suspicion.

Swallowing some of the Ramen, I replied, "Mit mas mfrate."

"Mamimi, don't speak with your mouth open!" ordered Obaa-chan as she smacked the back of my head.

Swallowing the rest of the Ramen, I cried "Itai!"

"Gomenasai, Obaa-chan!" I apologized with a pout.

"It's fine my precious granddaughter~" Obaa-chan said as she patted my head.

"Besides it really can't be helped that you take after your _grandfather_ when it comes to table manners. . ." Obaa-chan said nonchalantly, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

Across the table, Ojii-san grew an anime vein.

"So what were you attempting to say earlier, dear?" Obaa-chan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I said that my day was _great_!" I answered, totally lying through my teeth.

"That's nice to hear, dear. Honestly, I was a bit worried about you, since today was your first day at that fancy school and all. . ." Obaa-chan said sincerely.

"Aya and Anzu's too. . ." she added with a smile glancing at my little sisters who were lost in conversation.

"But you are my grandchildren after all, so there's no doubt that you're strong and can handle anything those rich kids throw at you. . ." Obaa-chan trailed off, in a cocky tone.

Yes, as you might have noticed, my grandmother is a bit full of herself. I suppose that's why her parents named her Leiko, though. XD

"Grr! Look here you old woman. . .!" Ojii-san called, as he stood up.

"They're my grandchildren too! And I do not have bad table manners, the only reason you'd think so is because you're a bitter old prude."

Ojii-san rambled, pointing a finger at Obaa-chan.

"You're calling _me _old? Why, you hypocritcal bastard. . .!" began Obaa-san, standing up as well.

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Bla-ha, Blah. . ."

Yeah, I pretty much tuned them out as this was a regular occurrence in my house.

As you may have noticed, we skipped from the Host Club to dinner time.

So I'll give you a summary of what happened in between.

The host club finally allowed me to leave after instructing me to report to the Third Music Room everyday after class from now on. Also, Hikaru and Kaoru are having their mother(who is apparently a famous fashion designer) design a -shudder- maid uniform for me.

All in all, I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow. . .

_Splat!_

Ew, what the freak?

Something small and slimy had just landed on my glasses.

As it slid down the translucent lenses, I noticed that the foreign object was a small, crumpled up piece of paer.

"Yatta~!" chorused two familiar voices.

I glanced over to see my twin sisters high fiving merrily.

Looking closer, I noticed Anzu to have a small straw.

This could only mean one thing. . .

War.

**

* * *

**

"I'm really disappointed in you girls! Having a spit-ball fight during dinner is completely inappropriate!" Obaa-chan scolded with her hands on her hips.

"We're sorry, Obaa-chan~" my sisters and I chorused, heads hung in shame.

"You'd better be, and I expect you to have better behavior today!" Obaa-chan ordered strictly.

"You'd best be on your way to school now, girls." Ojii-san interrupted with a cheesy grin.

"Okay, Ojii-san!" The twins chorused, smiling cheekily.

They then proceeded to run off, eager to escape Obaa-chan's lectures.

"Hey, I wasn't through with you yet. . .!" Obaa-chan shrieked.

"Ano, Ittekimasu~" I called, walking off in the same direction my sisters had gone.

"Itterasshai~" Ojii-san replied, waving at my retreating figure.

"Hmph." Obaa-san said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest.

Compared to yesterday's dreary weather, today was a drastically needed change.

The sun was shining high in the clear blue sky, and the various Sakura trees around Ouran were in full bloom.

It was a lovely sight, but I don't really understand why they felt the need to have Sakura trees here. I mean, wasn't this school already pink enough? . . .Guess not. -_-

"Ne, Anzu~" I heard Aya call from under one of the Sakura trees.

"Hai, Nee-san?" Anzu replied sweetly.

"Look at that weirdo over there!" Aya said loudly pointing to me.

Do you _see_ how they treat me? ;~;

"Ah, yeah. And look at those **dorky** glasses!" Anzu exclaime, her tone laced with mock-disgust.

"And that hideous hair-do, how _disturbing_. . ." Aya added with a giggle.

"Hey, wait a second. . ." Anzu trailed off,squinting her eyes in concentration.

"That's just Mimi-nee-chan. . .!" Anzu finished in realization.

"Oh," Aya began blankly.

"Hi Mimi-nee-chan~!" She added, waving enthusiastically in my direction.

Mushroom sighing, I lazily waved back and then continued on my way.

I really wasn't in the mood to argue with them today, _especially_ when I need to conserve my energy so that I could survive my first day as the Host Club's maid.

Aya and Anzu then ran over to me, obviously unsatisfied with my reaction.

"What's wrong, Mimi-nee-chan?" Aya inquired with a pouty expression.

"Usually you'd be furious by now. . ." Anzu mused.

"_And_ you'd probably be chasing us and shouting threats. . ." Aya pointed out.

I couldn't help but smirk at them.

"I have more important things to deal with today, so I need to conserve my energy. . ." I replied scathingly.

"More. . ."

"Important?" My sisters echoed rather dejectedly.

"Yup!" I chirped with a smile just as a cute pink petal landed in my outstretched palm.

**

* * *

**

"A cherry blossom viewing banquet. . .?" I queried.

"Yes, that is today's theme as chosen by our King." Kyouya informed, scribbling notes down in his notebook rather furiously.

"Isn't it glorious, Mimi-chan?" exclaimed Tamaki, his amethyst eyes sparkling with excitement.

"I suppose. . ." I replied, awkwardly adjusting my glasses.

"Holding a loved one close beneath the Sakura trees, basking in a romantic atmosphere that occurs as rarely as the cherry blossoms bloom. . ." Tamaki rambled, hugging himself close.

Of course his speech was thoroughly ignored by both Kyouya and I, though Tamaki failed to notice.

Currently, it was after school in the Third Music Room and Tamaki and Kyouya had been informing me of today's "theme."

Oh, and the rest of the club? Well the majority of them were off getting changed into their cosplay outfits.

Yes, my fellow Otakus, I did say _cosplay~_ Yumm.

"We're back~!" the Hitachiin twins chorused, entering the room.

"And we've brought _your _costume!" added one of the twins as they both pointed at me.

. . .Uh, yay?

"Our mother made it specifically to match the costumes we're wearing. . ." The other twin piped up, holding up a back.

"Ah~! I can't wait to see my adorable daughter in her maid costume!" Tamaki proclaimed, pumping a fist in the air.

"Now, go change!" The twins declared in unison, shoving the bag in my arms and then pushing me in the direction of the changing rooms.

"When you're finished, report to the Cherry Bloosm Viewing Banquet immediately. . .!" Tamaki ordered.

**

* * *

**

"Geez, what's with these bows?" I questioned in frustration as I walked.

Over all, the maid costume was nice, but a little too frilly for my tastes.

It was black and white like you'd expect, although it had way too many bows attached.

At a glance it appeared to be one of those off-the-shoulder dresses, but in reality it was just a bit too big for me.

Heh, well at least it wasn't _short_.

I'd probably die of embarrassment if it was one of those skimpy maid costumes used for like, Maid Cafes or something. After all, this isn't _Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama! _Pft, please. ~

"_Ooh_! Mimi-chan looks kawai, ne?" I heard Honey say as I reached the area where the Cherry Blossom viewing banquet was to take place.

At this comment the entire Host club turned to look at me.

There was silence for a moment and then-

"My dear daughter, no amount of words could ever describe just how wonderful you look~" Tamaki said twirling around rather melodramatically.

And right now, no amount of words could ever describe just how ridiculous _he_ looks. . .

"Eh, Okaa-san did a good job. . ." Said one of the twins as the both of them sported a thumb's up.

"Of course it would've looked better if you weren't so flat-chested. . ." The other twin muttered.

"F-Flat-chested?" I questioned, taking offense.

"It's about time to greet the customers." Kyouya intervened, using the pen in his hand to point at the rapidly approaching ladies.

"Great, so what do I do?" I questioned as I pointed to myself.

"Smile, hold this, and serve the customers." Kyouya said, handing me a curcular tray with a teapot and a few teacups placed upon it.

"Right," I nodded.

For the very first time, I joined the Host Club in their "_Greet-The-Customer_" formation.

"_Irashaimasen_~"

**

* * *

**

"My princess, which cup would you like your tea in?"

I heard Tamaki question one of his fangirls.

"This Foley cup? This Worcester one?" he continued showing off various teacups.

"Or this Susie's Gardenia?"

What's the big deal? I mean, they're only teacups. . .

Although in all honesty, I would have preferred the Susie's Gardenia myself.

"They're so lovely!" exclaimed the fangirl who was currently getting all close and super comfy with Tamaki.

"These are British antiques, right?" she asked curiously.

"What type do you like, Tamaki-kun?"

Swiftly invading her personal space, Tamaki replied, "Of course I'd choose the princess here for takeout, please."

I don't remember that being an option, the jerk!

"Oh. . .!"

"Tamaki-kun, that's-" The fangirl began, but I angrily turned my attention to the Hitachiin twins before I could hear the rest of her stupid statement.

"You've never been to the Covent Garden?" one of the twins questioned rather incredilously to a customer.

Oh my, she hasn't? That's _so_ hard to believe, isn't it? -_-

"No. I've only been to Portobello as far as antique markets are concerned." The customer replied casually, although it seemed as if she was rather ashamed of her lack of Covent Garden visits.

"The place is _quite_ enchanting." Quipped the other twin.

"These Victorian wares were pretty much bought from there. . ." The twin who had spoken early continued for his brother.

Yes, I still have yet to master the art of telling them apart. . .

**Crash!**

"Kaoru!" the twin who was talking about the Victorian wares exclaimed, turning to his brother.

Apparently, Kaoru, while pouring tea, had "_accidentally_" knocked over a teacup resulting in the tea buring his poor little finger.

So, Kaoru was the one who got injured, and Hikaru was the other.

Now I can tell them apart, or at least I can temporarily.

Hikaru then brought Kaoru's finger to his lips and gently sucked on it, or _kissed_ it. Whatever. . .

But, it seems this excited the customers who were blushing a squealing a great deal at the very sight.

"It's because you were looking elsewhere. . ." Hikaru began ever so gently.

"All you need to look at is me. . ." He declared promptly afterwards, his tone rather sexy.

"Hikaru. . .~" Kaoru gasped shyly.

Well, I think we all know who's the Seme and who's the Uke. . . :P

"Ahh! I can't take it anymore, it's too beautiful!" one of their customers exclaimed turning away from the scene.

"That's such a _waste_! You should take it in carefully!" the other customer chided.

"This is a very important scene!" she finished.

Kyouya then took this time to appear and try to sell some merchandise to the customers.

However, whilst the ladies were distracted, the Hitachiins called out to me.

"Oi, Maid-san~" Kaoru began.

"Quit slacking off and do your job!" Hikaru finished with a smug smirk.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Clean this up, ne?" Kaoru questioned pointing to the teacup he had broken during his act.

Grumbling, I reluctantly complied.

Geez, why did they have to make a mess in the first place?

"I'll buy them!" exclaimed the two customers from earlier.

At the exclamation, the twins and I turned to look at Kyouya and the two female customers.

"So that's how we fund ourselves, huh?" I said with a sigh.

"Yeah. . ." The twins nodded in unison.

"But also. . ." One of them started.

"When were pictures of us taken?" Questioned the other in suspicion.

Well, at least Kyouya isn't selling a magazine with photos of _me_ in it.

"Oh, and would you like to see the preview of our new magazine?" Kyouya questioned holding up a thinner magazine then the ones he had previously.

"Ooh~! Is that your new maid, the _commoner_ one?" asked one of the customers.

I should have knocked on wood, bit my tongue, or something, damn it. . .!

"Yes, I think they'd make lovely presents for any male friends of yours, don't you?" Kyouya asked with a smirk.

"Yes of course! Can we order in advance?" the other customer asked.

"Of course you can ladies. . ."

Grr, I hate him. . .I _really_ do.

_**Sigh**_.

**

* * *

**

"In one day, those three people spend nine hours together on campus. However, your interactions with Haruhi are limited to the one to a two to one hour time period in this club. " Kyouya explained, pointing at the yellow and red graphs.

Yes, Tamaki had just come to terms with the fact that the twins spent more time with Haruhi then he did due to the twins teasing and Kyouya's explanation.

Of course, he spent nearly all day with me, but does he care. . .?

_Nooo_.

Besides, Haruhi's a **guy**! So unless Tamaki is secretly gay, I don't quite understand what he's so worked up about.

And that gigantic white board the graphs were on, just _who_ do you think had to bring that in?

It definitely wasn't Kyouya! D;

"Another way to put it. . .Is that the amount of time you actually take part of Haruhi's daily life is but a mere 3%" Kyouya concluded.

"Waah~! I don't wanna here it, I don't wanna here it!" Tamaki whined childishly, covering his ears to protect them from the truth.

"O' Haruhi!" Tamaki began, grabbing the aforementioned male by his shoulders.

"You should not spend time with those unscrupulous twins anymore~!" Tamaki demanded.

"Hey!" exclaimed the twins, obviously feeling offended by the term "unscrupulous."

"I don't wanna hear that from you, Tono!" One of the twins declared, seeming quite irked.

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah!" began Tamaki weakly.

"All faults lie in the fact that you're hiding your gender as a girl from everyone!" Tamaki exclaimed clenching his fist.

"You need to return to your normal female student life!" He continued stubbornly.

"Get surrounded by your female friends. . .!" Tamaki ordered and as he did so, a pink sign then appeared above my head that read "FEMALE FRIEND~"

"-and have a healthy student lifestyle, that is father's wish!" Tamaki finished with anime tears.

"And who's this father?" Haruhi asked bluntly.

"Oh, revert back! Revert back, revert back _now_!" and there Tamaki was, shaking Haruhi so roughly by the shoulders I was afraid he might get whiplash.

"There's no need to hurry." One of the twins stated, seeming much calmer than our King.

"Besides, they'll find out in the very near future~" The other twin proposed.

"Remember, the day after tomorrow is the Physical Examination!" Chirped the first Hitachiin.

"Physical. . .Examination?" Haruhi asked, blinking dumbly.

Everyone then sported expressions ranging from surprised to downright scared as they stared at Haruhi without shame.

"Oh yeah, it's in two day, isn't it?" Kyouya mused, bringing a hand to his chin.

"Then. . .they really will find out. . ." Haruhi questioned, raising her index finger up in the air in a very "Eureka!" sort of way.

"-That I'm a girl." Haruhi finished simply, putting a finger to her cheek.

The rest of the Host Club gasped as lightening struck in the background.

_Girl_? **Daughter**? Female?

"Wait, Haruhi's a _**girl**_?" I questioned in shock.


	3. Chapter 3: Quack

"Ah~!"

"Hahahah!"

"Haruhi. . ."

Tamaki had this dazed look on his face as he muttered such things in what I could only assume to be contempt.

Obviously, he was _daydreaming_ about Haruhi.

No Tamaki was not a homo, because as you know I discovered that Haruhi is, in fact, a female which explains why "**he**" is oddly feminine.

"Looks like Tama-chan is enjoying himself~" Honey noted as we all stared at Tamaki.

"Actually he's pretty sad in my mind. . ." One of the twins mumbled.

Suddenly, Tamaki leapt from his chair.

"Don't be jealous, Hikaru!" he exclaimed, wagging his pointer finger back and forth in quite the twin-taunting manner.

"I knew all along this would happen. . .!" Tamaki exclaimed.

UH-OH! My Commoner-Senses are tingling.

A long-winded, over-dramatic speech is definitely coming on. . .!

"Even without all your jealousies. . ." Tamaki continued, now in full out rambling mode.

"I saw this result from the very beginning. . .!" He boasted.

And just what result did he see, _exactly_. . .?

Tamaki then threw his arms out, his face taking on the same dazed expression it possessed nearly moments ago.

"This anime is a school love comedy to begin with. . ."

"Actually, this _fanfiction_ is a love comedy, Tamaki-kun." I added stiffly only to be whole-heartedly ignored.

"Haruhi and I are the main characters of this love comedy. . ." He stated, placing a hand under his chin in thought.

"And what are _we_. . .?" The twins questioned blankly.

"_Obviously_ you two are homo side characters~!" Tamaki announced, pointing a finger at them.

Pulling a stick out of nowhere - well somewhere, although I'd rather not know where. . .

Tamaki drew a line between himself and the rest of the club.

"So don't cross this line!" He ordered promptly.

"I don't know about you guys, but this is pissing me off a bit. . ." I added, an anime-vein present upon my forehead.

"Oh, Mimi-chan! Don't worry! Daddy will allow you to be on this side of the line since you're not one of the homo side characters. . ." Tamaki trailed off.

He grabbed my hand and tugged me to his side of the line, resulting in me slamming into his chest… ~

Fighting back a blush I asked, "H-Honto? Then what am I?"

"The heroine's rival in _love_~" Tamaki called with a smirk.

Is he. . .?

Is he instigating that in this '_love comedy' _I'm fighting Haruhi for Tamaki's love?

Psh. As _if!_

"Besides that. . ." One of the twins spoke up before I could lash out at Tamaki violently.

"Do you really understand, Tono?" the other twin finished.

"If they find out that Haru-chan is a girl, she won't be able to stay at the Host Club any more~" Honey said, clutching Usa-chan in his tiny arms.

Tamaki then stood frozen like a statue, dramatic music playing in the background.

It was one of those "_Dun, Dun, Dunnnnn_" moments if I ever saw one.

"But if Haru-chan wore female clothes, she'd look more and more cuter!" Honey mused.

"In Junior High School she walked around in girl clothes normally. . ." Kyouya added.

"So, she must have been popular amongst the guys, right?" Asked one of the twins curiously.

"Yes, according to my investigations. . ." Kyouya began.

"She usually received a confession from someone about once every month." Kyouya confirmed.

"Man, I wish that'd happen to me. . ." I muttered, feeling rather despondent.

"Ahh~ Then our lord won't be able to get close to her anymore!" One of the twins said in realization.

"Well, we don't mind since we're in the same class she is. . ." The other twin shrugged.

Tears sprang to Tamaki's eyes at the very thought.

"How can that be?" He exclaimed in utter disbelief.

I took this opportunity to move away from him.

"Sorry, I'm late!" Haruhi called as she opened the door.

Grabbing her by the shoulders, Tamaki announced "Don't worry, Haruhi!"

"At tomorrow's physical examination, your secret about being a girl will be protected by us!"

"So please stay as our very own _princess_~" Tamaki demanded looking into Haruhi's eyes.

Suddenly, I feel quite neglected. ;~;

Haruhi's eyebrows rose in surprise, "Say _what_?"

"It's true that we'd find it irritating if other guys spoke with Haruhi. . ." One of the twins admitted.

"Then, it's settled!" The other twin proclaimed.

Sighing, I plopped down on one of the red couches.

"I want no part in this. . ."

**

* * *

**

**The Great Strategic Plan To Hide Haruhi's Gender~!**

What a mouthful, huh?

"Well then, fellow team members~" Tamaki announced, standing before the gigantic white board with a black marker in hand.

"Please reconfirm your positioning in formation A for tomorrow's physical examination." Tamaki stated.

"Yessir!" The rest of the Host Club said, saluting our "fearless" leader.

"I see. . ."

Haruhi stared at them blankly before making a '_eureka_!' expression.

"If they find out I won't be able to stay as a host, so I won't be able to repay my debt."

Turning to the window, Haruhi began to calculate.

"The amount remaining that I have to repay is 5,333,332 Yen. . ."

"_Lucky_!" I replied from my seat on the red couch.

Tamaki and the twins sweat-dropped at this.

"How about you think of some other method?" I asked lazily, cleaning my glasses with my soft pink hankercheif.

"Yes, I'll think of some other method!" Haruhi said in response as she began to laugh.

"Captain~" The Hitachiin twins called.

"The target herself has no will to do this at all!"

"What an uncooperative heroine. . ." Tamaki murmured in dismay.

"Do you hate being a host _that_ much?" Tamaki inquired, pointing a finger at Haruhi's back.

"Do you hate this club _that _much?" He continued, shoulders slumping.

"Well if I had to decide, yeah." Haruhi said without hesitation.

Tamaki looked totally shocked at this.

"Well, what did you expect?" I asked him bluntly.

"The both of us were forced to join this club in order to repay a debt, not because we actually wanted to do so." I explained, pocketing my handkercheif.

Tamaki then retreated to his infamous little corner of woe.

Smiling cheekily and rubbing the back of her head, Haruhi said "But you really can't do anything about it if they find out I'm a girl!"

"What a way to decrease our motivation. . ." One of the twins mumbled, obviously discouraged.

"What we should take care of first is this lack of drive in Haruhi. . ." Kyouya stated, glancing at Haruhi who was merrily chuckling in front of the huge window.

"We should probably take care of _that _too. . ." Kyouya drawled, taking a quick glance in my direction.

I'll have you know, asswipe, I'm not a "**that**."

"You know, I can hear you. . ." I complianed, lightly glaring at him.

Naturally, I opted to reply with the nicer option.

"I intended for you to." Kyouya replied, completely unfazed.

"You should be helping out as well, lazy maid-san~" the twins chorused dully.

"I've helped out plenty~" I said with a grin.

"_Oh_?" Kyouya asked unconvinced.

"Hai! Did you here that suggestion I gave Haruhi earlier? That was a huge help!" I insisted.

"And I'm **not** lazy, I just don't want to take part in this scheme of his." I added, pointing to Tamaki who still lingered within his emo corner.

"Is that because you want Tono all to yourself?" one of the twins questioned with a smirk.

"Nani?" I asked.

"Ahh. You do, don't you? You really are Haruhi's _'rival in love'_!" the other twin accused.

"_N_-" I began only to be interrupted by Mori.

"Ootoro."

Haruhi's laughter ceased as everyone looked deathly serious.

_Ootoro_? What's the big deal? It's just fatty tuna. . .

"Oh yeah. . ." Tamaki began, speaking for the first time in awhile.

"At our last dance party. . ." He drawled out.

"You didn't get to eat any, right?" He finished, looking in Haruhi's general direction.

"Did you know?" whispered one of the twins loudly to the other.

"That person there has never had a taste of Ootoro before?" the twin continued.

"Oh my, what a pitiful upbringing." Drawled the other twin as Haruhi and I sweat-dropped.

"You'd be able to eat all kinds of delicious foods if you stayed in this club. . ." Honey mused, examining Usa-chan as if it were some huge chunk of strawberry cake.

"W-What are you talking about?" Haruhi dismissed with a wave of her hand.

"Just because I'm poor, and just because I'll be able to eat Ootoro, aren't reasons to keep on hiding my gender. . ." Haruhi reasoned, although it was hard to tell who she was trying to convince. . .the boys, or _herself_.

"I'm not that gluttonous of a. . ." She began, a big smile plastered upon her face.

Opening her eyes, Haruhi sweat-dropped.

"Will I _really_ be able to eat some?" Haruhi questioned skeptically.

Tamaki and the twins smiled adorably, little pink hearts floating above their heads.

Mori and Kyouya had their usual facial expressions plastered on and I face-planted; anime-style.

".God. She traded her dignity in for a slice of fatty freakin' tuna. . ." I murmured in disbelief.

**

* * *

**

"_**Physical examinations shall begin now. All students please proceed to your respective nurse's office according to your class**_!" Boomed a female voice over the loudspeaker.

**

* * *

**

"Since when were physical examinations so eccentric?" I asked Kyouya as we casually walked down the red carpet, nurses and doctors on either side of us, bowing as we passed.

"Everything is still about business, even though this _is_ a school." Kyouya answered, pushing his glasses up with his inded finger.

"Ah. So this whole thing is basically for show." I concluded.

"More or less." Kyoua replied as we came across Haruhi.

"It's so glaringly _obvious. . ._" She muttered.

"What is?" I asked curiously.

In response, she pointed out Mori and Honey who were dressed up as doctors.

"Those two are there in case of an emergency." Kyouya stated, answering the question that Haruhi and I had yet to ask.

"And what's the point in their disguise?" Haruhi questioned.

"Just helping us create the atmosphere. . ." Kyouya elaborated rather vaguely.

Haruhi and Kyouya then got into a casual discussion about the physical examination and the plan which I pointedly ignored.

If you didn't know, which you probably don't, I've already had my physical examination.

Kyouya has as well, so that's why we were currently in class 1-A's examination section.

After a while, Haruhi was dragged away by a petite looking nurse, and almost exactly after that a familiar looking man in a doctor's coat bumped into Kyouya.

"I-I'm so sorry!" The man exclaimed.

"It's okay. . ." Kyouya dismissed.

"Hey-" Kyouya and I both began in unison, realization dawning upon us.

But it was already far too late as the man had walked swiftly out of sight.

**

* * *

**

"_Kyaaaaaaaaaa_~!"

That's right ladies, the Hitachiin twins were **shirtless.**

Of course they were supposed to take their shirts off _behind_ the curtain. . .

But there seems to be no complaints from anyone. . .

_Especially_ not me xD

Oh, and that scream? The twins were performing their **yaoi-ness **in front of the fangirls.

_**Whoosh.**_

Ooh, _clever_.

You see why the fangirls were distracted, Mori and Honey ran behind them and pushed Haruhi into one of the curtained rooms.

I presume this is part of the plan to protect Haruhi's dirty little secret, but who knows?

Definitely not me. . .

I wasn't informed of the plan since I blatantly refused to take part in it.

Haruhi's nurse then requested for him to take off his shirt behind the curtains and then come out for the chest measurement.

And to my and the fangirls surprise. . .

Tamaki pushed back the curtains adorned in a brown wig that resembled Haruhi's hair and an unbuttoned white shirt that showed off his bare chest quite nicely.

Unable to think logically due to Tamaki's exposed flesh, I didn't bother to ask why he thought he could get away with pretending to be Haruhi. . .especially since there were way too many obvious differences to account for.

"Fujioka Haruhi here. . ." Tamaki said softly.

All the fangirls sported sweat-drops and I was still lost to the world, my gaze fixated upon Tamaki without shame.

The twins sudden burst of laughter brought me out of my stupor, though.

"He _really_ did it!" one of the twins exclaimed.

"Of _course _they'll know! Of _course _they'll know!" the other twin exclaimed in hysterics.

They were laughing so hard that they were literally crying.

Tamaki looked quite embarrassed as he threw the Haruhi wig to the floor.

"You guys! You two said they'd _never_ find out this way!" Tamaki exclaimed grabbing one of the twins by the neck.

"This is just a little revenge for calling us the homo side characters. . ." The twin Tamaki was attempting to strangle replied cheekily.

Tamaki then tiptoed back to the curtained room with his tail between his legs.

"You have a bit of drool right there." Came Kyouya's voice suddenly as he pointed to my chin.

"How long have you been there?" I asked stupidly, pulling out my handkerchief and wiping the drool away.

"Long enough to see you drooling over our King." Kyouya stated nonchalantly with a smirk as he adjusted his glasses.

"I wasn't drooling over him! I just happen to have overactive salivary glands!" I replied furiously.

Tamaki then hurriedly left the curtained room with a scream,

"Well I suppose I should inform Haruhi of the _real_ plan now." Kyouya said quietly as he started towards the curtained room.

"The _real_ plan? What would the real plan happen to be?" I inquired blankly.

"All the doctors and nurses are from my family's hospital so I was able to arrange for Haruhi to meet with a '_special male student nurse' _who has been informed of the situation in a private room." Kyouya explained as he continued walking.

"And let me guess. . ." I began coyly.

"The reason you didn't inform anyone of this in the beginning is because you wanted revenge for being called a homo side character as well, right?" I inquired.

"Precisely." Kyouya replied with a smirk as he entered the curtained room.

**

* * *

**

"It's true!" a girl exclaimed in hysterics causing Kyouya, Mori, Honey and I to stop walking and turn around.

"There was a doctor that grabbed my shoulders-" continued the same girl.

"And tried to do something improper!" she finished as a nurse patted her back in attempt to comfort her.

As she sobbed she added, "And I tried resisting!"

"My, how _scary_!" another girl added.

"I wonder if it's a pervert?" questioned the other.

"We need to be careful in early spring!" announced another girl.

"So I was right after all. . ." Kyouya said, bringing a hand to his chin.

"After all~?" questioned Honey curiously.

"That guy we just saw?" I questioned more to Kyouya then anyone else.

Nodding he continued, "Although he was wearing a white coat, he definitely wasn't from our hospital. . ."

"So I_ did _think it was weird. . ."

"Then _say_ so already!" The twins interrupted, feeling a bit perturbed no doubt.

"Oh well, security guards will get him right away!" Kyouya said without worry.

"And where did this pervert head?" asked a guy in concern for the girl.

"Ahh. He went towards the special male students nurse's office. . ." The traumatized girl replied.

The special male student's nurse's office?

Isn't that where. . .?

"Haruhi. . .!" The Host Club members and I all chorused.

**

* * *

**

"Tama-chan _kick_!" Tamaki exclaimed, leaping up and kicking open the curtains that held Haruhi and the pervert behind them.

In result, the familiar looking guy in the white coat (aka the '_pervert_') went flying into the wall.

"One. The beautiful looks that attract attention. . ." The Hitachiin twins chorused causing Haruhi to look up in shock.

"Two. The fearless rich men. . ." Kyouya continued coolly.

"Three. The gentleman-ship that. . ." Mori added, actually making use of his vocal chords for once.

". . .Cannot overlook evil in this world." Honey finished Mori's sentence as he looked scary and oddly serious.

Tamaki then threw his white shirt over Haruhi's head, "We, the Ouran Host Club. . ." Tamaki continued loudly.

"Have now come forth!" He and the rest of the club finished.

"Um, _go team_?" I added since I felt I should say something.

Yeah, that was a total moment killer right there. . .

But even so, the "pervert began to tremble in fear.

"P-Please, spare my life!" he exclaimed bowing low to the ground.

"I run a small clinic in the neighboring town." The man began sadly.

He seemed to look more and more familiar and I was sure I knew someone who also ran a small clinic in the neighboring town. . .

"My name is Yabu. . ."

"Yo! His name is Yabu, man. _Yabu_!" one of the twins exclaimed.

"Wow. . ." The other twin murured.

"They really exist, don't they?" Continued the very same twin.

_**Quack**_?

Ahh. I know who he is now!

"Dr. Yabu!" the twins chorused glancing at each other.

"Yeah. I really just wanted to see my daughter who left the house with my wife last month. . ." stated somberly.

"So I came all the way to school!" He added proudly.

"Why did your wife and daughter leave you?" Haruhi questioned him with wide eyes.

"Yeah. That's because. . ." began.

He then went in to a detailed explanation of how his wife and daughter left him, of course I already knew that so I didn't pay much attention.

"And basically like that. . ." He began.

"I am really _bad_ at managing my clinic. . ." He continued.

"And I can't say no to other people. . .so they got tired of a life filled with debt. . ." He finished, bowing his head in apparent shame.

Everyone else was like "**W.T.F**."

"I just. . .want to see my daughter once more, and so getting hit by rain. . .and getting lost. . .and finally reaching this school . . ." He rambled rather pitifully.

"But for some reason they've mistaken me for a physical examination doctor. . ." He said, kind of confused.

No, now **why** would people do that?

"Well duh, you're wearing a white coat." One of the twins mumbled.

"Anyone would mistake you for a doctor." The other twin agreed.

"And in the end. . ." He began as he had a flashback about that girl mistaking him for a pervert.

"When I asked for my daughter, she screamed. . .!" He ended as he cried.

"-And I ended up being a fugitive!" he added, still crying.

"Oh, how unfortunate!" Tamaki cried, feeling sorry for the doctor.

I've had enough of this. . .

"_Baka_!" I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my chest.

Of course that caused everyone to look at me.

"You've obviously come to the wrong school." I concluded.

The doctor stared at me for a moment, probably thinking that I was familiar to him.

"Yes, could it be. . ." Kyouya began, drawing attention to himself.

"That the school you're looking for is the public school _Ourin_ High School?"

"Yes, and?" asked the doctor completely clueless.

"This is Ouran Academy!" I exclaimed in a "_duh_" tone.

"-Not your daughter's school." Kyouya continued for me.

Dr. Yabu looked utterly shocked.

"You didn't even know what school your daughter goes to?" Kyouya questioned in disappointment.

"Maybe they got tired of that aspect of you, instead of the debts." Kyouya concluded.

"Kyo-chan~! You actually figured out he was looking in the wrong school!" Honey said, obviously impressed.

"There's no way a daughter from such a small clinic-" began Kyouya.

"Could attend this school, right?" he asked.

At that, Haruhi and I glared at him.

"But also. . ." One of the twins stated.

"How is it that Maid-san figured it out as well?" the other twin said curiously.

Everyone turned to me for my answer.

"It's because Megumi-chan's his daughter, ne?" I replied vaguely.

At this the doctor turned his full attention to me.

He studied me for a moment and then, "Ahh, Would you be. . ." He began searching for a name.

"Mamimi-chan?" He guessed finally.

"_Mimi_-chan." I corrected with a nod.

"So what, you know each other?" One of the twins inquired.

"My records show that Mimi-san attended Ourin high school before she came here." Kyouya answered smartly.

"So you went to school with his daughter, ne Mimi-chan~?" Honey asked cutely.

"If I remember correctly, she's my daughter's good friend." said, bringing a hand to his chin.

"One of her _only_ friends. . ." I mumbled, a bit forlorn.

"What do you mean?" inquired.

Oh great, it's _my_ turn to ramble now.

"Megumi-chan gets made fun of a lot because of him." I said, pointing at the doctor.

"Having a father who's known as Dr. Quack isn't too good for your popularity, you see. " I continued.

"But I stood up for her and became one of her only friends. . .her other friends being Mika and Daichi." I finished swiftly.

Dr. Yabu then looked even more depressed at that.

"It's no use! She's surely given u-" began the doctor quite downcast.

"Okay then~" Tamaki began as he stood up, rudely interrupting Dr. Yabu.

"Kyouya, please prepare a map with directions to the public school in the neighboring town for this person." Tamaki requested, pointing at Doctor Yabu.

"Very well." Kyouya complied.

Haruhi, Dr. Yabu, and I all looked stunned.

**

* * *

**

From the window, The Host Club and I waved at 's retreating form.

"You sure this is fine?" One of the twins asked with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Because. . .even if they meet, he's still given up on by his daughter." The other twin continued.

"I don't think so. . ." I muttered quietly with a smile, recalling how much Megumi seemed to love her parents, even if her dad did embarrass her and make her life hard at times.

"After all, that's something for him to ascertain himself." Tamaki stated, surprisingly thoughtful.

Haruhi gasped a bit as a white kite above the clock tower rose higher and higher in the sky.

"Excuse me, everybody. . ." Haruhi called a few minutes later.

"Could you get out please?" She finished a bit rudely.

The guys looked stunned, like they didn't realize that Haruhi needed to continue her physical examination.

"Haruhi? Are you still angry at me?" Tamaki exclaimed as he backed up a bit.

"Don't tell me you're going to quit the Host Club?" He questioned in disbelief.

"I have to continue my physical examination, right?" Haruhi questioned sweetly.

Looking back at the guys, she smiled and said "As a _male_ student."

Tamaki was shaking, it seemed as though he was going to cry - perhaps tears of joy?

"Ah, but I'm not doing this for the food." She added in reassurance.

"But because I want to repay my debt. . ." She finished with a smile.

A splash of pink coated Tamaki's cheeks quite suddenly.

That moment seemed content, or it _did_ until-

"Haruhi, you're too cute~!" Tamaki exclaimed, hugging her tightly.

"You just really want to eat Ootoro. . ." Tamaki said slyly, still hugging her.

Not that I cared or anything, though.

Tamaki can hug whoever he _wants_, honestly.

"-But that part of you that's hiding this fact is. . .kind of awesome!" Tamaki exclaimed over-dramatically as per usual.

"Please stop it!" Haruhi shrieked angrily.

"Ahh! Don't touch those places!" She ordered sternly.

"Give him the red card!" The twins snickered.

"This guy. . .!" I began, growing an anime vein.

"He's the _real_ pervert!" The twins finished.

"Who cares? Just. . . GET OUT!"


	4. Chapter 4: For Whatever Reason

"Tamaki-kun. . ."

"Tamaki-kun, why are you so_ beautiful_?"

"So that I can stay in your eyes as long as I can. . ."

"Tamaki-kun. . .~"

"Tamaki-kun, why is your voice so _mellow_?"

"So that my feelings may reach the depths of your heart. . ."

"Tamaki-kun. . .~"

"Tamaki-kun, why are you looking at me with such _watery_ eyes?"

"So that your fresh smiling face may flood the fountain of my heart. . ."

"**T **_**a**_** m **_**a**_** k **_**i - **_**k **_**u **_**n**_**. . .~"**_

Well, he certainly has an answer for everything, doesn't he?

Ha, let's see if he has an answer to this. . .

"Tamaki-kun. . ." I called softly, putting down my platter of teacups and such.

In response, the blonde turned his hopeful amethyst eyes in my direction.

"Tamaki-kun, why are you so. . ._corny_?"

Smirking as I heard his customers utter a gasp as if they were completely abashed with my actions, I picked up my platter and proceeded to the next table leaving a babbling blonde in my wake.

**

* * *

**

"You two _did_ wear the same kimonos after all!" Concluded one of the twins customers as she and her friend marveled at the symmetrical studs.

"All the kimonos you see today were designed by our mother. . ." The twin to the left called, subtly yet shamelessly advertizing his mother's works.

"If you wish, we're taking orders right now." The very same twin stated, almost nonchalantly.

"Our grandmother was the one who put them on for us, though." The other twin spoke up with a pleasant smile.

"And of course, it's my duty to take them off, _right_ Kaoru?" The other twin added, bringing his brother dangerously close.

"Hikaru. . ." Kaoru gasped in an inappropriate tone as he took the time to glance back at his customers expectantly.

"Saying that in front of everyone makes me embarrassed. . ." He continued, blushing slightly.

"Eek." Their customers squealed in excitement.

"Please, let us see! We must as ladies!" They sputtered out boldly.

I myself felt that even if I'd never admit it aloud. . .

I _had_ to agree with them xD

". . .Fooling around again." Haruhi stated from where she had suddenly appeared next to me.

"Haruhi-kun!" Her, um, _his_ customers called eagerly as they came to stand before us.

"Your kimono look is cute, too!" They complimented, thoroughly checking Haruhi out.

Isn't it rather funny that his customers are sort of under cover_ lesbians_?

It's like they're admiring how cute and feminine this boy is, when he's really a girl who chan barely even look the part of a freakin' male.

"You look just like a girl. . ." One of his customers sated, oblivious to the irony she had just made note of.

"Ah. . ." Haruhi said, not really having a response to that.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Doesn't he?" I agreed, handing the girls each a cup of tea.

"Haruhi, you've got designations. . ." Kyouya spoke up suddenly.

Haruhi and myself both glanced at the area in which Kyouya was seated calmly doing some sort of Calligraphy.

"Lately, your flow of designations has become steady, hasn't it?"

Well, _obviously_ -.-

Before Haruhi could answer Kyouya finished with a, "Keep it up~"

"I don't intend on asking you for the interest that was supposed to be included also, so work hard to make the money." Kyouya encouraged.

And just when you thought he was being nice. . .

"Don't take lightly the rental fee for that Kimono either, eh?"

"Is he an evil magistrate or _what_?" Haruhi whispered to me all _hush-hush _like.

"Ano, well they don't call him the Shadow King for nothing, eh?" I replied with a sweat-drop that matched Haruhi's perfectly.

"Kyouya-sama, your kimono look is so wonderful!" Two customers spouted in admiration.

"Has the new photo collection for the Host Club not come out yet?" One of the customers inquired.

"Unfortunately, there are no plans for that-" Kyouya began with a fake smile only to be interrupted.

"Isn't this club getting filthy rich. . ." The twins questioned curiosly as they peeked over the paper wall that separated them from Kyouya.

". . .From our merchandise?"

"Wasn't this club already _filthy _rich to begin with?" I asked with a cocked brow, only to be ignored.

"Well the merchandise itself is pathetic. . ." Kyoua replied hush-hushly, turning to face the twins.

Kyouya retrieved a few photos from his kimono sleeve that looked like they were taken by two year olds that had just had five pounds of sugar.

"While we call it a photo collection, they're nothing more than photos secretly taken by amateurs."

Deciding to continue, Kyouya said "In order for us to secure even more club funds from the Academy's budget, I must develop merchandise much higher in quality. . ."

And to no one's surprise, Kyouya now had a calculator out.

Haruhi looked to be thinking to herself, so I turned to look at Honey who was steadily walking towards us.

"Haru-chan, Haru-chan. . ." He called pitifully and I felt like going 'aww' despite myself.

"I lost one of my **zouri**.~" He said as tears began to swell up in his chocolate brown hues.

"Weren't you wearing them just now?" Haruhi replied, as she was the one who was being addressed.

"Mitsukuni. . ." Mori called, suddenly appearing right next to me.

Mori then walked forward and placed the previously missing zouri upon Honey's bare foot.

"Takashi. . .!" Honey murmured cutely, no longer crying.

"You dropped it over there. . ." Mori said, gesturing to some random location.

"_Takashiiiiiiiiiii_!" Honey wailed, leaping upon the stoic samurai with enthusiasm.

"How beautiful!" Two customers called, marveling at the scene.

"Oh, _so_ beautiful. . .!"

"Tear shedding acts sure are popular these day. . ." Haruhi denounced and I found myself thinking exactly the same thing.

"How does everyone cry so easily?" Haruhi pondered as she started to pace around in thought only to bump into a Hitachiin.

This would have been an event of little importance, _if _a bottle of tear drops hadn't of fallen from the Hitachiin's sleeve.

Stooping to pick up the aforementioned bottle, I found the answer to her question.

"Because of this. . .?" I offered coyly.

"Let me just say this first. . ." One of the twins said, no doubt in attempts to defend himself.

"Eye drops are common practice in host clubs." He said simply.

"Women are suckers for _tearful_ eyes." The other twin confirmed smartly.

"That's so **cheap**!" Haruhi stated.

"Don't be so strict now~" The same twin called, poking Haruhi on the cheek with his index finger.

"Here Haruhi, I'll give you this." The other twin said, presenting a pretty pink sweet to Haruhi.

I felt myself seething at the fact that Haruhi doesn't even _like_ sweets whereas I was a different story.

"You're giving this to me?" Haruhi stated rather than asked, rubbing salt in my jealous wound.

"Aww, how cute!" The twins replied.

"Haruhi-kun, you like Japanese sweets?" Two customers stated with hearts floating around them.

"No, not sweet things in general" Haruhi replied.

Hm, _told_ you so!

"But I thought this might be a good thing to offer on my mother's memento. . ." Haruhi answered rather emotionally.

I felt rather bad for being so jealous earlier as I thought about my own loved ones that I had lost.

The customers appeared sympathetic, as Tamaki poofed onto the scene.

"My, how **noble** of you~"

"Tha, filial pity of yours is wonderful too!" Tamaki declared, leaning into Haruhi's personal space bubble.

"Here Haruhi, take as many as you'd like. . ." Tamaki declared, piling sweet upon sweet into Haruhi's awaiting hands, thoroughly overdoing it.

"Are _those_ tears fake, too?" is all Haruhi could say.

"What are you talking about?" Tamaki shouted in dismay.

"My tears are always true and authentic. . .!" Tamaki said silkily.

Despite the situation, I found myself blushing at how handsome he looked.

"A true host can always shed a tear without resorting to eye drops. . ."

"Well what do you think? Impressed?" Tamaki asked Haruhi, like an eager puppy awaiting his master's praise.

"Fell for me once again?" Tamaki questioned cockily.

"Not really." Haruhi said, brushing him off.

"Somehow, my appeals don't work on Haruhi. . ." Tamaki stated as if it wasn't obvious.

"Maybe I should change my character a bit?" He inquired.

Haruhi turned her attention to a girl hiding around a corner, peeking out at our antics.

"Oh, aren't you a new face, our humble guest?" The twins called in excitement.

"What's the matter? Come on in!" One of the twins asked, presenting the girl with a rose from where they now stood before her.

"Just watching is boring." The other twin added in attempts at persuasion.

"Come~" They both called.

"Now there, I've always told you guys to be courteous to first timers~" Tamaki chided, now standing in front of the girl as well.

"Come, do not be afraid, _princess_~" Tamaki said with little doubt that the girl would not follow his orders.

And in fact, he failed to notice that the girl looked like she was about to have a nervous break down or something.

"Welcome to the Ouran Host Club!" Tamaki proclaimed.

"_N_-" The girl sputtered blandly.

"N?" Tamaki asked, drawing a blank.

_**SMACKKKK!**_

"No! Don't touch me, you phony!" And with that, Tamaki was sent flying backwards by Renge's smack to both hisface and his ego.

We all stood gasping at the girl who was so bold as to label our club's King as a phony.

After all, it was not often that anyone besides Haruhi, and on occasion me, has the audacity to insult our prince in such a way.

"Me, a p-_phony_?" Tamaki gasped in complete shock.

"I refuse to believe that you are like the prince of this club!" announced the girl.

Suddenly, soap opera music began thundering in the background in tune with the girl's onslaught of insults.

"A prince character does not spread his love so easily!" She pointed out as Tamaki looked frantic.

"Why do you look so much like a fool?" Renge questioned him.

"Well. . ." I began, only to stpo and gaze at the arrows that kept stabbing Tamaki.

"It's like you're just a dumb narcissist!" She declared and I felt that she had hit the nail on the head there.

"Incompetent!" She shouted as another arrow struck the blonde.

"Commoner!" She bellowed, now listing off random insults just for the heck of it.

Of course I was more mad at the fact that commoner was supposed to be an insult than the fact that this girl was insulting Tamaki.

"The WORST!" The girl announced as Tamaki was struck by lightening.

The rest of the host club and I watched now in a bored state as Tamaki displayed his new technique.

"Whoa. Is that a new technique?" One of the twins questioned in mild interest.

"_**S o l o-s l o w m o t i o n**_!" The twins declared in awe, needing something to entertain them.

As Tamaki fell to the floor in a thud, Kyouya decided to speak.

"Ah! Could you. . .be. . ." He began, no doubt trying to place a name to this girl's face.

The girl gasped, and allowed a few tears of joy to fly from her eyes.

"Kyouya-sama~!" She called in longing as she ran into the bespectacled boys arms.

"I wanted to see so dearly. . .the prince just for me."

For once, Kyouya looked to be without an explanation.

**

* * *

**

**.:: The Host Club is now closed ::.**

"_Fiancée_?"

"Kyouya-sempai's?"

With a nod, the strange girl who had had assaulted Tamaki decided to introduce herself.

"My name is Hoshakuji Renge. I shall be transferring into Class 1-A starting tomorrow."

In response to this, Tamaki had seated himself in his emo corner unbelievably fast.

"See? He's angry~" One of the twins decided to state the obvious.

"Because mommy hid a secret from daddy." The other twin pointed out humurously.

"Whatever you say, but do you guys plan on having that husband and wife setting become established?" Kyouya questioned, waving them off.

And to be honest, I wasn't sure what he meant by that statement :o

"It was quite the love at first sight experience!" Renge announced, popping up out of nowhere.

Suddenly a bubble appeared beside her head with a picture of a kind Kyouya tending flowers inside it.

"How he showed loving affection to the flowers in the backyard that no one would look at. . ."

The scene then changed to the kind Kyouya standing in the rain with little kitty licking his cheeks.

"And how he gently reached out his hand to the injured little kitty. . ."

"Who's this person?" The twins gestured blandly, pointing at the bubble.

"Did you take him for the wrong person?" Haruhi questioned with a cheerful smile.

Renge looked a bit angered as the bubble popped.

Hiding a particularly pointy pencil behind my back, I whistled as Renge snapped at Haruhi.

"No! My eyes _cannot_ be mistaken!"

"A person that nice to others, that never asked for anything in return. . ." Renge described as the twins decided to run around Kyouya in a circle whilst chorusing:

"Who? Who?"

"A person who loves solidarity, but who's really a loner. . ."

"From the love simulation game that makes your heart throb, **Ukidoki Memorial."**

Wait, _what_?

"Ichijou Miyabi, you look exactly like him!" Renge called pointing a slim finger at Kyouya.

"_Uki_" Haruhi began.

"-_Doki_?" Honey finished as Tamaki and the twins began babbling about Renge being an Otaku.

"I see. . ." Kyouya called.

"She's the type that goes 'moe' over a character. . ."

"And by setting her moe character onto me. . ."

"She's fantasized to the extent of fiancée?" I guessed, interrupting him.

Looking a bit annoyed, Kyouya turned to me.

"Yes, this Miyabi-kun must be an eyeglass character. . ." He replied.

I resisted the urge to snort at Kyouya's subtle ability to admit he was a Megane.

"Wait, _fantasize_?" Tamaki questioned as everyone was now surrounding Kyouya and myself.

"So this thing about you being her fiancée is. . .?" Tamaki asked, realization dawning upon him.

"I don't ever recall confirming that." Kyouya said, his tone laced with ice.

"To begin with, today's the first time I've ever met her." Kyouya confirmed as Tamaki and the twins sported sweat-drops.

A sign then appeared in front of Kyouya reading, 'Then _say_ so already.'

"Kyouya-sama. . ." Renge called after taking a dainty sip of her tea.

"According to my research, you manage every aspect of this club, correct?" Renge questioned.

"That's right, Kyo-chan is the boss." Honey answered cutely.

"The boss! That's so fitting of you!" Renge praised.

"My dream has always been to be the mascot girl for a store." Renge said.

"We don't need one, we're a _Host _Club" The twins pointed out hastily.

"I have decided~" Renge called, not paying the least bit of attention to what the twins had said.

"I shall become the manager of this Host Club!" Renge called.

Another sign appeared reading, '_She's not listening.'_

"Oi, Kyouya. . ." Tamaki called, obviously about to protest.

"She is the daughter of an important business partner of the Ootori family, I ask you to be courteous to her." Kyouya said simply.

In retaliation, Tamaki could do nothing but sigh.

"I look forward to working with all of you." Renge said pleasantly with a bow.

Then a third sign appeared that read,

**'For whatever reason, the birth of the female manager.'**


	5. Chapter 5: Twins

"It's the '_Which one is Hikaru_?' game!"

Whoop-de_-freaking_-do -_-

It was your average day in host club except for the fact that the twins had decided to entertain their customers with a game instead of their usual Yaoi act.

Of course, I failed to see the thrill in such a game and would have rather witnessed their guy on guy-ness, but to each his own I suppose.

As the twins switched places back and forth in order to confuse the customers, I dusted a few things with a feather duster as was my job.

"Well then, can you tell which one's Hikaru?" The twins questioned a bit smugly.

"Oh, that's so_ hard_. . ." One of the customers murmured as I snorted at how perverted that sounded.

"You two look so identical. . ." Another customer decided to state the obvious.

"So far, no one has been able to really tell who's who." The twins informed, still as smug as ever.

"What a worthless game." Haruhi dismissed as she strolled by.

The twins both placed a hand upon their hips, turning their attention to her.

"What? Is there something you don't like about it?" They questioned dryly.

"Actually, I still don't get why you two are so popular." Haruhi replied bluntly as she turned to face them.

"Oh, wow. _Burn._" I muttered, continuing with my dusting spree.

"Oh, that's something really nice to say." The twins replied dully as I noticed that this was not the first time they'd said this phrase.

"It really seems that Haruhi. . ." Began the twins appearing on either side of said girl.

"-Does not understand the benefits of us, the _twins_, being in the Host Club." declared the twin to the right of Haruhi.

"Listen, just the fact that we're both handsome and '_homo_' scores a lot of points." Elaborated the other twin.

"And while our act that swings between friendship and homo is favorable enough. . ." Continued the other Hitachiin.

"-In our case, we use the highest taboo of us being twins as our greatest weapon." Finished one of the twins as they embraced each other tightly.

Within moments however, they were surrounding a random customer.

"One top of that, this setup of also being loved simultaneously by these two tightly bonded twins is. . ." Drawled one of the twins as he got up close to the unsuspecting girl's face.

"A maiden's ultimate fantasy, right?" The other twin questioned, mirroring his brother's actions.

"Eh. . .Eh. . .me?" The poor girl managed to stutter out.

"I can't take it anymore!" Breathed the girl as a Chibi angel version of herself flew up into the sky.

"Oh no, you've _seduced_ her to death~" I uttered in a blank tone as the twins turned to glance at me for a moment with smirks plastered upon their faces, they then proceeded to turn their attention elsewhere.

Her friends squealed together as they radiated a ton of hearts.

Having nothing better to do, I amused myself with attacking the hearts with the feather duster.

Suddenly Tamaki ran up to us, looking like he'd concocted mad-cow disease or something.

"Hikaru! Kaoru!" he called furiously as he whipped out a laptop from nowhere in particular.

"I let you guys maintain the club's web-page under the condition that you guys would take it _seriously_, right?" Tamaki began, about ready to bite their head off.

"Yeah, and we are taking it seriously." One of the twins stated, the both of them looking completely unfazed.

"We were up until early in the morning yesterday." The other twin added rather defensively.

"And _this_ is the graphic you guys came up with?" Tamaki questioned, utterly infuriated.

We all crowded around the screen only to see a shirtless Haruhi with a background of red roses behind her, of course the picture was obviously photoshopped as it had an actual male torso attached to Haruhi's head.

"Haru-chan, you're so cool~" Honey appraised.

"He's so sexy!" Remarked one of the customers as they crowded around the computer as well.

I quickly took to batting away the hearts the customers radiated.

As Tamaki began going all omega dramatic upon the apathetic twins, he failed to realize that the picture was only a shop, not some odd result from the twins bribing Haruhi with Otoro in exchange for nude pictures. As the twins explained things to him, Tamaki suddenly whipped out a frilly pink dress thing.

"Why do you have one on hand?" Honey asked in curiosity.

Quirking an eyebrow, I wondered the same.

Tamaki tried to persuade Haruhi to wear the pink dress, but she responded with a chilling glare.

"Please stop that." Haruhi ordered as she looked directly at the twins.

"Making shopped images like that without permission. . ." She muttered a bit perturbed at the identical ginger kids.

"What am I exactly?" She asked with a sigh.

"That's obvious." The twins stated with devilish grins.

"Our_ toy_."

**

* * *

**

"And so. . ."

"To enjoy your boring life as much as you can. . ."

"-Exciting toys are required." The twins explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I am **not **a toy." Haruhi protested.

"Toy." A voice whispered as we all glanced around in search of who had spoken.

"Toy, Toy~" The voice repeated as everyone turned their attention to an ominous looking pair of doors that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"If you like toys, then come to my club." The voice stated in a persuasive tone as a shadowy figure holding a candelabra began to emerge from the door.

"The _Black Magic_ Club. . ." Explained the stranger.

"The world's Black Magic Item Market is now being held. . .~" Continued the stranger.

"We also have Mass going on all of the time." Informed the stranger as Tamaki tensed.

"Come now, and everyone will get a lovely voodoo doll, Belzeneff as a present." The stranger bribed as he almost completely emerged from the double doors.

He then proceeded to hold up a cute looking cat puppet.

As I took a step closer towards the stranger, Haruhi spoke.

"Why are you talking from that small opening?"

"And. . .were those doors here before?" Questioned the twins skeptically.

"Nekozawa-sempai doesn't like places that are brigh.t" Kyouya concluded as he walked up to us.

"Nekozawa-sempai?" I questioned curiously, taking another step towards the door.

"You should stay away from that person." A voice breathed from behind me so suddenly that I jumped.

Glancing behind me, I noticed Tamaki with a serious expression.

"If either of you are connected to him in any way. . ." Began Tamaki looking at Haruhi and myself.

"Without exception, you'll get _cursed._" he warned.

"On what grounds do you say that?" Haruhi inquired.

"Yes, it was during last years final exams. . ." Tamaki began in a foreboding tone of voice.

Tamaki then went into flashback mode as he told everyone about his strange encounter with Nekozawa-sempai and how upon stepping on Bereznoff he ended up having freaky things happen to him.

Everyone was enticed with his tale. . ._until_ Kyouya told us what really happened.

Apparently, the foolish prince had taken a test in a Greek class that he wasn't even supposed to be in.

Tamaki then tried to reason with Kyouya, but Kyouya dismissed his reasoning with the truth once again.

"The power of this voodoo doll, Belzeneff, is authentic." Stated Nekozawa-sempai.

"If you write the name of the person you hate upon the back of this doll then that person will suffer much misfortune." Explained Nekozawa-sempai.

Suddenly, the twins pointed a pair of flashlights upon the unsuspecting Black Magic Club President.

As a result, he screeched and clutched onto Tamaki who also screeched and then, Nekozawa-sempai ran away.

"MURDERERS!" He accused on his way out.

The twins looked blandly at the ominous double doors as Tamaki started freaking out.

He was ignored as the twins took a seat next to the window.

"Ahh, it's boring." One of them said dully.

"Isn't there something interesting out there?" Questioned the other twin in monotone.

Within moments, Tamaki was once again in his Emo Corner.

Feeling a bit evil at the moment, I sat the duster down and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

Haruhi cocked a brow at me and then sweat-dropped at the Prince Type's behavior.

"What exactly are you doing?" Haruhi questioned as I shrugged in response.

The twins then asked for her attention as I scribbled something down upon the paper and then walked towards Tamaki.

Tamaki glanced up at me, no doubt vying for some sympathy but all he got was a lopsided grin.

I placed the piece of paper against the wall and secured it with a piece of tape.

"Nani? What does that say?" Tamaki questioned curiously, pointing at the paper.

I chuckled as I realized that being moderately fluent in the English language had its perks.

Before I was able to actually reply, Tamaki was out of his Emo Corner in a flash.

He then began to make some long winded speech about greeting Haruhi's parents only to be shot down by Haruhi.

"Definitely _no_." She ordered in aggravation.

"Then, let's do this!" The twins stated, uncharacteristically dramatic as they got into position to play the _Which one is Hikaru_? game.

"If you guess wrong at the _Which one is Hikaru_? game, then we're going to visit your house as a penalty." The twins stated in unison.

After switching places a few times, they shouted "Which one is Hikaru?"

"This one's Kaoru, and this one's Hikaru." Haruhi announced confidently.

Apparently, Kaoru was left and Hikaru was right.

"You're wrong." The twins called smugly.

"I'm _not_ wrong." Was Haruhi's simple response.

"You two are different, even though you look the same." Haruhi added and I felt a bit lame not being able to tell any real difference between the two.

The twins blinked, both of them looking absolutely stunned.

They were unable to say anything more as one of the customers caught Haruhi's attention.

The customer proclaimed that the only way she was able to tell who was who was based on how the twins parted their hair, and then another customer questioned Haruhi about how she was able to tell who was who.

"Hmm, well let's see. . ." Haruhi said as she paused to think about it.

"If I had to say, Hikaru's actions are one level meaner than Kaoru's." She stated, raising her index finger in the air.

So basically, Hikaru was the naughtier twin. . . XD

Of course Haruhi had no ill intentions, but regardless of that fact one of the twins attempted to smother a laugh.

"G-Gomen, Hikaru." Said the very same twin who was obviously Kaoru.

He then broke out laughing as Hikaru looked a bit annoyed.

"Hey, I'm just being sincere and saying what I want without hesitation." Came Hikaru's attempt to defend himself.

"-And in fact, Kaoru's the one that's more ill-mannered" Hikaru insulted, resulting in the end of Kaoru's laughter.

"Don't go around saying whatever you like." Kaoru chided.

"_I'm_ the one who has to deal with your selfishness all of the time." Kaoru continued.

"I may be the one that brought this up, but you're the one that's digging a deeper hole." Remarked Hikaru.

"Don't like it? Then stop." Kaoru ordered, narrowing his eyes.

"Are you stupid or something?" Hikaru asked rudely.

"That's because I couldn't help but see you being dumber." Was Kaoru's nasty retort.

"Besides, even though you call Haruhi a toy. . .you always make a pass at her whenever you get the chance." Kaoru revealed.

"Hikaru, you actually like Haruhi, don't you?" Kaoru questioned.

"_Huh_?" "Nani?" Were Hikaru and Tamaki's flustered responses.

"W-What are you misunderstanding here?" Began Hikaru uneasily.

"You really are an idiot, Kaoru." He continued.

"Yeah, there are things you should and shouldn't say in this world!" Interrupted Tamaki like it was any of his business in the first place.

"Besides, why would I like a short fox like Haruhi?" Hikaru inquired angrilly.

"How dare you call Haruhi a short fox!" Interrupted Tamaki once again.

Just as Tamaki was about to assault the twins, there was yet another interruption.

"Beautiful! This is **beautiful**!" Marveled Renge as she rose from the floor.

"A beautiful, yet painful, four-sided relationship revolving around Haruhi~" narrated Renge.

"And two of them are twins! What a predicament-like development! Renge could eat three whole rice-bowls of this!" Renge exclaimed as we stared at her.

"Get lost, you Otaku~" Stated the twins in frustration.

"How could you? How _could_ you?" Renge wailed.

"How could you say that to the manager?" She exclaimed over-dramatically.

"Renge-kun, I thought you _liked_ Haruhi." Tamaki asked hesitantly.

"That's a separate thing." Renge began, suddenly in a much better mood.

"Having a different stomach for this kind of relationship is common sense these days." Continued Renge.

Tamaki sweat-dropped.

"And. . .didn't you return to France?" Haruhi questioned suddenly.

"Well, I tried finding a Host Club in France, but it wasn't received well because it's too early for them." Explained Renge cheerfully.

"I've had it with you!" Called one of the twins as we all turned to stare at them in shock.

"Always sneaking into my bed. . .." Began the very same twin as I felt a nose-bleed coming on.

"That's very annoying." Continued the twin.

"I slept with you because you looked so helplessly lonely, you idiot!" Retorted the other twin.

I pinched my nose in a precautionary manner, feeling the blood rush to my poor nostrils.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" Asked the other twin quite lividly.

"You're worse than me in math" Continued the twin.

"Look who's talking! _You_ should study Japanese more!" Came the other twin's reply.

"You obnoxiously noisy person!" Concluded the the opposing twin.

"Who's the one with the bad sleeping form, the one that always falls off the bed?" The other twin shouted.

"Erotic Imp!"

"Pervert!"

"At least I'm better than you!" Came the twins retorts, they were talking so rapidly that I was unable to keep up with the argument.

"I'm not talking to you any more!" both twins shouted as lightning struck.

**

* * *

**

**.:: The Following Day/Lunch Time ::.**

"I thought it was unusually noisy in here." Tamaki stated as he threw open the cafeteria doors quite dramatically.

"You two are still fighting?" Tamaki asked sadly as Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi turned to look at us.

Sheesh, they looked a sight.

Well the twins did at least.

It seems that in their attempt to be different from each other. . .they died their hair.

One of the twins hair was a vibrant blue and the other's a flamingo pink.

"You guys are a disgrace to the Host Club." Tamaki stated with a sigh.

"It's the Host Club. . ." Stated some random guy as the girls swooned at my club-mates.

"The _entire _Host Club is here!" One girl remarked as it was unusual for all of us to be in the cafeteria at the same time.

Suddenly Honey sprung up with an adorable pink bunny paddle as he attempted to halt the twin's tiff.

"Double punishment for fighting~!" He said cutely.

As he stood between the feuding fellows, he held up a small cake.

"Hika-chan and Kao-chan will each have half of this cake and make up with each other!" Honey exclaimed.

"Ne?" He finished with a grin.

Not moments after did he start to think about his own tummy.

"Ah, but _I_ want to eat some too~" Honey stated.

"So, we'll have to split it in three. . .the strawberry you can't divide, so what will we do?" Honey inquired curiously.

"Can I have it? Since I like strawberries, that's okay, ne? Ah, demo. . .Hika-chan, Kao-chan, do you like strawberries?" Honey rambled, oblivious to the twins rising irritation.

Mori luckily swooped in at the nick of time as he picked Honey up and sat him somewhere farther away from the twins.

As he lectured Honey, Tamaki zoomed over to Haruhi.

"Oi! Haruhi. . ." Began the blonde sweetly.

"It's so rare that we meet in the cafeteria. . ." He stated.

"I was worried about these two, so I ended up tagging along with them to the cafeteria." Haruhi uttered.

"I wanted to eat in the classroom because I have a Bento, though." Haruhi stated a bit sadly.

"_Bento_?" Tamaki questioned as he then began to babble about embarrassing heart shaped Obentos boxes.

"While I have no clue what you're saying, I have decided that your imagination has no coherence whatsoever." Stated Kyouya smartly as he obtained his lunch.

Pulling out my lunch, a brown paper bag full to the brim with Melonpan and a soda, I began to eat.

"Can I sit here?" I heard someone ask.

Glancing to my left with a Melonpan hanging from my mouth, I shrugged.

Apparently, the blue haired twin wanted to set next to me or Haruhi because he took the seat between her and myself.

Somehow, lunch developed into a food fight situation as I found myself leaving with Haruhi to go eat in an empty classroom.

**

* * *

**

It was not longer after the lunch incident that I found myself seated at a large table within the Third Music Room.

Kyouya and Tamaki were discussing how the twins fight might result in the inability to sell _'Brotherly Love' _any longer.

Then after Kyouya basically blamed Haruhi for the fight, Honey told us all about how this was the first fight the twins had ever had.

Tamaki then gave his input about how this fight might be good for the twins because their once small world was now getting wider.

Haruhi then made a good point, "But, if it's their first fight. . .doesn't that make it important for someone to be there and tell them when to stop?"

I felt that I could sort of agree with her, so I decided to speak after she trailed off.

"If they've never been in a fight before, then they probably have no clue how to make up right?" I asked quietly.

**

* * *

**

Due to the twins fight, the Host Club was on a temporary hiatus.

This proved to be a good thing, though, because who knows how many customers might have been caught in the crossfire?

_**Poi! Poi! Poi! Poi! Poi! Poi! Poi!**_

Came the sound of the twins throwing junk at one another.

"Even after this much fighting, you two still aren't satisfied?" Tamaki asked in aggravation.

"You troublesome siblings!" Tamaki stated.

"Troublesome, you say?" Questioned the pink haired twin.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Continued the same twin.

"I'm the troubled one, having the same face as Kaoru's. . ." Said the twin with disgust.

"I'm tired of being mistaken for you, and the truth is. . .I really **h a t e **you." Finished Hikaru meanly.

"That's my line. Look, the Voodoo Doll I bought from Nekozawa-sempai, Belzeneff." Started Kaoru.

Kaoru then flashed Belzeneff at us as Tamaki looked mortified.

"I'll write your name on the back of this doll." Said Kaoru to Hikaru as I found myself wondering if _he_ was evil twin instead of Hikaru.

"From now on you'll be hit with lots of misfortune and tragedies. . ." Called Kaoru as he scribbled upon the back of Belzeneff.

Haruhi seethed as she ran forward and hit each twin on the head.

"Enough already!" She shouted seizing Bereznoff from Kaoru.

"Don't bring something like this into a trivial fight! Both of you are at fault in this, and what's worse is that you're troubling everyone around you as well!" Scolded Haruhi.

"Make up with each other already!" She ordered in frustration.

"If you don't make up right now, I'll _never_ let you guys visit my home." She said, her tone full of anger.

The twins looked shocked for a moment until identical smirks slithered upon their lips.

Haruhi could only blink at them in confusion.

"So if we make up, can we go to your home?" Asked the twins slyly.

The twins then proceeded to stand in a chummy position behind Haruhi.

Curious about the Belzeneff, I walked over to them.

Just as I had come to a stop next to my female friend, she flipped Belzeneff over not to reveal Hikaru's name, but the word '**Fail**'.

Haruhi let out a shout at this development as the twins '_made up'._

The Host Club all went berzerk as Belzeneff crashed to the ground.

Honey exclaimed, "What this was a_ fake _fight?" in utter disbelief as Haruhi, Tamaki, and I Anime-fell.

As the twins began cheering, Haruhi complained about being had.

"Twins with time on their hands. . ." Started Tamaki weakly.

"Are devils."

**

* * *

**

"All right, bring it on!" I challenged with a smirk.

"Right! Now it's time for the _Which one is Hikaru_? game!" the twins called standing directly in front of me.

"Umm. . .the pink haired one is Hikaru-kun?" stated a customer before I got the chance to.

"_Bingo_!" The twins cheered as they gave her the thumbs up.

I quirked a brow in response.

Honestly, I had been observing the twins for awhile now, determined to tell them apart, and as a result I felt like they were lying through their teeth.

"She's not _really _right, is she?" I asked hesitantly.

Before the twins could even spare a glance at me, another customer decided to speak.

"Your hair colors remain the same even after you've made up, huh?" She asked with a smile.

"But I'm happy that it's easy for us to tell now." The same girl continued.

Then Haruhi decided to stroll casually past me.

"Haruhi, _Hikaru'_s in the blue this time, right?" I asked her since the other two decided to not pay attention to me.

"Hai." She replied blandly.

The twins turned to us, shock etched upon their faces.

"Heh! I've been paying close attention to you two in order to tell you apart. And in fact, Hikaru is the meaner one. So you two switched colors today, ne?" I replied cheerfully, feeling rather proud of myself upon being able to tell the twins apart for the very first time.

As Haruhi smiled lightly and continued on her way, I went off to chat with Honey.

Thus, I was completely unaware of the twins conversation.

"Have you noticed, Hikaru?" Kaoru questioned quietly.

"The world until now has been either our world or everything _outside_ of our world." Kaoru continued.

"For the very first time, intruder_s_ have appeared.~"


	6. Chapter 6: The Naughty Type

"Do I honestly _have_ to wear this?"

"Hai! Now get into position, Mimi-chan. The door's opening!"

"Okay, _Okay_. . ."

"_**Irashimasen**_~"

"Why's a little boy here?" I murmured as I looked at the aforementioned little boy.

"What's wrong little lost one? What brings you here to my palace?" Tamaki questioned politely as the little boy fell backwards, no doubt taken by surprise.

Today the Host Club's theme was Arabian and Tamaki was impersonating an Arabian king.

"Y-You're the King here?" Questioned the little boy as he quickly got to his feet.

When Tamaki didn't reply the little boy asked a different question, "Y-You're _not_?"

"Come forward, little lost one." Tamaki beckoned.

"What did you call me just now?" Tamaki asked a bit smugly.

"King." The boy replied simply as he walked a few steps forward.

"Ohh, **King**!" Tamaki wailed as he stood up.

"That's right, I'm the Host Club's King!" Tamaki said, his ego running wild as he twirled about.

As Tamaki was usually not addressed as such, this little boy had just made his day.

"Elementary school Class 5-A, Takaoji Shiro!" Introduced the little boy in a serious tone.

Tamaki blinked in surprise at the formality.

"I am here to ask the Host Club King to take me on as an apprentice!" Stated the little boy as he pointed to Tamaki.

The rest of the Host Club couldn't believe their ears as Tamaki looked completely flattered.

I sighed, not wanting to think about the fresh Hell that this predicament would be.

**

* * *

**

"Oh my, Tamaki-kun's _apprentice_?" Questioned a customer to our 'King'.

"Yes, whilst he's still an elementary student, his eyes tell me he's good material." Tamaki elaborated.

"Will a little boy like him be able to carry out a Host's job?" The very same customer inquired.

I think a better question is, why would a little boy _want_ to carry out a Host's job?

"Age does not matter in romance." Tamaki replied as he caressed the customers chin.

"No, if you were to make love to me sincerely. . ." Began Tamaki to the girl as I fumed.

"My heart would beat so fast before you that I'd revert into a young child at any time." Tamaki said sweetly.

If the subject they were talking about wasn't inappropriate enough, Shiro was sitting at the very same table observing them.

"Isn't it difficult to let him observe from that distance?" Haruhi questioned skeptically.

"He's always been a strong advocate of the saying that people are perceived to be more beautiful the closer they are viewed." Kyouya retorted.

"Anyway, just let them be." He said as he took to writing on his clipboard.

"O', naughty person who let me taste the forbidden fruit. . .you are like a mermaid princess who has brought me light unto a sea called solitude." Tamaki charmed, caressing the customer's face.

"Me. . .a Mermaid _Princess_?" Questioned the girl.

"Heck, you look more like the Carp in my pond." Shiro interrupted rudely as I snorted in laughter.

"I'm not going to give compliments that are this blatant." he continued.

"Carp. . .?" questioned the girl as she began to cry; Tamaki hurriedly attempted to cheer her up.

"It's just a kid saying this, and you know kids are frank. . ." Tamaki said, offending her without intending to.

"Frank. . .?" cried the girl as she sniffled.

"Ahh. But that doesn't mean you are a Carp!" Tamaki said immediately after.

The girl looked to be cheering up until she heard what Tamaki had to say next.

"Even if you are a Carp, you're a beautiful ca-"

"So I _am_ a carp!" The girl wailed.

"N-No that's not what I. . ." Tamaki started to say, obviously in deep trouble with his client.

"Tamaki-kun, you idiot!" The girl said as she ran off.

"Wait, my Mermaid Princess!" Said Tamaki.

"Quit crying, crybaby~" Said Shiro dryly.

For some reason, I felt as if I was beginning to like this kid.

Tamaki gritted his teeth as the twins decided to intervene.

"It's great that you have a new cute baby brother, Tono!" Hikaru said.

Yes, _Hikaru_ said, because I can tell them apart now and all :D

"Hikaru, would you have preferred a brother like him. . .?" Kaoru asked sadly.

"You idiot. . .!" Began Hikaru as he pulled his brother into an X-rated embrace.

"Even if I searched all over the world, I would _never_ find a better brother than you, Kaoru." He finished.

"Hikaru. . .~" Kaoru murmured as fangirls screamed.

Growing an anime vein, I pulled out my feather duster and took to getting rid of those ridiculous hearts once more.

"It's the forbidden brotherly love. . .!" Cheered a girl.

"_Homos_?" Exclaimed Shiro as he clutched his shirt.

"And they're twins. . .so this is the so called '_Kinkanyoukan_'?" asked the little boy in fear.

"You mean, _'Kinshinsoukan'?" _Tamaki questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

The little boy looked startled as Honey then attacked him in a hug.

"Shiro-chan~! Wanna eat cakey together?"

Shiro looked disgruntled as the small Haninozuka clung to his back.

"So, I've got chocolate cakey and strawberry cakey. . .~"

"Get lost!" Shiro commanded, shoving Honey off his back.

"What grade are you in, anyway? Why are you wearing a high school student's uniform?" Shiro questioned in annoyance as Honey looked shocked.

"What's wrong, Mitsukuni?" Mori asked appearing behind the two vertically challenged boys.

Shiro gasped.

"Not Fair! You've got this old of a buddy?" he exclaimed as Honey climbed up Mori's back.

Honey started crying because he wasn't a Grade Schooler, but a genuine Senior in High School.

Shiro began to back away from them, thus bumping into Haruhi who almost spilt the tea she was carrying.

"Ahh, you're surprised because of all the weirdos here?" Haruhi asked with a smile.

"Oi! I_'m_ not a weirdo!" I exclaimed coming to stand in front of them.

"Right, gomen." Haruhi apologized with a smile.

I took the tray of tea from her gently as she talked to Shiro.

"I also had a hard time understanding the atmosphere here, and was quite confused at first. . ."

I'd like to point out that I'm still confused about this place at times.

As Haruhi continued smiling at him, Shiro looked to be thinking something over.

_'This guy. . .is like a girl.' _He thought staring at Haruhi.

As I adjusted my glasses he turned to stare at me as well.

_'And this girl. . .is like a __**nerd**__.'_

"Hm?" Haruhi asked, staring at Shiro.

"Are you an Okama?" Shiro questioned bluntly.

Tamaki and the twins then leapt to Haruhi's defence.

"Ah. We'll take care of things here~!" Tamaki said, placing his hands over Shiro's eyes.

"So Mimi-chan, could you bring tea around?" Tamaki said, turning to look at me.

"Sure." I said as I began to walk off.

"Haruhi's really manly." The twins said, patting Haruhi on the back.

"Okay, _manly_ Haruhi?" asked Kaoru.

"Oi! Maid-san, let Shiro take care of the tea set. It's part of his training." Hikaru said as I walked back over to them.

Haruhi's face blanched as Shiro removed Tamaki's fingers from his face.

"Um, it's heavy. . .so be careful, alright?" I requested handing Shiro the tea tray.

As soon as I let go of it, Shiro let it crash to the ground.

"Please don't let that be taken from my debt. . ." I muttered with a sigh.

"This isn't my fault, okay?" Shiro asked.

"It's _your_ fault for making me do this." He replied staring up at me.

"Why you little-" I began angrily as my hand itched.

"Haruhi, Mimi-chan, another 50,000 yen shall be added to your debts." Kyouya added appearing all of the sudden.

"Damn it. . .!" I cursed as Haruhi exclaimed, "HUH?"

"Hey, let the Okama or the hired help take care of the trivial chores." Shiro said to Tamaki as I got a bit angrier as being referred to as '_the hired help'_.

Seriously, I don't get **paid** for this. x[

"So instead, hurry up and teach me how to please women." Shiro said, his tone full of frustration.

"What's with your attitude?" Mumbled Tamaki.

"On top of that I can't forgive you for speaking so rudely to Haruhi and Mimi-chan." Tamaki added, his face twitching in an odd manor.

"Quarantine this _scoundrel_!" Ordered Tamaki as he pointed at finger at Shiro.

"Yes, Sir!" The twins ordered as a cage fell on Shiro, imprisoning him.

"What the Hell is this?" asked the little boy angrily.

"Why did a steel cage drop on me?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, aren't there laws against this?" I asked nervously.

"This is the _Music Room, _right?" Haruhi asked, eager to know why a music room would have a large steal cage at the ready.

"Damn it! Let me out! Is this something you do to your cute little apprentice?" Asked Shiro, throwing a tantrum.

"Stay in there until you're calmer. . ." Tamaki ordered calmly as I poured him some tea.

"I made you my apprentice because you really wanted to become a Host, but I guess I was wrong about you." Tamaki called in disappointment.

"I'm serious, _really,_ **totally** serious!" Pleaded the boy.

In response Tamaki ignored him and took a sip of tea.

"I want to be a Host, too!" He said sadly as I felt sympathetic for the boy.

Whatever reason he had for wanting to become a Host must be quite important.

Shiro fell to his knees and looked to be on the brink of tears.

"I don't have much time left. . ." He trailed off.

"Teach me. . .~" He begged.

"You like girls. . .You like to see girls happy, that's why you're a Host right?" Tamaki glanced at him.

"I beg you, please teach me!" Shiro said rather pitifully.

"You're a genius at this right, King?" He added in frustration.

Upon hearing the word 'genius', Tamaki snapped to attention.

"Well, you may be impertinent. . .but your desire to become a Host seems sincere. Plus, you somewhat resemble me. . .~" Tamaki finished in a narcissistic tone.

"Poor boy. . ." Haruhi and I added in unintended unison.

"Then, you'll make me a Host that can please girls?" Shiro asked joviously.

"Someone who cannot please ladies, cannot be called a Host." Tamaki stated.

"Very well, if you're going to go that far, then think about how you could make good use of your qualities." Tamaki instructed.

"Qualities?" Shiro asked blankly.

"Our Ouran Host Club makes use of our individual features." Kyouya replied.

"And answers our customers' needs as a basic strategy." He continued.

"Starting with our Prince type, Tamaki." Said Kyouya.

"Then we have the Wild Type, the Loli-shota type, the Little Devil type, and the cool type among the many variations we pride ourselves of." Kyouya included as the corresponding Host club members came to stand in front of the cage.

"Then, the honor student and natural rookie, Haruhi, joined us." Added Kyouya.

As Haruhi was all like, "_What_? I'm the natural type?" she too came to stand in front of the cage leaving me off alone to the side.

"So our formation is now pretty much perfect." Kyouya elaborated.

"I wonder, will we find more types?" Kyouya questioned.

Shiro looked scared as Hikaru spoke, "Age wise it'd be the Shota type. . ."

"But then he'd overlap with Honey sempai!" Kaoru interjected as Honey sniffled.

"Am I a nuisance already?" He queried quite sadly.

"No, of _course_ not-" I began, walking over to him.

"Not good enough! Not good enough, I say!" Came Renge's distinct voice.

She then began to rise from the floor with that high-powered motor of her's.

"Like I said, this is a music room right?" Haruhi snorted.

"I never realized that you Host Club members were this poor in analyzing characters. . ." Renge said, seeming utterly unhappy with all of us.

"I'm quite disappointed." She continued smugly.

"Well then, Renge-kun, how would you bring out his qualities?" Questioned Tamaki, earnestly curious.

"Honey-sempai already owns the Loli-shota type department." He continued, indicating to Honey who looked like a puppy who had been kicked.

"And that's where you're not good enough!" Renge replied, startling the blondes.

"Listen to me!" she began.

"While it's true that we call girls who experience an unexplainable longing for younger boys or baby faces "_shotacon_" lovers, this kind of categorization is quite sloppy." Renge continued.

"Different preferences require even more delicate categorization. Yes, while Haninozuka-sempai is over the more royal road, "_Loli-Shota type_". In his case, the direction he should aim for. . ." Began Renge who was now talking about Shiro.

"-Has to be the _Naughty_ type!" She concluded.

"_Naughty type_?" repeated Shiro.

The cage was lifted from over Shiro as Renge blew a whistle.

"The basics to being a naughty type, is that you must always wear half-trousers, okay?" Renge said, confirming Shiro's half-trouser pants.

"You must show your naughtiness with injuries on your knees and cheeks." Renge continued as the twins took care of bandaging and making false injuries on Shiro.

"Run in a naughty way!" Renge added, once again blowing the whistle as Shiro ran.

"Run recklessly!" She proclaimed with another blow of the whistle.

"Then make a spectacular fall there. . .!" She concluded as Shiro tripped over a rope.

"Are you okay, little boy?" She questioned, suddenly kneeling beside him.

"Okay, and promptly say your line!"

"No, it's nothing. . ." Came Shiro's line as he rubbed his cheek.

Renge gasped overdramatically.

"Perfect! It's _perfect_!" she exclaimed.

"How wonderful~" Replied Tamaki as he clapped for her.

Suddenly, we were all surrounding Renge and Shiro.

"Your instructions are flawless, Renge-kun." Tamaki added in awe.

"_OHOHOHO_!" Came Renge's flattered response.

"Idiots! These people are idiots!" Shiro muttered.

"Forget it, already!" He ordered.

"There's no way _she_'d become happy from this." Shiro said sadly.

So he's trying to impress a specific girl, hm?

"_She_?" Haruhi questioned.

Shiro ran off as Tamaki attempted to stop him.

"Ah, wait, Shiro! You still have more application techniques to learn now!" Tamaki called.

"Young ones are not good enough yet, I suppose. . ." Renge noted with a shake of her head.

She then left via high-powered motor.

"After all my coaching, he doesn't want to go on. . ." She sighed out.

"We even gave him a lesson, and he didn't like it! What a selfish kid." Tamaki said.

"People normally wouldn't like something like that." Haruhi stated.

"By the way, did you notice?" Haruhi began as Tamaki turned to look at her.

"Hmm?" Tamaki replied.

"He said, '_she_'. So he wants to impress one girl rather than multitudes of them." I elaborated.

"That, and I wonder what he meant by _'not having much time left.'_" Haruhi said curiously.

"Hmm. . ." Came Tamaki's one word response.

**

* * *

**

"Why did it end up like _this_?" Haruhi asked me.

"Who knows?" I replied with a shrug.

"We have successfully infiltrated the building!" Honey whispered.

"This way they'll see me as an Elementary Student, so it'll be fine, right, Haru-chan, Mimi-chan?" Honey inquired, his voice still quiet.

"Indeed, I do understand the logic of dressing up like an Elementary School student in order to infiltrate an Elementary School building, and it suits you very well Honey-sempai. . ." Began Haruhi.

"But _why_ did Mimi-chan and I have to dress up as Middle School students?" Haruhi added, glancing down at our Middle School uniforms.

"Really, what's the sense in us tagging along like this?" I replied, crossing my arms over my chest.

Honey was in the very same uniform that Shiro had worn while Haruhi and I were dressed in Ouran Middle School's female uniform.

Haruhi had a brown wig on making her look quite adorable, but I had my hair down in pigtails because the twins hand insisted upon it.

Also, I'd like to add that the Middle School uniform is loads more bearable than the High School one.

"Is there some meaning to us wearing these conspicuous disguise?" Haruhi questioned as the little Elementary kids stared at us weirdly.

"Of course there is. There is _tremendous_ meaning to it!" Tamaki called as the double doors behind us creaked open.

Ignoring them, I allowed Honey to link arms with me and drag me off.

"Haru-chan, Mimi-chan, that way!" Honey called cheerfully as Haruhi and myself complied.

"This is Shiro-chan's classroom." Honey told us as we snuck into the room.

"I was also in this classroom when I was in Elementary School." Honey said with a smile.

"No one's here, huh?" Haruhi questioned, placing a hand upon the desk.

"What? No one's here?" Tamaki called.

"How nostalgic." The twins replied as the rest of the Host Club randomly waltzed in.

"I wonder if my doodles are still on the desks. . .?" Hikaru proposed dryly.

"Our school desks are replaced with new ones each year." Kyouya explained in response.

"Let's head to the cafeteria later." Kaoru suggested.

I noticed that Haruhi was seething at the fact that the Hosts had made us go through the trouble of disguises and sneaking in when they just walked in nonchalantly.

"If you all come here, what's the point of having us wear disguises and infiltrate the school?" Haruhi whispered, a tad livid.

"It's okay, I mean it's not like anyone is here." Hikaru retorted.

At the sound of footsteps, we all sunk to the floor.

"If the teacher finds us. . ." Kaoru began.

"Coming up with an excuse would be troublesome" Hikaru remarked.

"Shh! _Quiet_!" I stated in a whisper, feeling like a Librarian of some sort.

"Zip your lips~" Haruhi replied, giving them a demonstration.

"Ooh! Then lock and throw away the key!" I quipped, still in a whisper voice-level as I pretended to lock my mouth shut and toss the key over my shoulder.

The twins and Tamaki did as Haruhi and myself said with bright red faces.

Moments later, Haruhi went to see if the teacher had passed and told us that the coast was clear.

"But even if we infiltrate the building, how are we supposed to find Shiro?" I reasoned as we all stood from our hiding spots.

"There's something interesting over here." Kyouya called suddenly as we looked in his direction.

"What is it?" Haruhi asked as we walked over to him. Kyouya then pointed to a picture of Shiro playing the piano with an adorable little girl sitting beside him.

"Shiro-kun?" Haruhi inquired.

"The Classical Music Club, _eh_?" Kyouya questioned.

"He looks happy there." I stated, glancing at Shiro's smiling face.

"This is the expression Shiro-kun smiles with, huh?" Haruhi asked.

"Ahh. . .~" Came Tamaki's response

"Look, there he is!" Honey called as we stared through the window at him.

"It's Shiro-chan!" Honey continued.

Shiro was looking out the window when the girl from the picture approached him.

"Takaoji-kun~" She called sweetly.

Shiro glanced at her, she had her hair in pigtails similar to mine and was clutching a book or folder to her chest.

"Have you practiced the new Piano part?" She questioned with a smile.

"No, not much." He replied quite stiffly.

"Then. . .I'll teach you." She said in response.

"So let's play together." She finished as I smiled at them.

"It's okay." Shiro replied.

"I don't. . ." He began, no doubt looking for an excuse.

"There's only one Grand Piano, you use it, Kamishiro." he stated.

The girl looked sad for a moment, but then smiled.

"Okay!" she chirped.

"Then tell me when you feel like playing." She called, walking over to the Piano.

The girl, Kamishiro, began to play a cheerful uplifting tone as Shiro closed his eyes, contently listening to her.

figured it was Mozart's Sonata for a duet, but I wasn't sure.

Tamaki then caught the attention of some little girl exiting a room, he sweet talked her in order to get information.

"Kamishiro Hina-chan?" Questioned the little girl after Tamaki had asked her about Shiro's friend.

"Hina-chan, eh?" Replied Tamaki.

"No, it won't do you good if you fall in love with Hina-chan." The little girl replied.

"Eh?" Tamaki asked.

"You know, Hina-chan's going to move soon." She informed.

"Hina-chan will be moving to Germany next week, due to her dad's job." The little girl continued.

"What are you doing?" Came Shiro's angry voice as we turned our attention to him.

"What are you doing here?" He continued. Tamaki then picked Shiro up by the collar.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He exclaimed in protest. Hina-chan then came out of the room and looked at Shiro.

Shiro looked embarrassed as he told Tamaki to put him down.

"Stop struggling." Tamaki said simply, as I went back to talk to the little girls.

"Hi, Hina-chan! Shiro-kun will be okay, so don't worry" I stated in reassurance as I smiled and patted her head.

"Everyone, retreat~" Tamaki said seriously as I ran after my club members.

"What's the meaning of this, you stupid king?" Exclaimed Shiro as Tamaki placed him on one of the red couches.

"You're the stupid one." Tamaki replied.

Shiro looked positively stunned at that.

"You wanted me to teach you how to make girls happy? Don't make me laugh! You think we'll be able to answer you no matter how much you ask us? What you want isn't to please many, unspecified girls, but just Kamishiro Hina. . .her and _only_ her, right?" Tamaki said, still in a serious tone.

Shiro gasped.

"You're the only one that can find out how to make her happy. Listen, our jobs as Hosts is to make girls happy. But for a girl that you personally love, you cannot approach her as a Host, you can only approach her as a _man_!" Tamaki said, as I stared in awe at him.

"What you should aim for isn't a fully-initiated Host, but a fully-initiated man, right?" Tamaki said, his volume going from loud shouts to quite conversation.

"It doesn't matter. . .I don't have any time left. . .I just wanted to watch her play the Piano as much as I could." Shiro said in dismay.

"So. . ." Tamaki began.

"That practice piece just now. . .that's Mozart's _Sonata _for a duet performance, right?" Tamaki questioned, as I felt myself cheering because I was right.

"Eh?" Shiro asked, surprised that Tamaki would know that.

Tamaki then ripped away a yellow curtain only to reveal a black Grand Piano.

"Was there a grand piano in this room before?" Haruhi asked with a sweat drop.

"This i_s_ a music room, after all" Hikaru said.

"Yes, even though we don't use it." Kaoru added.

"This _is_ a music room." Kyouya replied, mocking Haruhi from earlier.

"A music room. . ." Mori added.

"It was always there, just _hidden._" Honey replied as Haruhi twitched.

"Mimi-chan, come~" Came Tamaki's voice.

"H-_Hai._" I stuttered, coming to sit next to him on the Piano bench.

"You can play this piece as well, right?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah." I replied with a smile, feeling like this would be just like when Shimura-sensei wanted to hear us play.

The both of us put our fingers in position and proceeded to play.

* * *

"Um. . ." Hina-chan stuttered as she looked up at me.

"Hey, I told you not to worry, right?" I asked with a smile.

She hesitantly smiled in response, and then proceeded to look down at her invitation again.

"Here we are!" I replied as I pushed open the double doors of The Third Music room for her.

"Welcome, princess~" They called to Hina-chan as I walked over to stand next to Haruhi.

"Today's main event is, Takaoji Shiro's Piano piece." Tamaki said with a charming smile.

He motioned to where Shiro sat nervously at the Grand Piano. Hina blushed.

Tamaki then pulled out the Piano chair for Hina.

"Princess, please have a seat." He requested politely.

Hina smiled as Shiro looked at her, having a smile of his own etched across his face.

"Let's play together~" He suggested sweetly.

Hina grinned, her cheeks becoming even redder. "_Okay_!"

The sound of Mozart's Sonata filled the air as we all smiled.

"We did something nice!" Tamaki concluded jovially.

"A single minded love, eh?" Haruhi asked.

"Does that part of Shiro-kun resemble you, Tamaki-kun?" I asked with a smile.

"Yeah, _absolutely_." Tamaki said, turning to smile at us. I grinned.

**

* * *

**

**.:: Ten Days Later ::.**

"So, you've been exchanging mail with Hina-chan in Germany, everyday?" Haruhi questioned.

"Pretty much. . ." Shiro replied cheerfully.

"But she gets unexpectedly jealous very easily." Shiro said with a smirk.

"So the fact that I'm getting friendly with all of these Onee-san's. . ." Began Shiro as he gestured to the large group of customers that surrounded him, "Keep it a secret~" He said playfully.

"Aww, so cute!" cheered the girls.

"He said we're Onee-sans!" Said another girl, obviously flattered.

"I want to make him my brother!" Another girl said.

"I want to kiss him already~" Said one of the customers that was on the left of Shiro as the one to the right agreed.

Shiro smiled and blushed as the girls kissed his cheeks. Tamaki fumed, "W-_Why_?"

"Even my customers!" Tamaki said in frustration.

Shiro turned to Tamaki and smirked, "Heh, it's easy to be popular with girls. Your customers got taken away so easily, are you _really_ the Host Club King?" Shiro teased.

"I thought he finally pulled a cool act. .. " Began Hikaru.

"But I guess he was bound to end up like this. . ." Kaoru continued as they held Tamaki back from hurting Shiro.

"Yup, he resembles Tamaki-sempai alright." Haruhi said dryly.

"I'm sure that's how Sempai was like when he was a kid." Haruhi replied.

"No, that's definitely not how it was Haruhi! I was a precious and _innocent_ boy!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Sure you were. . ." I said sarcastically as I doodled on the paper I had hung over Tamaki's emo corner.

"_Hm_?" Questioned Haruhi as she walked over to me and read the words scribbled upon the paper.

**'Do not enter: No crybaby blonde's allowed in this corner; that means **_**you,**_** Tamaki**.'

Tamaki looked over at us and began spouting anime tears.

"How could you? How_ could _you?" He cried as the twins released him so they could _r.o.f.l. _all over the place.

"Ahh, there's more!" Haruhi called as she then told everyone what the paper had on it.

"This says:** Phony Prince**" She said, pointing to a scribble next to a crown with an X over it.

"Nani?" Came Tamaki's shouts as he ran over to the corner.

"Didn't you hear what the sign says? It says get _out_!" I said with a giggle, shoving Tamaki away while Haruhi continued to read the scribble.

"**The King of No Customers; Suoh Tamaki**~" Read Haruhi as Tamaki gasped.

"Ahh, Shiro-kun wrote that one earlier." I replied nonchalantly.

"What's the meaning of this?" Tamaki exclaimed as we all glanced at Shiro who turned to us and grinned, flashing the piece sign.

"Horrible, _Horrible_ children!" Tamaki wailed going back to his emo-corner.

"Respect the sign,_ idiot_!" I exclaimed kicking him out of the corner once again.


	7. Chapter 7: Jealousy

"Haruhi, there's only two of them so I think we can take 'em" I whispered to my club mate in attempt to persuade her.

"Well-" began Haruhi only to be interrupted by _them_. "Well then Fujioka-sama, Minamoto-sama..." began the one on the right in a cheerful tone.

"this way please" she said ominously as I felt a chill go up my spine. "Wait!" pleaded Haruhi fearfully.

In response, they reached out their hands and grabbed Haruhi and I in their clutches.

"Wait! Wait!" pleaded Haruhi again as we struggled to get free. In response, they chuckled while dragging us into a room.

"I'm too young to die!" I wailed as the door slammed shut behind us.

**

* * *

**

"How did it come to this?" I whined, attempting to shield my body from view.

"Stop complaining, Mimamoto-sama. You look absolutely lovely~" replied the twin maids is unison, giving me a thumbs up. _Did I?_

_This_ was what I was wearing, a pink polka-dot bikini with a matching hat and flip-flops; and I was completely uncomfortable in it.

I mean, how did Haruhi get away with a one-piece where as I was stuck in this whorekini?

And I couldn't even see well because those maids had confiscated my glasses and hair tie.

Speaking of those maids, they were servants to the very same Hitachiin twins that had kidnapped Haruhi and myself after school and whisked us away to an indoor tropical beach/resort type building owned by Kyouya's family.

"Come on then, Minamoto-sama!" said the twin maids suddenly as they pushed me out the door.

"B-But" I began, really not wanting to wear such revealing swimwear in front of six gorgeous guys.

"No buts, Minamoto-sama." tsked the twins as they retreated into the changing room, leaving me to stand awkwardly in front of the door.

**

* * *

**

"Besides even if it's a swimsuit, girls should not show their skin so defenselessly in front of guys!" came Tamaki's voice as I approached them.

Well, wait tell he sees me...he'll probably flip.

The twins were the first to notice me as they pointed at me, causing Tamaki to turn and look. "N-N-Nani?" he exclaimed as his face took on a comical expression.

"Um, hello?" I said nervously as I took of my hat and used it in attempt to cover my body.

And hey, could you really blame me? Tamaki was staring at me like I'd grown two heads.

"Who's this lovely lady?" he asked as I stared at him in shock.

"Don't be shy, dear princess. But I must inquire as to why a beauty such as yourself is here at this tropical paradise? Are you a gift from God?" I looked around to see if he was talking to someone else.

When I saw no other girl, I felt my face heat up. "T-Tamaki it's" I began only to be interrupted by Honey.

"Mimi-chan! Come play with meee~! Haru-chan too!" Honey exclaimed as he grabbed hold of my arm.

"No, I don't want to swim today" Haruhi replied from where she stood in a bright yellow parka.

Wait, _parka_? That's hardly fair.

After all, I'm the one in greater need of a coverage as opposed to Haruhi whose swimsuit would barely show any skin at all.

"Mimi...?" Tamaki questioned slowly with a blank expression, causing me to turn my attention to him rather than Haruhi and her parka.

"But I thought...you...bikini?" sputtered out Tamaki, as his face slowly turned pink.

Tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear I nodded at Honey in response to his earlier request and then went off to play with him, eager to get away from the suddenly awkward atmosphere.

"This pool has real waves! Sugoi, ne?" Honey asked he headed off in the direction of the pool.

"Mmhm, oh! What an adorable inner tube" I said, marveling at the pink bunny inner tube around Honey's waist.

"Ah~! I got it cause it reminds me of Usa-chan!" Honey said with a smile.

"Oh really? I thought for a second there it was because you couldn't swim" I said, dismissing the very thought of it.

Of course Honey'd know how to swim; he's a senior after all.

"I can't" came Honey's simple response as I blinked at him.

"Because isn't this cuter?" he added, noticing my surprised expression.

After doing a cute pose, Honey skipped off towards the pool. Shaking my head and forgetting the confusion I felt at his question I chased after him.

**.:: Third Person P.O.V. ::.**

The sound of high powered motor filled the indoor tropical paradise as the majority of the Host Club turned to see Renge arise from the sand in a black bikini complete with a tattoo and an umbrella as accessories.

"OHOHOHO!" Renge chortled jovially.

"Is this gimmick everywhere or something?" questioned Haruhi with slumped shoulders.

Tamaki came to stand next to Haruhi and the twins who were in awe at Renge's ensemble.

"That outfit is stupendous!" said Hikaru as Renge approached them.

"What's that tattoo around your tummy?" questioned Kaoru.

"Oh my, you don't know?" questioned Renge smugly.

"This is cosplay" she elaborated with a smile.

"Of what?" asked Hikaru dryly.

"Lala" remarked Renge.

"Lala? Is that like a Manga Magazine?" questioned Kaoru blankly.

"Petite and slender! O' and the blue eyes that shine upon young men!" began Renge wistfully.

"And her singing voice" continued Renge still wistfully.

"Behold, Kisaragi Quon!" said Renge, oblivious to the fact that none of the Host Club members knew who that was.

"I have no clue" muttered Haruhi.

"I have no clue at all..." said Tamaki almost immediately afterwards.

"See, Tono? There's a girl in a skimpy outfit, is that okay?" asked the twins as they kneeled in front of Renge.

"That's...fine, isn't it?" Tamaki said simply.

"And why is that?" the twin asked.

"Because...its cosplay, I suppose" Tamaki said, after a minute of thinking.

"And what about Maid-san, was it okay for _her_ to show such skin?" the twins asked with a smirk.

"Absolutely not!" Tamaki replied quickly, his face a deep crimson.

"Actually, where is she? I've got another parka-" began Tamaki as out of nowhere, he whipped out a light blue parka.

"Anyway" interrupted Renge.

"Your understanding of Haninozuka-sempai is not good enough" Renge continued, pointing a finger at the Host Club members.

"Takashiiiiii~!" "Kyaaaa~!" came Honey and Mimi's shouts as they landed in the water with a splash.

Mori, along with everyone else turned to look at them. "Wai~" Honey said as he floated around on his innertube while Mimi floated on her back.

Mori smiled at them. "What do you mean?" asked Tamaki.

"Like he just said..." Renge began as everyone has a flashback to when Honey said "Because isn't this cuter?"

"That is not innocent at all!" claimed Renge with a smirk.

"Indeed" replied Kyouya.

"You'd realize if you insert a subject at the end of his line."

Kyouya explained as his glasses glared in the light.

Tamaki, Haruhi, and the twins gained thoughtful expressions as they envisioned Honey adding, "Me that is~!" to the end of his last line.

"Calculation?" the four uttered in surprise. "How very impressive of Haninozuka-sempai!"

Renge called in admiration. "It seems that because his Shota position was being threatened, he's taking measures to strengthen his position" continued Renge.

"I have a better opinion of him now! Very, Very deep indeed!" finished Renge as she left the same way she had come.

"Hey everyone look! See, See!" called Honey as the rest of the hosts turned to look at Honey and Mimi who were riding Mori's back as he swam hard against the current.

Honey was smiling and waving whereas Mimi looked a bit embarrassed. "We're not advancing from our position at all, even though we're swimming so hard!"

Honey explained happily. "So, what is he?" asked Tamaki.

"Is he really deep?" inquired Haruhi.

Suddenly a beam of water hit Tamaki in the face as he and Haruhi turned to see the twins armed with water guns.

"Bull's eye!" Hikaru cheered.

"Let's have a water gun battle, Tono!" Kaoru suggested as he pumped up the water gun.

"It's me and Kaoru vs. you, Tono!" Hikaru stated as they approached Tamaki.

"You lose if you get hit in the face, and there's a penalty game" stated Kaoru.

"Heh, who would want to participate in such a child's game?" responded Tamaki as he wiped his face off with a towel. Smirking, the twins pulled Haruhi to them.

"Haruhi, let's get married right away!" said Hikaru.

"We'll got to Atami for our honeymoon!" Kaoru suggested.

Angrily, Tamaki began pumping the water gun while radiating a dark aura.

"There's no way I'm going to allow my cute Haruhi to become your bride" he muttered.

"Daddy won't allow it!" shouted Tamaki as the water gun fight commenced.

Haruhi talked to Mori as Mimi and Honey continued to swim against the current.

Suddenly, Tamaki slipped upon a banana peel and rammed into a tiki whose eyes glowed red immediately after.

This somehow resulted in a huge tidal wave forming behind an unexpected Honey and Mimi.

In response worried shouts rang through the air, "Honey-sempai!" "Mitsukuni!" "Mimi-chan!" "Maid-san!"

Unable to reach the water victims in time, all the Host Club could do was listen to Mimi's horrified screams "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~!"

* * *

**.:: Mimi-chan's P.O.V. again ::.**

Light was the first thing I saw, it was so bright that I assumed this was the end for me, that I had drowned within the confines of a manmade tropical paradise.

"Mimi-chan~! Mimi-chan~! Wakey, Mimi-chan~! Please, wake up~!" was the first thing I _heard_ as I felt a burning sensation in my lungs.

The light began to fade, leaving not a picturesque scene of angels and clouds, like I'd assume to see if I had died...but the worried face of Honey-sempai.

"Wai~! You're okay, Mimi-chan. I'm glad" Honey said warmly as I began to cough, water spewing from my mouth.

"Honey? What happened?" I asked in confusion, I attempted to sit up.

"A _huge_ wavey crashed down on us, then the current whisked us here and I saved you from the water" Honey began as he stood up.

"It was scawy(scary), because at first you weren't breathing...so I had to give you CPR~! Then you woke up!" Honey finished cutely.

Aw that's sweet, he saved me. "Chotto Matte, CPR?" I questioned after thinking about what he'd just said as I placed a hand to my lips.

"Hai! Ah~! You taste like my favorite strawberry cakey, Mimi-chan" Honey said thoughtfully as he grinned.

"That's er, nice?" I questioned trying to suppress a blush.

Honey, a friggin senior in high school and one of my friends had kind of given me my very first kiss?

And Honey looked like a little boy, so I felt quite like a pedophile at the moment.

"Mmhm! Ooh! Even though we got separated from everyone else, we still have each other.

So, we can spend time together and become bestest buddies, ne Mimi-chan?" asked Honey, ever the optimistic one, as he clung to my arm.

"I suppose so, but thank you for y'know...saving my life and all, Honey-sempai" I said as I smiled sweetly at the blonde.

"You're welcome, Mimi-chan! Now come on, we should probably look for Takashi and the others, ne?" Honey called, gently tugging on my arm.

I nodded and tried to stand only to feel a sharp pain in my ankle. "Daijobu, Mimi-chan?" Honey questioned, noticing my pained expression.

"I'm alright" I concluded, ignoring the pain and standing up; only to fall on my face a few seconds later.

"Mimi-chan!" exclaimed Honey as I felt very much like a weak little girl.

"Here, you've got an ouchie so I'll give you a piggy back ride~!" Honey told me as he kneeled down beside me.

"I couldn't possibly..." I trailed off.

There was no way I'd do that; my bulk would definitely crush him if he tried to give me a piggy back ride.

"Yes you could silly, all you have to do is get on my back" Honey said with a giggle.

"I'm too heavy" I said flatly.

"I'm strong, Mimi-chan. Nothing's too heavy for meee!" Honey replied as I hesitantly climbed on his back realizing he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Surprisingly, Honey **was** strong, and I didn't crush his teeny tiny body with my own. So, we began are long and perilous journey through the imitation jungle.

**

* * *

**

Somewhere along the line, it had begun to rain causing Honey and I to find ourselves completely soaked, but we still trudged on.

"This man is resisting! Ready your weapons!" Honey and I overheard as we came upon a clearing.

Honey sat me down softly upon the ground as we hid behind the bushes and peaked at the scene only to see a bunch of police man preparing to shoot Mori and Haruhi.

Honey quickly sprung to action after telling me to stay hidden, "Takashi, Haru-chan! Get out of the way!"

Honey called as he swung in on a vine.

"What are you doing, you shortie?" called a policeman as he cocked his gun.

"Who cares, shoot him!" called another policeman as Honey smirked.

What happened next was amazing; Honey single handedly beat the crap out of every policeman there.

"Don't be doing reckless things! Bullying my friends is a no-no!" Honey called, pointing a finger at the beaten policemen.

"Haruhi!" called Tamaki as the rest of my club mates came running towards us.

"Haruhi, are you alright?" he questioned in concern.

"Ah! Tama-chan" Honey said, acknowledging their presence.

"Ah" began Hikaru.

"Honey-sempai!" said Kaoru in surprise.

"Haruhiiiiiii!" called Tamaki as he ran towards her.

"I was worried sick for you" he continued as he hugged her.

"I'm not sure what happened, but it seems that they're safe" Hikaru stated as the twins poked the policemen.

"Well, this was Honey-sempai's doing, right?" Kaoru questioned dryly.

"Then he must have went easy on them" Kaoru continued.

"Huh? What does that mean?" asked Haruhi whilst weaseling out of Tamaki's embrace.

"What? You didn't know?" asked the twins.

"Haninozuka is famous for being an elite martial arts family" Hikaru explained as I gasped.

"Not only the police or self-defense force, but they also instructed armies overseas" Hikaru added as I felt shocked, never having known or expected this before.

As Kyouya gave his input, I realized that no one had thought to remember me.

Sighing because this was something the hosts tended to due, I listened attentively to Kyouya and Tamaki as they revealed that Honey was a Karate and Judo Champion whereas Mori was a Kendo Champion.

"Honey-sempai, why are you here?" asked Kaoru as the twins stood before Honey.

"Well, Mimi-chan and I reached the goal at the wave pool and then decided to go looking for you guys" Honey replied.

"I am extremely sorry!" called a policeman as all the policemen people kneeled before Honey-sempai and began apologizing on behalf of their families upon realizing who Honey was.

The twins gained thoughtful expressions as Honey patted Mori's head.

"Takashi, it was so great of you to have protected Haru-chan" Honey praised.

"You weren't lonely even when I wasn't around, huh?" Honey asked cheerfully.

"Not completely" replied Mori.

"He could say the same for you though, right Honey-sempai? You had Mimi-chan to keep you company" Haruhi interjected.

"Ah!" exclaimed the twins suddenly as everyone turned to them.

"Now that you mention it..." began Hikaru.

"Where _is_ Maid-san?" finished Kaoru.

Everyone then gasped, realizing that I had been forgotten and was still not with them.

"Mimi-chan's..." Honey started as he blinked.

"Over here~!" he called as he skipped over to the bushes that I was behind.

The rest of the hosts followed.

Honey then pushed the bush aside only to reveal me.

"Hi" I stated with an awkward wave.

* * *

"Next time we should go to the beach for a different mood" Hikaru suggested.

"Ahh, the beach...that's an interesting idea" Kaoru replied.

"Fools. Haruhi and Mimi-chan aren't interested in that" Tamaki dismissed.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind going to the beach" Haruhi said with a smile.

"I wouldn't either, but I won't be swimming on the off chance that we do go" I said, feeling as if I've had enough fun with water for now.

Tamaki and the twins turned to Haruhi in surprise.

"I don't really enjoy obviously artificial sites" Haruhi explained.

"But the beach is nice" Haruhi continued as I nodded and added, "It's beautiful too"

"Okay, I know" began Tamaki taking a dramatic pose as I took the time to marvel at his shirtless form.

"We'll go to the beach next time!" Tamaki replied.

Stumbling due to my injured ankle and surprise I clutched onto Mori's arm as Mori had let me use him as a crutch until we reached the limo.

"Mimi-chan" Honey called as I turned to look at him.

"Trade me places" Honey insisted.

"N-" I began in protest.

"You're injured, you need a piggy back ride more then me, ne?" he replied kindly.

"But you already saved my life-" I began only to be interrupted.

"You saved her life, Honey-sempai?" questioned Haruhi.

It was understandable that she'd ask that, because the hosts hadn't been informed of all the details, just the fact that my ankle had been sprained.

"I gave her CPR!" Honey shouted cheerfully as everyone became dead silent.

"Nani?" exclaimed Tamaki and the twins.

"Honey-sempai put his lips upon _my_ daughter?" Tamaki continued in shock, pulling at his own blonde locks angrily.

"Hai!" Honey replied as he cheesed.

"This is absolutely unacceptable! Daddy will not allow this relationship to occur!" Tamaki shouted as Honey hopped off Mori's back.

"What relationship?" I exclaimed in confusion.

"So naive is my daughter! Come here, daddy will shelter you from the world~!" Tamaki said as he opened his arms, expecting a hug or something.

I was thrilled, because it wasn't often that Tamaki paid attention to me like this.

"Milord, you just want to hug her while she's in such skimpy clothing" the twins stated dully in unison as I blushed.

"Iie! Papa could never have such ill intentions!" Tamaki reasoned as his face reddened, annoyed at the twins for suggesting such a thing.

"Oh yeah? Then maybe you're just jealous and wanted to be the one to give her CPR?" Hikaru stated as I blushed deeper.

"No! I would never do that to my daughter and how could I _possibly_ be** jealous**?" Tamaki said, shaking his head back and forth.

What's wrong with kissing me? Am I really that unattractive?

"Here, Mimi-chan" Honey called as Takashi kneeled down.

Sighing, I climbed onto his back. "Arigatou Mori-sempai, Honey-sempai" I replied.

"Mm" was Mori's response.

"Ahh, you're welcome! Hehe, it'll be fun at the beach, ne Mimi-chan? We could even spend the day together again!" Honey suggested as I smiled softly.

"I'd like that Honey" I stated.

"What? Since when did you address him so intimately?" questioned Tamaki.

"Since when did you address _Haruhi_ so intimately?" I shot back icily, remembering his 'I'd never kiss her' type comment made earlier.

"Ano, but that's different..." Tamaki attempted to reason as I looked away from him, feeling quite frustrated.

"Mimi-chan..." Tamaki began, trying to get my attention.

"Mimi..." he tried again.

"Go sit in your emo corner. Oh that's right, you're not allowed in it, are you?" I snapped as I clung tighter to Mori's back.

Tamaki then began leaking anime tears as the twins snickered, "Milord's been _burned_".


	8. Chapter 8: Fear

"How beautiful..." "It's like a dream. Alone with you, watching the sea..."

"Tis not a dream, but if you should desire it, I would like to appear in your dreams tonight..."

"_Oh_ Tamaki..."

No this was not _my_ dream, but rather my nightmare turned reality.

Let me elaborate...You remember that the Host Club's next destination was to be the beach, don't you?

Well the beach was exactly where we were, and although I'm usually fond of the beach with it's warm sand and sunny skies, I _was not_ fond of it when it was over-populated by crazy customers.

Despite the fact that this particular part of the beach was privately owned by Kyouya and his family, the hosts' customers had managed to worm they way in; and our 'King?'

Well he was living it up. Unable to enter his emo corner he'd created his very own emo rock within the ocean and invited an ample amount of ladies to bask in its emo-ness with him.

Of course they weren't being very 'emo' about it as females lined up in order to flirt with Tamaki for a few minutes on the emo-rock, but whatever.

"Your 'alone with Tamaki' time is up" Kyouya stated to the girl that was currently getting cozy with our King. "Next lady please go ahead" he beckoned.

I groaned as another girl stepped up to plate, eager to be 'alone' with Tamaki. "Something wrong?" came Haruhi's voice as I turned to look at her. "I hate emo rocks..." I said vaguely.

"Oh...er don't we all?" Haruhi replied with a sweat drop as I giggled at her confused expression. "Haruhi-kun, Mimi-chan" came an unfamiliar voice as Haruhi and I turned to look at three random customers.

"You two aren't going to swim?" questioned the same girl who'd called our names. "Ahh. I enjoy watching the ocean more than swimming in it" was Haruhi's response. "Well, I've recently had a bad experience with swimming so I think it'd be best if I just relax in the shade. Besides, my clothing isn't too suitable for swimming" I replied with a smile after glancing down at my odd apparel, which looked like this, by the way.

A blue and white short sleeved swim suit top sort of thing that showed my midriff and tied in a bow with a white bikini bottom that was thankfully covered by a skirt.

"But it's so cute~! Did Hikaru and Kaoru-kun's mother design it?" questioned one of the girls, marveling at my outfit.

"Mmhm, how'd you guess?" I inquired as I blinked.

Before the girl got a chance to reply, one of the other girls spoke up.

"So, you two wouldn't mind if we joined you, ne?"

"Why?" questioned Haruhi with a sparkling smile, no doubt reserved for her customers.

"Go take a dip!" she ordered sweetly.

She obviously didn't want to spend time attending to her fangirls who weren't even aware of her real gender

. Deciding to help her out I added, "Geez, you guys have such adorable swimsuits, wouldn't you like to show them off as you swim?"

Haruhi nodded in agreement as the girls blushed.

Soon after they left, leaving Haruhi and I to be utterly bored.

"This is nice, but I could have spent my day more productively rather than goofing off at the beach" Haruhi stated glumly.

"I agree, I'd much rather be at home helping Obaa-chan out in nice comfy sweats and a t-shirt as opposed to _this_" I concurred, gesturing to my swimwear once again.

Both of us sighed in dismay. "Haru-chan, Mimi-chan~!" called Honey as we glanced at him.

He was over by a formation of rocks, equipped with a shovel and bunny pail as he waved us over.

"Coming~!" I responded cheerfully, as Haruhi and I stood up.

"Let's hioshigari!" suggested Honey with a grin once we reached him. Mori stood nearby, glancing off into the distance.

I sweatdropped, as there was no such thing as 'hioshigari'.

"You mean, _Shiohigari" _Haruhi corrected blandly.

Shiohigari means 'to dig up shells at the beach' for those of you who weren't aware.

"Besides, I've never heard of being able to dig up shells around he-" began Haruhi, she stopped herself mid-sentence upon realizing that Honey did indeed have a bucket full of shells. Haruhi became startled as a giant crab crawled by.

"What the-?" she began as we glanced at the ground only to see the entire area covered in crabby critters.

In shock I jumped a good ten feet in the air after exclaiming, "What the fuck?"

"What is all this?" shouted Haruhi.

I closed my eyes in anticipation for the harsh landing I was sure to make due to gravity.

"Ahh." came the sound of Mori's voice as I became puzzled.

I was sure that the ground would be less comfortable than it was, in fact my fall had been down right comfortable with no injuries occurring.

Opening my eyes, I was met with Mori-sempai's stoic face.

"Um..." I mumbled as he sat me down gently. Apparently Mori had caught me in his arms.

"Arigatou, Mori-sempai" I replied, dusting myself off.

"Hmm" came his quiet response.

Mori then proceeded to climb over the rock formation leaving Honey, Haruhi, and I to deal with the shells and such.

"Tonights side dishes are going to be splendid!" cheered Haruhi.

"They do look delicious" I said, staring at the crabs.

If you haven't guessed, I'm quite partial to seafood.

"Tamaki-kun!" I called to the blonde as I noticed him standing a few feet away.

I supposed that he was done flirting with his customers for the time being.

"Tonight's dinner is going to be huge~!" cried Haruhi jovially.

"Tonight's dinner is going to be a treat, right?" I exclaimed to Honey as I grinned.

**

* * *

**

"What do you think, you two?" questioned Tamaki as he held up a giant crab.

You know what I think? Tamaki's got _crabs,_ heh.

"Do you like giant crab?" Tamaki questioned with a smile.

"I do!" Haruhi replied happily.

"Yup" I added. "So cute..." muttered Tamaki as a centipede suddenly crawled around on the crab. The customers and hosts alike then began freaking out as I found myself asking, "Was that there before?"

Tamaki didn't look like he was going to do anything about the Centipede so Haruhi picked it up and gently threw it away.

The twins and a few girls came up to Haruhi and began bugging her.

Once the girls started spouting compliments, the twins slithered over to Tamaki and I.

"Oh well, whatever." said Hikaru blankly.

"Her reactions are really different from normal girls', huh?" Kaoru questioned.

"Isn't there anything she's afraid of?" Tamaki asked in disbelief.

"Tono! Tono!" exclaimed the twins suddenly, devilish expressions upon their faces.

"We just thought of an interesting game, wanna take part?" questioned the twins as Tamaki blinked in confusion.

"It's called..." they began in a whisper as I strained my ears to hear them. Suddenly, the twins paused to glance at me.

Almost immediately after, they whisked Tamaki away and began whispering to him, leaving me with the crab.

"What's up with that?" I inquired quirking a brow at the trio.

* * *

"This place...is actually a haunted spot that even the locals don't dare come to" began Hikaru ominously as I shivered.

"This cave doesn't show itself except for when the tide is out" continued Kaoru as I glanced around nervously.

Hikaru and Kaoru had all of the sudden gotten the notion that it would be fun to lead Haruhi, a few customers, and myself into this creepy cave.

"Despite this there have been many people who have drowned here" Hikaru added as I whimpered.

Did that mean there were ghosts? Because I did _not_ like ghosts.

"-and apparently their grudges drag people that pass by here into the darkness" continued Hikaru as the two customers clutched onto to either side of me, the three of us shaking and whimpering.

"What's that?" questioned Kaoru suddenly, pointing to his left.

A crazy monster thing came out as the customers and I screamed, "Kyaaaaaaaa!"

Suddenly a creepy looking hand appeared on Haruhi's shoulder as I screamed again, yet Haruhi only blinked at it.

"What's this?" she questioned blandly.

"Some kind of fear trial?" she added boredly.

"Aren't you scared of ghosts at all?" Kaoru questioned, as I grew an anime vein realizing that this whole time the twins' only objective was to scare the crap out of us.

"You, _assholes_!"

**

* * *

**

"Haru-chan! Mimi-chan!" called Honey for the second time that day.

"This way! This way!" added Honey.

Haruhi and I gazed up at Kyouya's secret police's truck.

"Is it okay to drive something like this on the beach?" Haruhi questioned skeptically.

Minutes later, we were looking down from the back of the truck.

"Well then, everyone in the private police, please" stated Honey politely as he bowed.

"Yessir!" the policemen replied as they saluted.

Afterwards, the back door slammed shut leaving the three of us in total darkness.

Haruhi remained silent as I glanced around in paranoia, I _did not _like the dark either.

"It's scary! It's dark! It's cramped in here!" Honey called, near tears.

"It's scary! It's dark! It's cramped in here!" repeated Honey.

"It's scary! It's dark! It's cramped in here!" Honey repeated again, only this time I joined in.

"You guys..." began Haruhi with a sweat drop.

* * *

"This is...a harpoon, huh?" Haruhi questioned blankly as we stared at Mori and the harpoon he held.

"Yeah, looks like it" I said dully.

"Hmm..." stated Mori in monotone.

**

* * *

**

"Hey Haruhi! Here's another sidedish" I called, scooping up another shell.

"Okay!" Haruhi replied cheerfully as she skipped over to me.

"Haruhi-kun, Mimi-chan!" came a girl's voice.

Looking up, we saw the same three girls who had talked with us earlier.

"Hey!" said the other girl.

"The wind feels good up here!" said the last girl.

I cocked a brow at them. Didn't we tell them to go swim, not to climb a friggin cliff?

"It's dangerous" replied Haruhi anxiously.

"It feels so good" said one of the girls as they looked out at the sunset.

"Ohh! There's some chicks over here" came a male's voice as two goons came walked up to the girls.

"Lucky us" replied one of the goons.

"Hey pretties, let's go have some fun" suggested the other goon as they came closer to the girls.

"Who are you people?" questioned one of the girls nervously.

"Come on, it's boring just being by yourself right?" questioned one of the goons as he grabbed the girl's wrist.

"Please stop!" requested one of the other girls.

"This is a private beach" continued the girl.

"What's that supposed to mean?" responded the other goon.

"Are y'all rich girls or something?" added the goon as he wrapped his arms around the girls.

"Ow!" exclaimed the first goon as Haruhi chucked the contents of her bucket at him.

"Why don't you get lost already?" Haruhi asked as we reached the top off the cliff thing.

"They're obviously not interested" I replied curtly.

"They're saying that it's annoying" Haruhi added angrily.

"Haruhi-kun! Mimi-chan!" exclaimed the customers as we smiled at them in reassurance.

"Damn you" seethed the goon.

* * *

The customers had managed to escape while Haruhi and I were trapped in their place.

"Damn you've got skinny arms" said the goon as he grabbed Haruhi by the collar, leaning her over the edge of the cliff thing.

The other one had me in his clutches.

"Y'know those other girls were pretty hot, I was looking forward to having some _fun_ with them, but since their gone...I guess you'll have 'ta do" said the goon, as he held my arms above my head with one hand.

I felt like a helpless little girl, as the guy began attacking my neck with his lips.

"Mimi-chan!" Haruhi called noticing my predicament.

"Quiet you!" the goon who held Haruhi breathed angrily.

"Haruhi!" I cried out. Suddenly the goon who held me captive began touching inappropriate places.

"Stop it!" I screamed in protest, trying to break free of his hold.

The goon smirked at me and replied, "Ooh, I like 'em feisty." The other goon smirked at Haruhi, "Kids like you should just go bathe..."

"Haruhi! Mimi!" came Tamaki's voice.

"In the sea" finished the goon as Haruhi fell to the water below.

"Oh my God..." I cried, tears running down my cheeks.

**-/To/Be/Continued/-**


	9. Chapter 9: Sweeter than Cakey!

His footsteps made splashes in the water as Tamaki approached us.

In his arms, rested a limp Haruhi.

"Haru-chan!"

"Tono!" came Honey and the Twins shouts as I remained silent.

Immediately after Haruhi had fallen, Tamaki leapt after her leaving me alone with the two goons untill the twins arrived to beat the crap out of them.

To say that I had been through an ordeal would be an understatement, hell I was nearly raped by two strangers.

"Here, Mimi-chan~!" called Honey as he handed me Usa-chan, hoping that it would give me some small form of comfort.

"Arigatou..." I said quietly, clutching Usa-chan to my chest.

"I'm fine, I don't need a doctor. . ." came Haruhi's voice as I turned my attention to their conversation.

"Are you one of those?" began Tamaki, his bangs hiding his eyes from view.

"Like you're really a martial arts master like Honey-sempai?" Haruhi looked confused.

"Why do you think a girl like you can take on guys?" Tamaki questioned, placing his hands firmly upon Haruhi's shoulders.

"Well, that's not completely _sexist_." came my sarcastic remark.

Everyone turned to look at me as a result.

"And you!" Tamaki called ominously, coming to stand before me.

"Me?" I asked, quirking a brow.

"You're not any better than _she_ is!" Tamaki scolded as I frowned.

"Look we saved those girls from suffering a worst fate than we did, that's all that matters isn't it?" I said icily.

"Think about it a little, idiots!" Tamaki replied angrily.

"You're girls!" Tamaki added as I blinked.

"You couldn't even save _yourself_!" came Tamaki's comment, directed towards me.

"If we hadn't gotten there in time, who knows what would've happened. . ." Tamaki trailed off.

"I'll apologize for causing trouble, but I don't see any other reason we should be scolded for." Haruhi replied in frustration.

"We didn't do anything wrong." I added.

"Oh yeah? Then do whatever you want. . ." Tamaki said calmly and quietly as he walked away from us.

"I won't talk to either of you until you admit that you're wrong!" Tamaki added as he continued walking.

"Tch." I scoffed as I clutched Usa-chan so tight that its button eyes almost popped out.

* * *

"Stupid, Stupid, Sexist, Idiot~" I seethed, running a brush through my chestnut colored hair.

I'll give you three guesses as to who I'm talking about.

And if you guessed anything but Tamaki Suoh, you'd be unbelievably, undeniably, wrong.

It was now night time and I had just finished taking a shower, and changing into my night clothes which happened to be a lovely, black and white frilly dress.

Courtesy of the twins mom, of course.

For some reason she likes to design clothes for me, regardless of the fact that I haven't even met her. . .

_**Knock! Knock!**_ Came the sound of someone pounding on my door.

"Come in" I replied.

The door opened to reveal Mori and Haruhi with their arms linked together.

"Dinner's ready~" Haruhi replied with a light smile.

"Oh okay" I replied setting my brush down upon the dresser, flinching as I did so.

As it happens, that goon/thug who'd attempted to molest me had gripped my wrists a bit too hard leaving large purple bruises upon them.

Kyouya's doctor had taken a look at them and stated that they'd heal up in a few days.

"You two look adorable together, by the way~" I stated smugly as I came to stand in front of them in the hallway.

A faint blush occupied Haruhi's cheeks as she glared at me, "Urasai!" she replied as I giggled.

"-and we're not together, now can we please go to the dining room?" Haruhi said in exasperation.

"I never said that you two were together, I simply meant that you looked nice standing together. Very picturesque if you will." I stated smartly with a smirk.

"Mimi. . .!" Haruhi chided with an anime vein.

"Sure, Sure I get it. Everyone has there secrets so I have no right to intrude on your's and Mori-sempai's." I reasoned as I grabbed a hold of Mori's other arm.

"What is that supposed to mean?" inquired Haruhi.

"Nothing, dearest Haruhi." I replied sweetly.

* * *

"It's really not polite to stare." I stated as the rest of the Host Club openly gawked at Haruhi, Mori, and I.

I, of course, gathered that it was either because of Haruhi and I's dresses or the fact that Mori looked like a pimp with two girls on his arms.

"Ohh~!" Honey stated in complete awe.

"Are those your own clothes?" The twins asked in coy unison.

"Geez, you two know that your mom designed this for me. . .!" I replied with a sigh.

In response, the twins chuckled and gave me a thumbs up.

"It seems my father repacked my suitcase." Haruhi stated, her tone laced with aggrevation.

"He always wants me to wear these types of clothes. . ." She added in dismay.

"Good job, Haruhi-papa!" The twins cheered, sporting another round of thumbs up.

"Mimi-chan, you're so cute~!" Honey praised as I blushed.

"Really?" I questioned, smiling sweetly at my sempai.

"Mmhm~!" Honey replied, not skipping a beat.

Afgter spotting Tamaki hiding behind a pillar, I smirked.

"Arigatou, Mitsukuni~!" I said softly, bending down in order to kiss Honey on the cheek.

Honey blushed at the affectionate gesture whereas Tamaki sank to the floor, instead of turning to stone like usual he was now a puddle of angry blonde idiot goo.

My smirk widened.

* * *

How did I end up sitting next to him, really?

There are eight people at this dining table and instead of sitting next to someone I could hold pleasant conversation with, I end up sitting next to _him_.

"The mood is kind of. . .dead here." Hikaru replied blankly.

"Isn't it?" I replied stiffly, taking a sip of tea.

Glancing at me, Kaoru remarked "It's kind of tense, too."

Honey, eager to be the peace maker, proclaimed: "Let's eat, Mina-san!"

Whilst Mori and Honey held up baskets of crab, he continued.

"Mimi-chan, Haru-chan, the crabs we got today should be delicious~!" Almost immediately, Haruhi and I cracked open a crab leg.

As Haruhi sucked the meat out, got another crab leg and repeated the action I picked up a teeny tiny little fork and began stabbing at the crab meat angrily, pretending that the crab was Tamaki's head.

"This crab is delicious. . ." stated Haruhi as she chucked the empty shells at Tamaki nonchalantly from across the table.

After sucking down like a million pieces of crab meat, Tamaki decided to speak.

"Aren't you two eating a little too much?"

I glared at him fiercly, "Oh! So now you're calling me fat?" I exclaimed, slapping the fork down on the table.

"N-_N-_" Tamaki sputtered.

"Hmm? And I thought he wasn't going to speak with us. . ." Haruhi replied nonchalantly.

"S-_So_ not cute!" Tamaki called as a piece of shell hit him in the face.

"So now I'm ugly as well?" I replied cooly as Haruhi threw a glare his way.

To be honest, I wasn't sure why I was so utterly infuriated with Tamaki, maybe it's because PMS and dealing with moronic men doesn't go well together.

"All right, I get it!" said Tamaki, as he slapped his napkin on the table and stood up.

"Neither of you are going to reflect upon what you did!" stated Tamaki as he grew an anime vein.

"That's it - I'm going to bed." proclaimed Tamaki swiftly, walking away from the table.

"Fine!" I exclaimed, also standing up.

"Since I'm so fat and ugly, I'm going to my room so that I can shield my hideous appearance from the world!" I stated somewhat sarcastically, stomping off in the opposite direction.

* * *

I woke up with a scream to the sound of thunder booming outside my window.

I had just had a nightmare about the more traumatizing experiences I'd had today, like being scared to death in the cave, freaking out in the truck, and almost being raped. . .except in my nightmare there wasn't an almost.

Thunder boomed again, as I whimpered and pulled the covers up to my chin.

I then took a couple of deep breaths and tried to fall asleep again.

Five minutes later when I was still not asleep but shaking and glancing around the room in a state of panic, I decided it was time to find someone, anyone.

Stepping into the hallway with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, I tiptoed to the room closest to mine.

Opening the door, I gasped.

This was _Tamaki_'s room.

How that fact when unnoticed before was a mystery to me as the Host Club King lay clearly upon a large King sized bed, his arms and legs were sprawled out as he lay on his back with a bit of drool running down his chin.

Chocking back a giggle, I marveled at how cute he looked.

However, it didn't take me long to remember my anger for him as I turned to leave the room.

Suddenly, thunder boomed again as a tree branch creaked outside, startling me severely.

"_**Kyaa**_!" I screamed, hurriedly slapping a hand over my mouth in attempt to block out the sound.

I really didn't want to wake Tamaki up, yet he began to stir.

"Mmm, Mimi?" Tamaki asked groggily as he rose into a sitting position.

"Um. . ." I began, wracking my brain for an excuse.

"Oooh, you are only sleeping,_ dreaming _that I'm in your room~" I offered a bit lamely.

Tamaki rubbed his eyes sleepily, allowing a yawn to escape his lips.

"Mmm, okay. . ." he mumbled falling back upon the bed.

Sighing in relief, I jumped as Tamaki suddenly rose into a sitting position again.

"Wait a minute! In my dream you and Haruhi were wearing those kawaii bunny costumes and Kyouya was a pirate marshmallow with a peg-leg so that means that I can't be asleep!" Tamaki declared stupidly as I sweat-dropped.

"_Ooookay,_" I replied.

"I'll just be going now. . ." I stated, hesitantly creeping towards the door.

I could always try the next room over, right?

"Chotto Matte!" Tamaki called, running a hand through his hair.

"Hm?" I asked.

"Why were you in my room in the first place?" Tamaki asked skeptically.

"Well-" I started, only to scream as the tree limb smacked against the window again whilst lightening flashed.

The tree limb then resembled the '_monster_' within the cave.

"Oh." Tamaki stated simply.

"Oh? What's '_Oh' _supposed to mean?" I asked through chattering teeth.

"You're quite skittish." Tamaki pointed out, utterly bemused.

"_You're_ quite stupid." I retorted rudely.

Tamaki pouted at this.

Unable to stay angry at that face, I sighed.

"Listen, I had a nightmare and-" I began only to be interrupted.

"Oh my! Papa's precious daughter had a terrible nightmare and needed to come to daddy for comfort~" he replied dramatically.

"Well, I didn't know that this was your room. If I did, I wouldn't have come in here, you sexist pig~!" I responded bluntly.

"I'm _not_ sexist, okay?" Tamaki said in frustration.

"Then what's the deal with you assuming that girls can't defend themselves and such?" I inquired with a quirked brow.

"Well you didn't defend yourself, those guys were too strong for you and Haruhi-" reasoned Tamaki as I fumed.

I hated to be weak, and I especially hated to be called weak even if Tamaki didn't say that exactly.

Without thinking, I attempted to slap Tamaki only to have him grab my wrist mid-slap.

"I was just-" came Tamaki's feeble attempt at defending himself.

I flinched at how tightly Tamaki's grip was on my wrist as the bruise on my wrist stung fiercly.

Seeing my pained expression, Tamaki let go of my wrist allowing his hand to fall to his side.

"I was just worried about you." he said quietly as he stared at his feet.

My eyes widened considerably, full of suprise. "Tamaki. . ." I whispered.

"When I heard that you and Haruhi had taken those guys on by yourselves. . ." Tamaki began, clenching his fist.

"When I saw that guy touching you in such a way. . ." Tamaki continued gritting his teeth.

"When I saw Haruhi falling from the cliff. . ." he added.

"You decided that saving her was your main priority." I finished for him quite sourly.

"Well that's just it, from the time I dived after Haruhi to when I carried her to shore I was worried about her as well. . ." Tamaki began as I felt a pain in my heart.

What was Tamaki going to confess his love for Haruhi now? _Great_.

"-but my main concerns were for you." He said glumly as my heart fluttered.

"And I feel like I'm failing as a papa, because papa's shouldn't have favorites, they should love their children _equally_. . ." Tamaki continued, looking as if he was thinking out loud rather than talking to me.

He ran a hand through his hair, something that I noticed he tended to do a lot.

"Anyway, a lot of things have happened to today. You need your rest, so I'll escort you back to your room." Tamaki stated firmly as he headed towards the pitch black hallway.

"Tamaki wait!" I stated, as lightening struck.

Lighting up the room and the hallway giving them an ominous glow.

Tamaki looked at me curiously.

My face turned a dark red as I muttered, "Can I sleep with you?"

Tamaki's face turned scarlet as I made a mental note to kick myself later for how wrong that sounded.

"Ugh, damn it! What I mean is, can I sleep in your _room_ tonight?" I reworded my sentence, hoping that he understood me correctly.

Tamaki scratched the back of his neck as he turned to face me.

"It's not proper for a gentleman and a young lady to-" began Tamaki nervously.

"Please, I don't want to be all alone. . ." I whimpered pathetically.

"Okay," stated Tamaki as he walked over to his bed.

He then proceeded to draw the covers back and fluff the pillows on one side.

"You can sleep right here. . ." he said indicating to one side of the bed.

"Arigatou~" I whispered, hurrying over to that side of the bed and diving under the covers.

"You're welcome." he replied kindly as he too got in bed.

We had our backs to each other feeling awkward.

"Tamaki-kun?" I questioned unsurely.

"Hai?" Tamaki questioned as he turned to face me.

"Gomenasai. . ." I said simply.

"For what?" Tamaki asked, feeling puzzled.

"Making you worry about me. . ." I explained in embarrassment, my eyelids becoming heavy.

"It's okay. . ." came Tamaki's soft response like a lullaby just for me as I sunk into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Shield your eyes Honey-sempai! This scene's too inappropriate for you!"

"You too, Haruhi!"

"I think it's sweet, actually~"

"Sweeter than cakey~!"

"Hmm. . ."

"Interesting. . ." came the sound of six familiar voices, waking me from my slumber. . .and what a wonderful, peaceful slumber it was.

My bed was so comfy and unusually warm, not to mention the warm breathe on the back of my neck that kept me relaxed.

Wait, _warm breath on the back of my neck_?

Cracking my eyes open, I blinked a couple of times allowing my eyes to adjust to the light.

I hurriedly grabbed my glasses off the bedside table and put them on.

"Good morning, Maid-san!" chorused the twins as I glanced up only to see that nearly the entire Host Club was standing over my bed.

"Sleep well?" Haruhi replied slyly.

"Um. . ." I began as the twins snickered.

"We didn't realize that you and Milord were like _that_~" replied Hikaru with a grin.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I said obliviously as something tightened around my waist.

Blinking, I looked down at my waist only to see two pale, masculine arms.

Turning my head to see who the arms belong to I saw a sleeping Suoh.

"**Kyaaaa**!" I screamed in shock, causing him to awaken.

"Huh?" he said tiredly.

"Milord! You dog, you!" said Hikaru smugly.

"Will there be lots of cake at your wedding?" Honey inquired sweetly.

"Or was this just a one night stand?" inquired Kaoru as Tamaki and I blushed.

"This isn't what it looks like!" declared Tamaki, scrambling away from me.

"Mimi had a nightmare and she-" began Tamaki.

"Oh you're addressing her intimately now, hm?" Hikaru said.

"B-But. . ." stuttered Tamaki.

"Takiing advantage of frightened women isn't something I'd expect from our _King._" stated Kyouya, his tone laced with faux dissapointment.

"No! I told you it's not like that-" Tamaki tried to reason with them.

"Indeed, what a perverted prince~!" Kaoru added.

"The King of all players!" Hikaru agreed.

"Tell them, Mimi. Tell them it's not like that!" Tamaki pleaded.

Recalling everything that happened last night, I attempted to do so but the others' teasings drowned me out.

Sighing, I turned to Haruhi.

"Well, what's for breakfast?" I asked her as my stomach growled.

She laughed in response.


	10. Chapter 10: OHOHOHO!

**Thank you for all of your lovely reviews. I will respond to them all individually in time. :]**

* * *

"Those _assholes!_" I seethed as I stomped aggressively down the hallway.

"Assholes, Assholes, Assholes!" I repeated with clenched fists.

"What's the matter, dear?" Someone called with a distinctly soft, feminine voice.

"Men are assholes!" I replied, not bothering to turn around and see who it was.

"Of course they are, they have too much testosterone and not enough common sense." Another feminine voice reasoned.

"Exactly!" I called throwing my hands up in exasperation.

It was silent for a moment until the first voice decided to speak up once more, "I think you'd be absolutely lovely at Lobelia..."

"Huh?" I asked in confusion as I allowed my hands to fall limply to my sides.

"Walk with us, dear." The first voice ordered.

At the instruction, I turned around only to be met with two undeniably pretty girls in foreign uniforms.

"_Sure..._" I replied uneasily as the two girls with gleaming grins and a regal air linked arms with me.

* * *

"So this is the place?"

"Mmmhm~."

That familiar swirl of rose petals and bright light didn't bring a smile to my face like it usually did. On the contrary, at this point in time all I could do was scowl.

"_**Welcome ladies**_~!" The Hosts greeted in flawless and ultimately dashing unison.

"Well, Well, Well, it looks like you ladies are from another school. I certainly hope that we haven't startled you, we _love_ first time guests." Tamaki proclaimed, striking a courageous pose in knight cosplay.

Of course he failed to notice me as he began attempting to woe Chizuru and Hinako.

"I'm glad you have come here, princesses! My darlings, even if the world were to be destroyed I'd put my life on the line as your faithful knight and servant. I will protect you." Tamaki recited as he kneeled before the two girls.

"Oh my, do you really think you'd be able to protect us? That's awfully arrogant of you, wouldn't you agree? You think _that's _what a woman wants to hear? Well you're wrong." Chizuru pointed out with a yawn.

It was one of the, ahah, rare times I would ever get to see Tamaki Suoh look so stunned.

"Come on, give him a break, sister Suzuran. Men are just lowly life forms who don't care about anything other than perpetuating their testosterone latent image. By protecting us he's actually trying to disguise the fact that he is weak and unable of even protecting himself." Hinako scolded.

"You're such a clever girl, Hinako." Chizuru praised.

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?" Tamaki questioned as he decided to move from his kneeling position in order to stand boldly before the Lobelia girls. Whilst he did this he might've been able to notice me if it weren't for Chizuru and Hinako standing in front of me with their tall stature. When Chizuru and Hinako utterly refused to answer Tamaki's question, he sighed.

"Fine then, what _do_ women like you want to hear?" The prince type asked, his face holding a look of amusement despite his obvious frustration.

"Maybe something like...I would _never _leave my lover alone." A deep, although oddly feminine voice suggested as everyone turned to see another girl in a foreign uniform, only this girl held Haruhi in her grasp.

"If we fight, it will be together. If we fail, we fail together. Even if I were to die, I promise you that I will never leave your side, my love." The Amazonian of a girl chorused as she made various dramatic poses that reminded me of Tamaki, ending with the planting of a kiss on Haruhi's hand.

"Benibara-sama! We thought you'd never show." Hinako acknowledged as she and Chizuru walked out into the hallway, pulling me with them.

"This is the Benibara you've been talking about?" I questioned with wide eyes.

"What ever are we going to do with you? So tell us where you found this lovely lady?" Chizuru inquired, nodding to Haruhi.

"Only if you tell me where you've found yours?" Benibara retorted as she nodded to me.

At the ludicrous attempt at flirting, I blinked and pointed at myself.

"Yeah, silly. What's a sweetheart like yourself doing in a place like this? Your royal disposition doesn't do well in such a feeble atmosphere." Benibara responded smoothly as she stepped towards me.

"We agree Benibara-sama! We found her scouring the hallways angrily! It seems she's been mistreated by the males of this school. We think she'd be better off at Lobelia." Hinako insisted with a well-placed grin.

"Hmm...Well, I found this beauty right outside of the school." Benibara explained, pointing to Haruhi.

"She may be dressed as a boy but I _knew_the truth instantly." She continued.

"She has such pretty, maidenly eyes." Benibara added, caressing Haruhi's face.

"Ugh...thanks, I guess." Haruhi reluctantly replied.

"And what about this one?" Chizuru queried, gently prodding at my cheek.

"She looks so much like a fair princess!" Benibara exclaimed.

I could only blink in confusion, "I do?"

"Of course!" The Zuka club girls exclaimed.

I blushed darkly in response. My blush quickly turned to embarrassment however, as I remembered _why _I looked like a fair princess. For starters, today's theme was _knights. _The hosts were knights and I was their princess. Of course that's not the way our king intended it to be, on the contrary _Haruhi _was supposed to be the princess, leaving me a lonely maid. When Kyouya brought the fact that Haruhi was supposed to be posing as a **boy **to Tamaki's attention, he was quick to have the twins throw me in the changing room and toss a dress in with me. Since I'm really very awful with descriptions, or at least I am most of the time, I feel the need to provide you with a picture...unfortunately I don't have one. So, here goes my pitiful attempt at vivid imagery. -_-

The dress I was currently wearing was a modest, off-the-shoulder, and ultimately lengthy. It's color scheme was that of a simple white accompanied with sanguin ribbons at the bodace order to make my bust the focal point of the porcelain colored mess. My hair was left down in tangled waves of chestnut and I, of course, insisted upon leaving my glasses on.

So as you can see, I'm merely a substitute maid who, as Tamaki lead me to believe earlier, is not quite pretty enough to deserve the title. While I was thinking, the Zuka club girls began rambling to the Host Club who paid no attention to them.

"Mimi-chan, this is kind of weird." Haruhi murmured with a sweatdrop.

"No doubt," I added.

Suddenly a hand slammed down on the wall above Haruhi and I's heads.

"I can't believe they've got such helpless female students involved in their activities..." Benibara sighed overdramatically.

"_What_?" I asked rather blankly.

"I don't care if your President is half or not, but to use flashy looks to create a fictitious love...and to full a pure maidens heart is complete discrimination against females. To call this a club activity and use it for your own greed and profit is totally inexcusable!" Benibara proclaimed.

Suddenly the Zuka club girls had dawned military uniforms as Benibara continued, "I swear...that I will abolish the Ouran Host Club at once!"

Then the three Zuka girls finished with a strong, "_**Hail Zuka club**_!"

Immediately Kyouya sprung to action, "I see. I understand your intention, but could we continue this another time?"

Benibara smirked, "Are you saying you will not face us?"

"No," Kyouya concluded, "But our President is still in bed from culture shock."

It was embarrassing to say the least. Tamaki was snuggled up on a small bed with a teddy bear whilst the other hosts stood around him.

"Ano ne, Tama-chan is a sleepy man right now~!" Honey added rather cutely.

"Get him up!" Benibara screeched, about to burst a blood vessel.

While Benibara was fuming, Haruhi and I decided to make some instant coffee.

When we presented Benibara, Chizuru, and Hinako with three cups of instant coffee they gasped.

"Thank you! How nice of you!" Benibara swooned as the other two Lobelia girls reached for some coffee.

"You two are like jewels in a dunghill!" Chizuru complimented.

"Did she just insinuate that we live in poop?" I murmured to Haruhi in offhanded outrage.

Haruhi merely face-palmed at my hush-hush inquiry.

"This coffee made by fair maidens, possesses such a lovely fragrance!" Benibara declared.

"It's just instant coffee." Haruhi dismissed.

"Then lets have a tea party amongst the five of us!" Hinako suggested.

Suddenly Tamaki awoke and charged at us.

"You guys are wrong! What productivity is there in a love between two women?" Tamaki questioned as I blushed.

"Why do you think God made Adam and Eve?" Tamaki added.

Suddenly he tripped on a banana peel and his finger landed in a scolding hot cup of coffee.

"Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!" Tamaki exclaimed as I gazed on at him in worry. I pulled out some band-aids, but hesitated walking over to him.

"Mimi-chan, I'll take care of him for you." Haruhi offered as I passed her the Band-Aid roll. She walked over to Tamaki and began doctoring him up as I pouted. Geez, if he wasn't such an asshole-idiot-king maybe I would've taken care of him :/

"Looks like it's not even worth a talk," Benibara declared suddenly, standing behind Haruhi.

"Now that we know the state of matters, we cannot leave these two in a club like _this_!" She declared as she cuddle Haruhi.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Chizuru and Hinako standing beside me.

"We shall process their admission papers to Lobelia immediately and bring them to the Zuka club!" Benibara proclaimed.

Everyone gasped as Haruhi sputtered, "P-please wait! I'm sure there are lots of misunderstandings...like saying Tamaki-sempai is a half-"

"Actually," I interrupted dully, "Tamaki-_kun_ is half French, half Japanese."

Haruhi sweatdropped before recovering from her shock, "Well I don't think it's right to make false accusations..."

"Like saying the Host Club has little history and stuff..." She offered.

"Well we don't have any history because this is only our second year." The twins elaborated in a very nonchalant manner.

"This club was established when Milord entered high school..." Kaoru independently added.

Haruhi looked deflated so I spoke up for her, "I think it's at least going over the line to say that this club is for our own greed and profit."

Haruhi's expression brightened a bit as she nodded, "It's not like we're getting money from our customers-" She began only to be interrupted.

"Actually, it's a point system." Kyouya said.

"On our club homepage's net auction, customers can redeem their points for credit towards their items." Kyouya exclaimed.

"That mechanical pencil you used has been auctioned off for 30,000 yen." Kyouya revealed as Haruhi flailed around a bit.

"Aren't you glad?" Kyouya added with a smirk.

"What about me?" I interjected.

"Your belongings are not valuable enough to auction off." Kyouya retorted without even a hint of remorse.

I frowned in response as Haruhi began freaking out about her lead pencil. Kyouya and Haruhi chatted about that particular pencil for awhile and then Tamaki tried to cheer Haruhi up by offering her a teddy bear lead pencil. Naturally Haruhi declined, she was about upset as I was depressed.

"Poor girl, you're in shock because of all their lies!" Chizuru stated sympathetically to Haruhi.

"And you're so unappreciated, aren't you, my sweet?" Benibara questioned to me.

I looked at the floor blankly in response.

"Hey, leave those people and come join us." Hinako suggested happily.

"Hold on a minute, Hinako." Benibara insisted.

"These fair maidens are disturbed right now. We shall come ask them again tomorrow. We look forward to a good response." She announced kindly.

"Well then, adieu!" She called and with that the Zuka Club was gone.

Haruhi turned to glare at the Host Club before grabbing my arm.

"We _too_ shall excuse ourselves for the day." She declared icily.

Then Haruhi proceeded to drag me home.

* * *

The five of us stood blankly in front of the Third Music Room, that is to say Haruhi, Benibara, Chizuru, Hinako and I.

The lights were out which was unusual, suddenly a feminine looking figure stood up.

"Ouran~" called a voice.

"Ouran~" repeated an identical one.

"Ouran~" continued a male voice.

"Ouran~" called another male voice.

"Ouran~" sang an adorable voice.

Suddenly the lights flickered on as a woman with too much make-up shouted, "_**Ouran**_~" overdramatically.

Looking closer, the woman turned out to be Tamaki!

Oh yeah, and the rest of the Host Club, save for Mori, were dressed as females as well.

"Host Club~" The Hosts blurted out melodically.

"Welcome~" They added as the Zuka Club, Haruhi, and I stared at them in shock.

"Haruhi, Mimi-chan, welcome~" Tamaki said politely.

"Haru-chan, Mimi-chan~" Honey greeted.

"I'm a princess!" He called cutely.

"Do I look good?" He asked.

"What's the meaning of this?" Benibara exclaimed angrily.

"Are you insulting our culture?" She asked in frustration.

"Insult? No, of _course_ not." Tamaki assured her

"Everything is as planned, if you're a commoner than this is the ultimate skill that will make crying kids smile, called the 'big extra strategy!'" Tamaki declared.

I could only stare on in confusion at that.

"I'm sure the Lobelia ladies that were carefully brought up wouldn't know, commoners are very susceptible to extras! Indeed Haruhi and Mimi-chan may be attracted by the fascinations of the Zuka Club, but if the two of you choose our club you can have both onee-samas and onii-samas. Yes, it's a scheme of being able to taste what the Zuka Club is like while inside the Host Club!" Tamaki finished, obviously feeling quite clever about the little plan he concocted.

"Look, look Haruhi! Don't I look beautiful?" Tamaki inquired.

"We're the Hitachiin sisters!" Hikaru and Kaoru introduced.

"Which one is more beautiful?" They added.

". . .Something like that." Hikaru finished in a much flatter tone before the both of them laughed, "Ohohoho~"

Suddenly Honey tugged at the hem of my jacket.

"Mimi-chan. You can call me Onee-sama, 'kay?" He whispered in an adorable fashion.

"You think the fair maidens would fall for something like that?" An irked Benibara screeched.

"Don't try to joke either..." She continued as Haruhi and I burst out laughing.

I mean seriously, those womanizers dressed as _women_ themselves...isn't that a bit hilarious?

The Hitachiins and Honey began chasing Haruhi around and ordering her to call them Onee-sama while she laughed.

Meanwhile, Tamaki grabbed my hands.

"Mimi-chan!" He called in a pleasant, high-pitched tone.

"I'll be your female best friend alright? We can spend hours gossiping about _cute boys_ and giving each other makeovers! Ohohoho~" Tamaki offered, flipping his fake blonde ponytail over his shoulder.

I couldn't help but giggle as Haruhi said, "Enough you guys! Why would you do something like this, anyway?"

Hikaru sighed and replied, "Because we want to work in this Host Club with the two of you..."

Haruhi smiled whilst I quirked a brow.

"Don't you mean _with Haruhi_?" I questioned bluntly.

"No with you _too_, silly Mimi." Tamaki added warmly as I blushed.

Benibara started to say something but Haruhi spoke up, "There are many kinds of people in the world, and I _do_ think that your way of thinking is unique and interesting...but I have a dream to accomplish and that's why I came to this school." Haruhi concluded, speaking to Benibara no doubt.

"I never had any intention of leaving Ouran." Haruhi added cheerfully.

"Haruhiii~" Tamaki cooed in adoration.

"Wait, if you never wanted to leave, then why did you get so angry yesterday?" The blonde questioned suddenly, realization dawning on him.

"Anyone would get mad if their stuff got sold! I liked that pencil because it was easy to write with!" Haruhi snapped.

"Sorry…" Tamaki sighed, "But that's why I offered you this bear pencil."

"I said I didn't want that!" Haruhi protested blankly.

"And what about you?" Benibara questioned pointing at me.

I looked around before pointing to myself, "Me?"

The Zuka Club girls nodded.

"Well, I can't say that I never thought about leaving Ouran..." I began sheepishly as the Host Club gasped.

"I mean it's not like anyone would miss me anyway, hell Kyouya would only miss my debt." I scoffed as the Hosts frowned.

"I'd miss you Mimi-chan!" Honey exclaimed.

"Honto, Honto! Me too!" Tamaki screeched I blushed again before clearing my throat.

"Well, despite what I've considered, I don't think I'll _ever_ leave Ouran. I have a debt to pay, and people that I couldn't stand to leave..." I trailed off glancing at each Host, my gaze lingering on Tamaki a bit longer than everyone else.

"So, I'll have to decline your offer." I finished politely.

The Hosts cheered as the Lobelia girls looked appalled.

"Yes, I understand." Benibara began.

"However we will not give up on the two of you. We swear that we will rescue you from this place someday...and destroy the Host Club!" Benibara declared as Chizuru and Hinako nodded.

"Jai Jien!" Benibara saluted and with that the Zuka Club was gone.

Their "OHOHOHO's~" rang through the air as I sighed.

"Crazy freaking lesbians. . ."


	11. Chapter 11: Manwhores

"Are you _serious_?" I felt myself go slack-jawed at the very sight.

"_No_. It can't—I'm not even going to suggest—" Haruhi replied almost instantaneous, gawking at the huge limo quaintly parked outside her apartment complex.

"—That the man-whores are here?" I finished sourly, pursing my lips.

"Ehh..." Haruhi breathed, throwing a sarcastic gaze my way.

"Yes, Mimi. That the _manwhores_ are here." She replied dully.

"Haruhi, don't fret. I mean, aren't you the one studying to be a lawyer?" I inquired with a lopsided grin.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Haruhi questioned bluntly.

"Sue, them. Sue them all to hell! Trespassing, harassment, _stalking_..." I listed, counting off on my fingers.

"MIMI!—" Haruhi began in rebuttal only to freeze.

"Did you hear something, Milord?" Hikaru inquired who, inconveniently enough, was standing a few feet away.

Oh, _crap_.

I cringed as Haruhi, the ever paranoid cross-dresser, pulled the both of us behind a telephone pole.

"Yeah, Haruhi. Because I am _totally_ thin enough—" I began, my tone laced with sarcasm.

"MIMI! Ugh." Haruhi replied, adjusting her armful of groceries so that she could slap a hand to her forehead in exasperation.

"TARGET LOCATED!" Came the chorus of two identical voices I had come to despise.

"Err...RUN FOR IT!"

* * *

"Mimi, I really can't believe you sometimes..." Haruhi sighed.

"I'll pay you back, I promise. But, _gees_ Haruhi what are a few eggs between friends, anyway?" I replied, nudging her in the side.

"Try a few dozen..." The Hitachiin twins spat, both completely covered in yoke and eggshells.

I'll leave what happened up to your _imagination_, mwhahaha ;D

"Sorry~." I began with a shrug.

"And thus we are thoroughly overjoyed to be visiting your humble abode, daughter!" A boisterous voice finished.

"What?" Haruhi inquired with a quirked brow.

Tamaki paled upon realizing that neither of us had paid attention in the slightest.

Before he could explain however. . .

"I _hate_ to say this, Mimi-san. But those yoke stains in the twins clothing will be another addition to your debt." Kyouya spoke up.

"_WHAT THE HELL, OOTORI?" _I bellowed, pointing a finger at the boy.

"Our uniforms are made out of the finest fabrics in the world, but at Ouran we are not accustomed to being barraged by _eggs_ and therefore, there is no guarantee that the material can withstand such stains." Kyouya elaborated.

God, didn't I say I wanted to leave that up to your imaginations? Rich Bastard .

"You freaking—ERR! If they're made of such fine material, they should be able to withstand anything." I pointed out angrily.

"Not quite." The twins spoke up.

"Although commoners need their clothing to endure _poor _conditions—" Hikaru began cheekily.

"_SPEAKING_ OF COMMONERS!" Tamaki interrupted, making sure he was loud enough for everyone and their freaking _mothers_ to hear.

_Speaking of __**idiots**__... -.-'_

"The Host Club and I are pleased to announce that we'll be visiting your home today, Haruhi." Tamaki stated, slinging an arm around her waist.

"Not _even_ if you'd given me earlier warning." Haruhi stated harshly, shrugging him off.

"But we—" Tamaki began with a pout.

"GO HOME!" Haruhi shouted.

"Haruhi, oh my! Are those the _yakuza_? You really shouldn't anger them—"

Pop goes the Landlord Lady, I suppose. xD

"Land-Lady, I-they're not yakuza." Haruhi reassured all hush-hush like to the Landlady.

"So, should I call the cops or not?" The Landlady inquired.

"YES!" I screeched in a pleading tone, clinging to the LandLady.

The Landlady shot me a weird look as did Haruhi.

The Landlady's was a mixture of, "You poor child, do you need love and attention?" and "Are _you_ the one I should be calling the cops on?"

Haruhi's was just sort of like, "Wow."

But for once I became _thankful _for Suoh Tamaki as he suavely waltzed up to the Landlady and promptly wooed her.

"So, Haruhi, about that visit..." Kyouya smirked.

* * *

"This is better than I thought." Hikaru stated, who along with his brother were magically yoke and eggshell free. 0.o

(Rich people -.-)

"HAI! Haru-chan's house is _huge_, ne?" Honey exclaimed, twirling around in the hallway.

"Actually, Haruhi and her family are only in ownership of _one_ of these many units. It's commonly called a Commoner Apartment Complex, not one but _multiple_ families live here." Kyouya retorted smartly.

"And _this_ is where I live. So, you've visited. Now _go_." Haruhi ordered, unlocking the door.

"We'd like to see the inside." The twins stated.

"OhmyGod, Haruhi. Just show them so they can go..." I pleaded with a tired expression.

"Alright." Haruhi stated curtly.

"Saa, that reminds me..." Kaoru spoke suddenly.

"Why are _you_ here, Maid-san?" he finished pointedly.

"Why are _you_?" I shrugged.

"My records show that Haruhi and Mamimi often engage in slumber-parties.

They've had one every Saturday since the fiasco with Renge." Kyouya replied all creepy like.

"And you know this because?" I inquired.

"I have my sources..." he replied mysteriously.

"*Cough*CREEPER!*Cough*"

"Mimi-chan, Mimi-chan~! Are you alright?" Honey called worriedly.

"Of course I am, Honey." I replied fondly, ruffling his hair.

"Okay3" Honey smiled sweetly.

"Shit!" Hikaru called, bumping his head on a light fixture.

"You might wanna duck..." I added carelessly.

"You think?" He replied sarcastically.

Tsk. Tsk. Temper, Temper. xD

Upon entering the kitchen area, Haruhi and I proceeded to put up groceries as the Host Club seated themselves in the floor.

"EVERYONE! MAINTAIN P.E. POSITIONS TO SAVE SPACE!" Tamaki ordered loudly.

Haruhi seethed at this.

"I _want_ them out..." She moaned a tad pathetically.

"Me and you both." I sighed as the Host Club _did_ in fact resume their P.E. positions.

"Haru-chan, Mimi-chan!" Honey called.

Haruhi and I responded almost immediately.

"Yes, Honey?"

"I brought cakey! Chocolate and Strawberry3" Honey said, presenting Haruhi with a cutely wrapped package.

"That was very nice of you, Honey." I called fondly.

"Hai, cakey might help your cough too, Mimi-chan." Honey replied as Kyouya gave me a glare.

"Yes, your cough..." Kyouya stated.

"*Cough*STOPSTARINGATME,CREEPER!*Cough*" I coughed nonchalantly.

"I guess you could stay for tea and cake..." Haruhi said in defeat.

"Uhh, yeah. I want some chocolate cake, Haruhi." I replied in a "duhh" sort of tone.

Haruhi looked at me wide eyed. "Not you too!" was written all over her forehead, so to speak. =P

"OI! HARUHI!" Hikaru spoke up suddenly.

"Here's some Red Tea my father got in Africa." Hikaru continued, hoisting up a tiny orange bag.

"O-Oh, thanks." Haruhi said with wide eyes.

"It's very good with milk." Kaoru added thoughtfully.

"Yare, Yare. How nice. Check for poison, Haruhi. Or gunpowder." I said, whispering the last bit to Haruhi who chuckled.

"Oh, I just bought a carton of milk..." Haruhi stated, placing a finger to her lips in thought.

"YOU FOOLS!" Tamaki exclaimed before pulling the twins to the side and whispering quite loudly to them about not angering Haruhi.

When Haruhi was finished, she served the tea and cake.

Haruhi decided to have strawberry and I decided to have chocolate, naturally.

"Here you go, Haru-chan~" Honey called presenting her with a piece of Strawberry cake.

When Mori shockingly offered up his strawberries to Haruhi, she was delighted.

"Hai, I do like strawberries3~" She replied.

I glanced from her piece of cake to my chocolate one.

"Ehh, Haruhi. Is that Papa?" I inquired with a smirk pointing to behind her.

When she turned, I jacked her strawberries.

"Mwhahaha..." I muttered sneakily.

"PAPA'S RIGHT HERE, MIMI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HARUHI'S STRAWBERRIES?" Tamaki exclaimed like an idiot.

"[1]_Chichi_ wa manuke da!" I replied sourly upon my plans being foiled.

Tamaki paled as Haruhi glowered.

"No, Mimi, those are _my_ strawberries." Haruhi replied childishly taking them back.

I gave her my most irresistible puppy dog pout.

"No."

"Damn it."

"Here." Someone called as I turned to stare at aforementioned idiot in shock.

Tamaki was giving me his strawberries!

"A-Ano, what are you doing?" I cried indignantly, willing the pink on my cheeks to go away.

"You like strawberries too, Mimi." Tamaki said with a smile.

"Y-Y-you're still an idiot." I said before promptly stuffing my face with strawberries.

Luckily my actions went unnoticed by Tamaki as he turned to bother Haruhi.

Unfortunately my flushed demeanor did not go unnoticed by everyone else...particularly two troublesome twins.

* * *

"Ahh, that was a yummy lunch~" Honey called, patting his full tummy.

"Yes, it was _lunch_, wasn't it?" Tamaki called suavely, wiping his face with a napkin.

"Can we stay for dinner?" The twins asked bluntly.

"Yes, I'll order some sushi—" Kyouya began, whipping out his mobile.

"Iie, Iie. It's fine. It'd be rude to have the guest provide dinner," Haruhi protested, fearing her life...er, debt.

"Not a problem." Kyouya replied, pulling out a shiny gold card.

I've always wanted to see a GOLD card in action. . .

But, no. Honey-sempai had to open his cute little cakehole.

"Haru-chan. I'd like to taste the food you cook~" He stated.

The twins and Tamaki were quick to attempt to silence him.

"No problem, I can cook dinner." Haruhi replied kindly.

"YAY~!" Honey cheered, jumping up and down.

"Ahh, but I'd have to run to the supermarket." Haruhi stated.

"Again?" I interjected lazily.

"WE WANT TO GO TO THE SUPERMARKET!" The twins exclaimed almost immediately.

"Me too, Me too!" Honey added.

"Good. This will be a great experience." Kyouya finished.

Everyone went running out the room at this, except Tamaki and myself.

Haruhi was dragged out by the twins, for some reason.

"Tamaki, what the fuck are you doing?" I inquired upon finding him kneeling in front of a picture of Mrs. Fujioka.

"You better not break anything..." I called with a sigh.

"Give me a moment..." He responded seriously.

"I was giving my regards to Haruhi's mother..." Tamaki added after awhile.

"She's really pretty, isn't she?" I questioned with a soft smile.

"Hai, she looks really intelligent too..." Tamaki called fondly.

"That makes sense. Haruhi told me she was a lawyer." I stated matter-o-factly.

"Oh? She must have been really talented." Tamaki noted cheerfully, gazing at the picture.

"Err, yeah." I replied, scratching my neck.

Tamaki blinked and sat the picture down before turning to me.

"Where is your mother, Mimi? Is she a lawyer too?" Tamaki inquired.

"I don't know, really. Obaa-chan and Ojii-chan don't like to talk about it..." I stated awkwardly.

"Are they...?" Tamaki inquired.

"Probably. If not, they might as well be." I replied bitterly.

Tamaki looked down at the ground for a few minutes in silence and then he went to stand up…only to slip on a _banana peel? _Wtf? .

But that wasn't the point.

The _point_ is that this caused a chain reaction that ended in a _very_ pissed off father...

And a very innocent **k i s s** ~!

* * *

**[1]Chichi wa manuke da** - Father is an idiot.

**Source**: Japanese friend.

Yeahhhh.


	12. Chapter 12: Daddy Ranka

**Miracle:** _An extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment._

I'd consider locking lips with King of the Host Club a pretty big accomplishment, wouldn't you?

"MIMIII~CHAN-"

Although in the end, miracles never last -.-

* * *

It was only for a couple of seconds, but his lips were soft against mine. Both of our eyes were wide open with shock, and I might just be crazy but I don't think he was making the least bit of effort to pull away. Well, at least he didn't until _Ranka_ appeared in the doorway.

"MIMIII~CHAN-" He bellowed, eager to see me.

At this sound, Tamaki pulled away leaving a thin strand of saliva present between our once connected lips. Ranka gasped in horror before proceeding to kick Tamaki across the room.

"My baby's been defiled~!" He exclaimed in outrage, cradling me in his arms.

"Ranka-san…" I began, wanting to come to Tamaki's defense.

I looked from the floor to where Tamaki had landed and was surprised to see that he wasn't crying any sort of anime tears or growing mushrooms, but staring blankly at me with a hand pressed to his lips.

"Oh, I've told you time after time to call me Otou-san, pumpkin ~" Ranka smiled, squishing me to his chest.

Oh, I don't think I've informed you as of yet, but no Ranka is not my pimp with a daddy complex. That is to say, I'm not his undercover lover, if that's what you were thinking.

Ranka is Haruhi's _father_, except he's kindofsortof a cross-dresser.

(It runs in the family ;) )

And as it so happens, Ranka is very protective of Haruhi and _me_. Ranka continued to ramble on about some ferocious beast defiling my innocence, keeping me securely in his arms when the twins appeared in the doorway.

"Ne, tono. What's taking so long?" Hikaru questioned, taking a bite of a banana.

"You!" I gasped out in outrage upon seeing the banana peel.

The twins blinked at me blankly before glancing over at Tamaki who remained in his frozen state.

Smirks quickly formed on their symmetrical faces as I ground my teeth in anger.

"Nice, Maid~san!" They grinned, giving me the thumbs up.

"Mimi~chan! Introduce me to your friends." Ranka chirped cheerfully.

"Those actually aren't _my_ friends—" I protested weakly only to be ignored.

"Ohaiyo, Haruhi-papa! We're the Hitachiin Twins ~" They chorused cutely.

At least they're smart enough to know that he's not_ my _dad… -.-'

"Hikaru, Kaoru—I—" Tamaki began, animated once more.

"Ohoho, M'lord. Are _you_ the one who's being unscrupulous today?" They teased knowingly.

"UNSCRUPULOUS?~ No, I—I simply—" Tamaki stuttered out helplessly.

I blushed, managing to glare the twins down as I said, "You two are despicable."

"_You two_ are in love~" Hikaru mouthed, and it seems that only I noticed it.

"What's this about an unscrupulous _beast_ in my house?" Ranka questioned finally, glaring at Tamaki through his peripheral vision.

"He's actually quite a ladies man!" Kaoru chirped out, pointing at Tamaki accusingly.

"He's always surrounded by ladies, and it's a safe bet he likes to…" Hikaru began.

"-_**fool around**_." They both finished evilly.

And _that_, my dear friends, is how Tamaki became public enemy number one in the Fujioka household.

* * *

"Ah, I get it. You must be the Host Club I've heard so much about…" Ranka trailed off.

Instead of going to the market, our trip had been delayed and all, uh.

Hold on let me count:

Haruhi, Ranka, Hikaru, Kaoru, Kyouya, Honey, Mori, Me…

All eight of us were seated around the table whilst Tamaki curled up in a ball in the corner.

No doubt he was probably contemplating disinfecting his mouth as soon as possible.

Fuuuuuuck my life ;|

"Well you certainly are all handsome young men, but I'm not sure which of you I like the most…" Ranka trailed off pleasantly.

"What about you, girls?" Ranka added, addressing both Haruhi and I.

"Well, uhm…" I muttered, taken aback by this question.

"If I remember correctly, you were quite found of Ta—" Ranka began as I slapped a hand over his mouth.

"I like Honey~" I blurted out, clapping my hands together cheerfully.

"Yatta~!" Honey cheered at this.

"Oh, you'd make an adorable couple!" Ranka exclaimed as Honey and I deadpanned.

"Noooo~!" Tamaki cried from his makeshift corner of woe.

I marveled at what his major malfunction could possibly be.

"Anyway, how about you boys go ahead and call me Ranka. That's my name at the Transvestite bar…" Ranka said bluntly.

"Like a stage name?" Honey questioned curiously.

"Exactly like that, Mitsukuni~" Ranka praised, giggling slightly.

Honey blinked in surpise, "How'd you know my name?"

Ranka then proceeded to name off all of the club members and I pondered on how he knew so much.

"Does that mean Haruhi told you about us?" Hikaru questioned, taken aback.

"No, Kyouya told me about you over the phone!" Ranka smiled as Haruhi grew pissed off.

"Oh, and…" Ranka added, wiggling nervously in his seat.

"I happen to overhear Haruhi and Mimi sometimes…" Ranka said, barely above a whisper.

"You _what_?" I exclaimed in outrage, standing up and almost knocking over my tea.

So that's how he knew who I liked…!

Wait, LIKE? Psh, I don't like anyone… _

"You know you really are a beautiful person, Ranka." Kyouya praised, a fake smile plastered across his lips.

"Hai, Ranka-_err_, Otou-san is far prettier than me, even as a Transvestite." I added earnestly, I wish I looked as pretty as Ranka or Haruhi.

"Ohohoho, pumpkin, you flatter me far too much~!" Ranka blushed, hugging me tightly as Tamaki placed a hand on Kyouya's shoulder.

"Kyouyaaaaa…." He called eerily.

"You're so pretty, Mimi-chan ~! You really should have more connnn~fiiii~dence!" Honey cooed out, smiling at me.

I blushed bright red before thanking him softly.

Meanwhile, Ranka was quite busy praising Kyouya.

"You never mentioned this to me, dad! What's this about private phone calls with Kyouya-sempai, and eavesdropping on Mimi-chan and I?" Haruhi exclaimed, her face red with anger.

"What am I supposed to do? You never talk to your dear father anymore!" Ranka cried comically, silently begging us not to be mad at him.

"SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY TO TALK BEHIND MY BACK? TAMAKI-SEMPAI, stop growing mushrooms in other people's closets!" Haruhi exclaimed, seriously pissed off.

"Haruhi, the thing about you is…" Ranka trailed off, and I smiled knowing what he was about to say.

"You're cute when you're angry~" I sang, watching as Ranka promptly glomped her.

Haruhi threw me an "Are you kidding?" look as she was glomped.

"Underrrrcover lesbiannnn?" The twins chorused beep-beep-beeping.

"Hey, you stole that from me!" I retorted in outrage.

"Maybe you should've copyrighted it in the previous chapters." Kaoru shrugged.

"Ranka-san reminds me of someone…" Hikaru said suddenly.

"Eh, maybe that's why Haruhi's so cool with Milord…" Kaoru stated, turning to his twin.

"I'm _leaving_." Haruhi stated pointedly, her teeth clenched in anger.

"Where are you going, Haruhi?" Ranka questioned curiously.

"Mimi and I need to go to the supermarket, by _ourselves_." She ordered, and there was no arguing with her as she dragged me towards the door.

"I suggest you guys stay here and uh, behave?" I questioned utterly bemused as I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

"But we want to go the commoner's supermarket!" The twins protested, their tones full of childish wonder at our common folk ways.

"I wouldn't attempt to argue, she's stubborn and once she makes up her mind…" Ranka began, we failed to hear the rest however as Haruhi pulled me away.

* * *

"Do you think those mushrooms will still be there when we get back?" I questioned, linking arms with my female companion.

"_What_?" Haruhi questioned, laughing at me in disbelief.

"The one's Tamaki-kun grew in your closet~" I stated cheerfully.

"Why?" Haruhi inquired curiously as we reached the entrance of the supermarket doors.

"I like mushrooms…" I smiled.

"**Druggie.**" Haruhi accused with a blank face.

"Iie, Haru! I just, I like the non-trippy mushrooms…and olives too!" I exclaimed, adding the other food as a pleasant little afterthought.

"Well, ano…We could always buy you some sanitary mushrooms at the market?" Haruhi questioned smiling at me.

"YOSH!" I cheered, pumping my fist in the air.

"Obaa-chan never buys them, so this is a rare treat!" I stated and I _swear_ I heard someone gasp.

"Speaking of your Obaa-chan, did she like the cookies I made?" Haruhi questioned, smiling softly.

"Hai! She said you'd put her out of business with your baking skills!" I smiled back at her as I stretched.

You see, Haruhi had baked cookies for me and I shared them with my family who, needless to say, quite enjoyed them.

"Even those terrible twins liked them…" I added reluctant to mention my sisters at all.

I heard a thud and glanced around curiously.

"Eh, whatever…" I called, although I was still a bit suspicious.

"Alright Mimi-chan, this is what we need for dinner tonight…" Haruhi stated, as we got our _shoptillyoudrop_ game faces on.

* * *

**/With the Host Club & Daddy Ranka/**

"FOOLS! SHE SHARED COOKIES WITH YOU?" Tamaki exclaimed in outrage.

"Iie! Iie! I don't know what she's talking about, MiLord!" The twins whispered whilst running away from him.

Tamaki chased after them and fell thus creating a loud thud.

"I really don't like spying…" Honey cried, clinging to Mori.

"Ah, Mitsukuni. But we learn such wondrous information this way!" Ranka whispered, patting Honey's head, although he sounded quite like Tamaki.

"Haru-chan~! I think I heard something…" Mimi shouted from where she and Haruhi were picking out groceries.

Ranka's face paled dramatically at this.

"AH! WE'RE GOING TO BE CAUGHT! THEY'RE GOING TO HATE ME~" Tamaki wailed as Mimi got a small smile on her face.

Kyouya hurriedly pulled Tamaki behind a grocery isle, an anime vein appearing on his forehead.

"I definitely heard something…" Mimi trailed off.

* * *

**/Mimi&Haruhi/**

"Like what?" Haruhi questioned a bit absentmindedly.

"Tamaki-kun~" I sang, twirling around.

"Eto, it's not good when you like a person so much to the point that you start hearing their voice when they're not there…" Haruhi advised sweat dropping at me.

"L-Like?" I stated, in mock shock.

"Don't try to hide it, you sure didn't when you were rambling about it yesterday." Haruhi stated, shrugging as she put some leaks in her basket.

"Too bad he only likes you, ne Haru?" I questioned wistfully, ignoring what she'd previously said.

"You're full of it. -.-'" She sighed, we both were startled however when we heard a bit of clattering and whispering from behind an isle.

"You don't think…" I stated, panic evident in my tone.

"Otou-san…" Haruhi trailed off, clenching her basket so hard her knuckles turned white.

* * *

**/With the Host Club & Daddy Ranka/**

"Did you hear that, MiLord?" The twins questioned.

"My baby girl's all grown up!" Ranka swooned, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Like?" Tamaki questioned his expression blank for the zillionth time that day.

"I-I-I—" Tamaki stuttered out, his face taking on a rosy shade.

"A confession of love~" The twins cackled wistfully.

"I'm so proud, my daughter accepts her daddy now!" Tamaki exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air.

"Imbecile…" Kyouya spat as the majority of the Host club deadpanned.


	13. Chapter 13: Confess!

**THIRD PERSON BBY~ **

"That idiot is so—" Kyouya began, gripping his pen so hard it snapped in two.

"STUPID! Mou, they'll never get together at this rate…" Hikaru and Kaoru chorused.

"We may have to resort to drastic measures I'm afraid…" Kyouya stated, cringing at the very though.

"Drastic measures?" Honey repeated with wide eyes.

Even Mori's usual blank face looked a bit concerned.

"Hai…everyone, it's time to…" Kyouya began, pausing for effect.

"Bring in the _manager._" He finished.

At this, the six of them could swear that they heard lightning strike.

* * *

"Those demonic twins…!" I spat, stumbling around the halls of Ouran Academy.

I was completely pissed off and visionless at the moment, all due to a rousing game of "_Keep Nee-san's glasses away_!" with my little sisters.

There was no doubt that I was probably late for the Host Club.

Due to the fact that I could only see blurry outlines of things, I don't think I'll ever be able to make it on time, either.

Cursing those uncouth twins under my breath once more, I made it down another hallway.

"THERE SHE IS!" A voice exclaimed, startling me so much that I nearly tripped.

I saw the blurry outline of orange and blue before arms wrapped themselves around my waist.

"TARGET ACQUIRED, BOSS!" A voice exclaimed as I panicked.

"HELP! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED! TASKETE, KAMI-SAMA!"

I screamed as I was taken away.

* * *

"Goddamn it, why does this repeatedly happen to me?" I muttered, straining to see my surroundings although I was fairly sure the room was pitch black.

The only thing I could decipher was that I was sitting on something.

"Minamoto Mamimi!" An ominous voice boomed from out of the darkness.

"Uh, h-hai?" I stated meekly, preparing for the worst.

"**We of the Ouran Host Club give you our full support**!" The voice finished as a light clicked on.

I could make out blurry outlines of what appeared to be people.

"Host club…? AH! Sumaimasen! I have a reason for being late…!" I pleaded from my seat.

Although I was unable to see it, the Hitachiin twins rolled their eyes at me.

"Renge, what's the point of all this?" A voice scoffed.

I was familiar enough with it to understand that it was one of the twins.

"Don't question my methods!" The booming voice commanded.

"It is most important that the heroine is aware of the side characters unwavering support in the quest to claim her love interest's heart…!" The voice continued.

"…_what_?" I questioned with a quirked brow.

"Mimi," Stated a much less idiotic voice as I turned in what I figured was the direction of the voice.

"Uhh…Haruhi?" I guessed.

"Hai. What Renge is trying to say is that—" Haruhi began only to be interrupted.

"We _know_ about your feelings for our King!" The twins chorused.

Immediately, my face took on a horrified expression.

"WHAT? I—I don't know what you're talking about!" I assured them.

"Sure you do, Maid-san~" One of the twins assured, and I felt a weight on my shoulder.

"Mimi-san, to be honest, we've known all along, your confession at the supermarket just confirmed it." Another voice stated smartly.

"SO YOU **WERE** LISTENING!" I explained, recognizing the voice as Kyouya's.

"And recently all my plans to bring the two of you together have…" The Shadow King continued, ignoring my accusation.

"-failed." Haruhi finished as Kyouya simply scoffed.

"So we asked Renge-chan for help, ne~ ?" Cooed a voice I knew belonged to Honey.

"TIME FOR THE NEXT STEP!" Renge ordered.

"What exactly would _that_ be?" I questioned in disbelief.

"HITACHIINS, DO YOUR THING!" Renge exclaimed in reply.

* * *

"I had _better_ not look like a whore!" I spat, running my hands along the dress the twins had forced me to wear.

Naturally, the next step was to get me all dolled up for reasons beyond my explanations of course; especially since I still could barely see what was going on.

"GOOD JOB!" The twins explained, congratulating one another.

"Bravo, Hikaru! Kaoru! Now, the final phase of our plan is at hand!" Renge shouted in excitement.

"What would that be, exactly?" Haruhi questioned with a quirked brow.

"THE CONFESSION!" She chirped.

Everyone deadpanned at this.

"You enlisted the help of a crazed otaku just for _this_?" Haruhi inquired blankly.

"For her to come up with the exact same plan that we've attempted before, only a little more direct?" She continued.

"Shut up." Kyouya ordered simply, keeping his cool.

"Confession? Not again! No, sir! I'm—" I said, putting my hands up in protest.

"You _will_ confess to him!" Renge exclaimed evilly, shoving me towards the door as I gulped, agreeing out of fear.

"Now!" She exclaimed, pausing for what I'm guessing was to turn to the hosts.

"**GIVE HER YOUR SUPPORT**!" She demanded.

"GANBATTE, MAMIMI!" The hosts cheered simultaneously I was shoved out the door.

* * *

"What does she expect me to do? I mean honestly…" I muttered, awkwardly rubbing my arm.

I couldn't really make out my surroundings that well, but I was sure I was in the Third Music Room, which means the Hosts had simply kidnapped me into the storage room/ back room.

"Helloooo, is anyone there?" I questioned nervously, glancing around the room.

"_Kirimi…!_" A voice whispered.

"Fillet?" I repeated with a WTF expression plastered upon my face.

Suddenly a figure appeared in my crappy line of vision.

"Tamaki…?" I drawled.

The figure was tall, blonde, and presumably handsome.

It looked like their clothing was blue, as in the Ouran Uniform, and I'm pretty sure Tamaki is the only blonde boy student that attends this school…

The figure said nothing in reply, he was probably marveling over how retarded I look.

Biting my lip, I imagined how angry Renge would be if I kept my feelings pent up, so with a shaky breath, I parted my lips to speak.

"…Watashi wa _a-anata ga suki desu[1]!_" I stuttered out pathetically as I was met with about a zillion gasps.

"Mimi?" The voice of none other than Suoh Tamaki whispered, and I was pretty damn sure that the voice did not belong to the blonde stranger standing before me.

Like I said earlier,

**Why does this repeatedly happen to **_**me**_**? ):**

* * *

**[1] Watashi wa anata ga suki desu- **Basically, it's like _I like you_ all polite and formal like. :D More or less. If the meaning strays a little from what I perceive it to be, you can blame it on the fact that my one-stop shop for Japanese knowledge and I no longer talk.


	14. Chapter 14: Roses

"I'm _such_ a coward…" I muttered scathingly, glaring at my reflection.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going?"

Apparently, I'm one _tough_ teenaged girl.

Or at least, I **must** be according to how fast I ran out of the third music room yesterday.

Yes, dear readers, probably to your _utter_ disappointment, I did not linger around to determine who I'd confessed to, nor did I stay to hear the humiliating laughter that the Host Club was sure to produce.

Nor did I go to school the next day.

_Cluck. Cluck_. I'm a chicken. _

"Mimi! I won't have you missing another day due to the _sniffles;_ you bring shame upon our family name if you let little things like that get to you! Now, get a move on lest you be late!"

Ah, Obaa-chan is such a compassionate soul.

But then again, she didn't really know what went down…

All she knows is that when I got home I felt awful and my nose was running up a storm.

"NEE-SAN'S GOT ICKIE GERMS!"

The twins shouted as I inwardly sighed.

"Move along, spawn of Satan. I don't want to deal with you today…"

They blew a raspberry at me in reply.

And somehow, I could just tell that today was going to be a _great_ day.

* * *

For some reason or another, Tamaki chose to ignore my existence, even as I sat next directly next to him in class.

So, instead of paying attention to the teacher, I merely stared at him, attempting to work up enough courage to say something, _anything_.

"Ah, ano…" I muttered, swallowing my fears.

Tamaki didn't even so much as glance at me out of the corner of his beautiful amethyst eyes….

"T-Tamaki—" I squeaked, meekly raising a hand in his general direction.

"MINAMOTO MAMIMI!" The teacher hissed as I jumped.

"S-Sensei, I—I-" I stuttered, feebly searching for an excuse.

"Calm down, sweetheart. These have been delivered for you!" The teacher beamed at me, clutching something behind her back.

"Delivered, _what_ exactly?" I retorted skeptically.

Without replying, sensei revealed a bushel of roses from behind her back.

And these were not just any roses, no, these roses were _black_.

You know what, though? They did something I could not:

They caught _Tamaki Suoh_'s attention.

* * *

"I think someone wants to kill me…" I murmured to Kyouya as we headed towards our next class, a silent Tamaki in tow.

"What?" Kyouya looked at me in disbelief as I gingerly held a black petal between my thumb and forefinger.

"Black roses symbolize death and hatred, Kyouya-kun." I explained.

"I know that, but first and _foremost_, they are a well-known representation of **black magic**, ne?" He replied, his gaze shifting over to Tamaki.

The both of them shared a look, like they knew something that I didn't.

"Black Magic? What would that have to do with anything?" I questioned naively.

Kyouya smirked as he shoved his hands into his pockets suavely.

"Oh, I don't know." Kyouya shrugged.

"Show up for work today and we may _all_ find out." He admitted, a certain mysterious feeling lingering behind his words.

* * *

For some reason, putting my maid uniform back on brightened my mood despite the feeling of dread I felt from the day before yesterday's crazy, unfavorable antics; And also, despite my feeling of curiosity that Kyouya had left me with.

"Yosh. . ." I breathed, my voice echoing in the empty back room of the Host Club headquarters.

"Let's do this!" I shouted, giving myself a pep-talk of sorts.

"You know, talking to yourself is a sign of insanity." Two identical voices chorused as I gritted my teeth.

"Perverts! I could have still been _changing_!" I hissed, shaking my fist at the smirking Hitachiin twins leaning against the doorframe.

"It's not like you have anything to offer" Hikaru replied as I cringed.

"Of course…" I sighed, heading towards the door.

"Buck up, Maid-san! Good things are bound to happen today!" Kaoru reassured me as the both of them slung their arms over my shoulders.

And there it was again, that "I know something you don't," vibe. Except this time, it was radiating from the twins.

* * *

I suspected that Kyouya was going to expect that I work extra hard today due to yesterday's absence, but that was not the case today as I entered the Third Music Room.

The majority of the hosts were crowded around one of the luxurious red couches, thus leaving their own customers unattended at their tables.

"What's everyone doing?" I inquired as I quirked a brow at them.

"Mimi-san," Kyouya called curtly as the sea of hosts presumably parted.

"You have been requested."

And to my utter surprise, seated awkwardly upon the luxurious red couch…was none other than Nekozawa Umehito?

And suddenly I understood what Kyouya had been on about earlier.

"…_but first and foremost, they are a well-known representation of __**black magic**__, ne?"_


	15. Chapter 15: Banished

"Neko—Nekozawa-kun? What's going on?" I stuttered out as Nekozawa locked gazes with me, his bright blue eyes burning holes in my self-confidence.

A bit of color found its way onto his cheeks as he ignored my question.

"I trust you received my roses…?" He questioned slowly.

"A-Ah, your roses?" I retorted with wide eyes.

"Y-yes, although we have not spoken much…upon receiving your confession I—" Nekozawa continued as I almost tripped over my own two feet.

"My confession?" I paled.

"Iie! I confessed to this pretty blonde guy!" I protested dumbly, shaking my head in disbelief.

"This is a wig." He muttered, grasping at his dark black locks.

"But I don't understand, I –" I began, blinking at him.

Abruptly he rose from his seat and took several graceful steps towards me.

"Mamimi-san, if you'll accompany me to the black magic room. I can explain everything to you…" He trailed off, ever so gently taking my hand.

Of course, this brought about many whispers from the surrounding customers.

"**No**." A voice commanded loudly and quite sternly as everything went quiet.

"Take the hand of the devil, and you will only get _burned, _**cursed**. No daughter of mine will be permitted to venture into _his_ clutches!"

I looked fearfully at the boy of my true affections, Suoh Tamaki, as he stood, glaring fervently in Nekozawa's general direction.

Beside me, I heard Nekozawa take a sharp intake of breath as his gaze fell to the floor, seeming ashamed of himself.

At this, I pursed my lips.

"Tamaki, you're being _stupid_. Nekozawa is just a human being…" I defended, my voice raising an octave.

Tamaki let out a short, scathing laugh.

"Of course, how could I forget? You not only took the hand of the devil, you _fell_ for him!" He accused, pointing a finger at me.

The room broke out in whispers once more.

That idiot.

Why can't he—Why can't he _see_?

Heat rushed to my face, in embarrassment and humiliation.

"Y-Yeah? And what if I _did_?" I spat, tightening my grip on Nekozawa's hand.

Tamaki looked completely taken aback as his face turned cold and loathing, a far cry from the Tamaki Suoh I was used to seeing.

"Minamoto Mamimi, I _banish_ you from the Host Club!" He proclaimed.

At this, even my fellow club members gasped.

"He can't do that, can he? He's not that omnipotent!" Haruhi cried in outrage.

Hikaru and Kaoru put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Milord's word is law." Hikaru replied.

Tears rushed to my eyes.

"Tamaki! You _idiot_!" I repeated, letting Nekozawa's hand fall.

I turned my back to him, and pushed through a group of nosy customers, making a beeline for the door.

Why can't he see that _I love him_?

* * *

/**TAMA-CHAN TIME**/

Tamaki's breathing was heavy and labored as he fell back into his _throne-like_ chair.

Although his thoughts were screaming, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?" he remained expressionless.

"Tama-chan…?" Honey called, tugging at the Host Club King's sleeve.

The poor Loli-Shota's eyes filled with tears as he looked up at him.

"You can't banish Mimi-chan, _you can't_!" Honey pleaded.

In response, Tamaki tore his gaze—as well as his arm, away from Honey.

"Everyone," Kyouya called over all the commotion.

Abruptly, the customers and club members alike turned to look at him.

"Due to the fact that our King is not thinking clearly, I'm afraid that the Host Club will be closing _early_ today." Kyouya continued with a sigh.

He nearly cringed upon adding, "_Refunds_ will be issued tomorrow."

Tamaki's faced contorted into an angry expression at this.

How _dare_ Kyouya accuse him of not thinking clearly, how _dare he_.

"Kyouya—" He began, his voice filled to the brim with outrage.

"Not now, Tamaki. Wait until the _customers_ leave." Kyouya replied calmly as he gestured to a few of the customers who still lingered within the room.

The twins did a wonderful job of making sure all of the pretty ladies left the room, and once that had been accomplished, they abruptly pulled the double doors shut.

Tamaki could wait no longer to make his outrage known.

"Kyouya! How dare you, I'm thinking perfectly!" He roared, knocking a few teacups off a nearby table.

"Are you, Tamaki? Because if you were thinking reasonably, you might note that despite whatever disagreement the two of you are having, Mimi-san is a valuable member of the club—" Kyouya retorted, pausing to readjust his glasses.

Tamaki almost gasped at the fact that Kyouya was defending her.

"-And her debt is simply something that can not be overlooked should this club wish to succeed." Kyouya finished.

"What's even more imbecilic is your reasoning behind it." Haruhi scoffed.

"Imbecilic? Hardly! It's a bad idea to go fraternizing with Nekozawa! He'll curse her into oblivion! But she just wouldn't listen to me—" Tamaki shouted, pointing a shaky finger at poor pitiful Nekozawa who hadn't left the room when he had the chance.

"Milord," The twins called suddenly, interrupting him.

"Whilst we all will loyally follow you in whatever decisions you make…" Hikaru began, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Do you really think that _that's_ the reason you're so angry? So hurt?" Kaoru finished, mimicking his brother's stance.

"Hurt…?" Tamaki repeated doubtfully.

"Tamaki…" Haruhi replied, almost sympathetically.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." Tamaki stated indignantly.

Kyouya scoffed and rolled his eyes a bit.

"Forget it, everyone. We'll leave the King to his _tantrums._" Kyouya spat.

And regrettably, the rest of the hosts filed into the back room in order to retrieve their belongings.

Utterly alone now, Tamaki sank down in his seat and sighed whilst he mumbled what he had been secretly thinking all along.

"_What have I done_…?"


	16. Chapter 16: I Miss You

**/ TAMA-CHAN TIME/**

"_Irashaimasen_…"

Welcome had never sounded so, so _wrong._ And certainly not so incomplete, either…

Or at least, that's what Tamaki thought.

It was one of the few things, besides _her_ absence, that he was able to make note of lately.

He hardly even noticed when three beautiful girls took him by the hand and whisked him away to the safety of a red luxurious couch.

"I was so worried about Tamaki-kun…"

Tamaki forced a smile, this _was_ his cue after all.

Almost robotically, he drew her closer.

She was a regular of his; a beautiful girl with a bright smile and big doe eyes.

"It was I who worried about **you**, _princess…_" Tamaki murmured into her ear.

She blushed, as he expected. Not that he was _vain_ or anything, it was just how girls seemed to be around him.

"O~oh, Tamaki…" She sighed.

"Saa, would any of you like some more commoner coffee?"

The twins' loud symmetrical voices distracted him and he found himself looking through the girl in his arms, over to where the Hitachiin twins entertained their guests.

"I'd like some more…"

"Me too, Hikaru !"

"Oh, and don't forget about me!"

"Right," Hikaru called loudly, carelessly wrapping an arm around his brother.

"MAID-SAN—"

It took Tamaki off-guard when Hikaru, registering his mistake, turned to stare directly into the eyes of the surprised Prince-Type and said simply:

"**Oops**…"

* * *

"Come again tomorrow!" The twins exclaimed cheerfully to the retreating forms of their guests.

"And bring me some of that special cakey, Rena-chan!" Honey added fondly to a retreating redheaded girl.

"What special cakey?" Haruhi inquired curiously.

"HARUHI! YOU'RE SO CUTE!" The twins cooed, wrapping their arms around her.

"I didn't even _do_ anything!" Haruhi protested.

"You didn't have to." Hikaru reassured her.

Tamaki stared.

Of course she did something.

They were _all_ doing something – doing it again.

They were acting so normal!

And as Tamaki figured, they had no right to.

Especially not after giving him the third degree merely **two** days ago!

"Milord's being quiet again…" The twins noted.

"Maybe he's thinking…" Haruhi proposed.

Cue immediate and numerous bouts of laughter. :|

Tamaki ground his teeth together and his hand itched a bit.

"What are you thinking about, _tono_?" The twins decided to humor him.

They stood on either side of him, their arms swung over his shoulders in a friendly manner.

Tamaki's temper flared and he was about to give in to their shenanigans until…

_Of course_! Tamaki thought. _That's it!_

Those sneaky twins, they were testing him!

They wanted him to admit that he missed her, that he regretted it.

Tamaki Suoh was many things, but _stupid_ was not one of them…

"I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING! _ANYTHING! DO YOU HEAR ME?_" Tamaki exclaimed, pushing them away.

The twins exchanged smirks.

"Loud and clear, milord."

* * *

**/ MIMI TIME /**

"He misses you…"

I sighed.

"Haru, _spare_ me."

"It's true, really! Today the twins—" Haruhi began frantically, forcing open my front door.

"Haruhi! Really, it's okay. I understand. I've moved on…" I reassured her, shutting the door and trying to ignore the fact that I must've looked a mess in my sweatpants, oversized t-shirt, messy hair, and crooked glasses.

(Needless to say, I'd stayed home _sick_…AGAIN.)

"It's not okay, Mimi. Our family is **broken!**" Haruhi bellowed, giving me a stern look.

"Since when did you learn to be so dramatic? Have you been hanging 'round with Renge again…?" I inquired whilst I gave her a level-headed gaze.

At this, her face broke into a small, barely noticeable grin.

"You couldn't even pay me to do that."

"I thought as much, but back to the matter at hand: The Host Club family—" I nearly cringed, when I had to refer to the family in particular as anything but my own.

"—is _not_ broken. Tamaki's the dad, Kyouya the mom. They have plenty of _sons_, and you're their star daughter. A lousy coffee maid does not keep a family together, in most cases, they DESTROY it…" I explained, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose.

"That's only in those sleazy movies in which the father falls for the _coffee maid_, which, might I add, is a pretty accurate description of what's going on now. Save for the "DESTROY IT" part, that is…" Haruhi retorted with a smirk.

My face took on a pink tint at this preposterous theory.

"Don't turn this around on me and—and _that guy._ Haruhi, you have to understand, he banned me from the family. And around here, TAMAKI'S WORD IS LAW!" I screeched at her, plopping down in a chair.

Leave it to Haruhi to not let things be…

Or rather:

Leave it to Haruhi to add salt to the wound…

"Since when did you learn to be so dramatic? Have you been hanging 'round with Renge again…? " Haruhi mocked, putting a hand on her hip.

I scoffed before throwing a pillow at her.

"_Please_, I learnt from the best_!_" I stated cockily, an image of a beautiful blonde immediately coming to mind.

_Tamaki. . ._


	17. Chapter 17: Love

**/TAMA-CHAN TIME/**

_I'm going to keep my cool._

_I'm going to keep my cool._

_I'm going to keep my cool_—

"WHAT'D YOU GUYS DO?"

"H-Haruhi…?" Tamaki quivered.

His gaze immediately shifted from the wall to the group of hosts huddled around a tea table.

"It's not out fault." The twins stated calmly.

At this, Tamaki's interest was peaked and he could no longer keep his princely cool.

"What have you unscrupulous twins done?" He hissed, bounding over to them.

The twins were quick to slap a hand over his mouth.

"Shh!" They shushed him before pointing their index fingers in the direction of a peacefully sleeping Haninozuka Mitsukuni.

"What…?" Tamaki muttered from behind a pale masculine hand.

It was then, that his amethyst eyes took note of the scene of the crime.

Usa-chan was covered in tea.

"SCOUNDRALS! YOU'RE THE ONE'S WHO KNOCKED IT OVER, RIGHT?"

Tamaki called, pointing to the tea cup that was tilted over.

"SHH!" The Hitachiins chorused for a second time, glaring pointedly at the King.

"Besides, it was only because Haruhi was running away…" Hikaru added quietly.

He removed his hand from Tamaki's oversized mouth and wiped the spittle upon his pants leg.

Tamaki looked at them with a look that willed them to explain.

"We wanted to have some fun by having her do a little cosplay…"

Tamaki wanted to hit them; to punish them for that statement.

He was surprised however, when he could muster no anger…

_How odd…_He thought, straightening his uniform tie.

"We're always cosplaying, you know." Tamaki stated simply.

The twins were frozen in shock.

And this time, it was Tamaki's turn to smirk.

_I am going to keep my cool._

* * *

It wasn't much later that Tamaki's sudden cool demeanor…failed him.

And it was all because the twins had managed to bring her up, _again_.

And this time, they didn't even have to speak of her!

But nonetheless, these thoughts of her? They were _their_ doing.

"_A good portion of our club members are—er, were the dreaded AB."_

And as Kyouya's best friend, Tamaki knew who they were exactly.

Honey, Kyouya, and _Mimi_. All of them blood pressure demon lords…

"FOOLS! UNSCRUPULOUS TWINS!" Tamaki screeched, although he quite intended to murmur.

"Ungh…."

Tamaki, the twins, and Haruhi visibly paled as the sleeping shortie awoke from his slumber.

With Usa-Chan still in a lackluster state, Tamaki hurriedly tossed his stuffed bear towards Honey.

When Honey rose into a sitting position only to see the Kuma-Chan, he was not pleased.

When Kuma-Chan landed with a crash against the window, Tamaki cried out.

"AAGH! MY BEAR! MY KUMA-CHAN!" He exclaimed worriedly.

"WE'RE NEXT! WE'RE NEXT!" The twins cried, and Tamaki, through his own panic, was able to take pleasure in the sight of those quaking twins.

Tamaki stood, taking slow and steady steps towards the table where his beloved Usa-Chan lay.

"Who's the one who got my Usa-Chan dirty?" He questioned quietly, lifting Usa-Chan up.

"S-S-SAVE US, MORI-SEMPAI!" Tamaki and the twins implored.

Like magic, Mori appeared.

"Usa-Chan said that he simply had to drink some tea." Mori offered.

"So ka! So that's why Usa-Chan's face is all dirty!" Honey said, smiling brightly.

"Oh, do you think he wants some cake too?" Honey inquired cutely.

Tamaki deadpanned. "That's all it took…?"

* * *

"**All sweets are banned from the Host Club!"**

As Tamaki said this, he himself was filled with dread.

The atmosphere was much different from when it had been earlier.

And the room was quite for a while, before whispers broke out amongst the customers.

All of them, even him, felt suddenly reminiscent of the day Minamoto Mamimi was banned.

"No! SWEETS CAN'T BE BANNED!" Honey cried, tears welling up in his almond eyes.

Tamaki sighed, but knew it had to be done.

That is to say, that Honey-sempai had a toothache. And until it was fixed, that was _that_.

* * *

**/MIMI-CHAN TIME/**

"It's _her_! It's her, everyone!"

My name is Minamoto Mamimi.

For those of you who have not heard from me in awhile.

Let me just say this: _First days back __**suck**__._

It does not matter if it's the first day back to school from break, if it's your first day back in town from vacation…or, in cases like my own, if it's your first day back from faking sick.

And you would honestly think that these huge GOSSIP BEES had more to talk about than little old me. But oh _no_, I'm the talk of the town. Go me. 3 D;

"I heard that she dated Nekozawa, BEHIND TAMAKI'S BACK, and then broke up with him because she got kicked out of the host club. So he hexed her so that she'll bring misfortune to whoever she knows. Who knew it would start with Honey, though…"

I suspect that they would've said more, but they fell silent once I passed Tamaki and succeeded in not making eye contact. I went straight past him, and headed for my seat beside of him…only to find a pretty blonde girl where _I_ should be.

"Ano, what are you doing?" I muttered, looking at her with caution.

She turned to me and smiled.

"Sensei moved me so that I could see the board better…By the way, I'm Jun!" She replied pleasantly and flashed me a smile that clearly expressed her superiority.

I felt multiple gazes upon me but I tried to keep cool.

"So where do _I-I _sit?" I inquired, straightening my glasses.

Silently she turned to glance at an empty seat next to a chubby, sleeping boy.

"Great…" I sighed, heading towards it.

So I'm gone a couple days and I get ridiculed, **banned**, forgotten, and replaced?

**Way** to go, _Ouran._

* * *

**/TAMA-CHAN TIME/**

Even as she sat as far as possible away from him in the back of the room…

Even as a pretty blonde who had stolen her seat, tried desperately to get his attention…

Tamaki couldn't keep his mind off of Mimi, as per usual. And it was quite annoying.

He supposed that it was normal for fathers to mourn over the loss of their daughters, but this? _This_ was a tad ridiculous and it continued to grow on the scale of ridiculous as the day progressed and Tamaki was forced to see Mimi in every single one of his classes.

So, naturally, he was relieved when Host Club rolled around.

"I WANT CAKEY!"

Well, not exactly _relieved._

"Honey-sempai…" A customer gasped, shocked at his behavior.

"Please, _please_ get me cakey…" Honey begged, crawling over to the aforementioned customer.

"Oh, of course Honey…" The girl began, falling for his pitiful appearance.

"Ah, hime-chan. I'm afraid that simply cannot be done…" Tamaki sighed, waltzing over to the pair. Tamaki had known it would be tough, seeing as how Honey was so stubborn about his love for sweets. And he was going to take responsibility for following-up with his decisions - ALL of them.

The customer, as expected, was smitten over Tamaki's intervention.

"Yes, of course, Tamaki-kun. It is what's best for Honey, I'm sorry…" The customer replied, directing the last part of her statement towards the crazed Loli-Shota.

Honey looked up at Tamaki with a mixture of annoyance and something like…hurt.

"Honey-sempai…?" Another customer called worriedly.

"YOU IDIOT!" Honey exclaimed suddenly, shoving past Tamaki.

Once again, Tamaki was reminded of Mimi.

"Honey!" Haruhi called in outrage.

Kyouya was smart enough to notice a tantrum when he saw one, and quickly began to usher all the customers out.

"I _want cakey_. I want sweets! I want you to un-ban them!"

Honey began, jumping up and down.

"Mitsukuni-" Mori began, reaching for the blonde.

"No, Takashi! He needs to hear this!" Honey shouted back, pausing to clutch at his cheek in pain.

Tamaki could do nothing but stare.

"And most importantly, **I want you to un-ban my Mimi-chan**!"

The room went completely quiet at this as Tamaki pursed his lips.

"I won't go back on my decisions." Tamaki added firmly.

And although everyone thought that it was final, HONEY did not.

"It's not fair that you get to ban Mimi, Tama-chan. We all love her, every single one of us in the Host Club!" Honey cried, keeping eye contact with the taller blonde.

Tamaki sighed.

"Honey—"

"We love her too." The twins chirped.

"She's my best friend." Haruhi added softly.

"Hm." Mori grunted in agreement.

"She's been very beneficial to the club." Kyouya offered.

"I'm. Not. Going. Back. On. My. Decisions." Tamaki replied, cringing at their caring confessions.

"Tama-chan ….do you know why you banned her?" Honey said after a moment or two of awkward silence.

"Because she was a disobedient daughter…." Tamaki responded immediately.

"No, Tama-chan! Its because-It's because even you _love Mimi-chan_!" Honey shouted.

"Honey, that doesn't make any sense—" Tamaki began feebly.

"You _love_ her Tama-chan. And you were **jealous**…" Honey finished, his voice growing quieter.

Tamaki looked to each of his fellow hosts, looking for a hint of joking in their expressions.

"I…" Tamaki began, searching for something to say.

"The Host Club is adjourned for today." He announced finally.

And that was all he could manage to say before he turned, and _left_ the Third Music Room.


	18. Chapter 18: Like a Father Should

It was now Tamaki's turn to fake sick, and it was a tough job too, getting his maids, butlers, and caretaker to believe it…

But at the very least he didn't have to fake being miserable.

And with all the thoughts floating around in his head, he didn't have to fake a massive headache either.

So, instead of being at school right now, looking at his beloved ex-daughter from afar…Tamaki lay sprawled across his luxurious bed, his pajamas still in tact.

"Mimi…" Hee muttered, glancing up at the patterns on his ceiling. Ones that at the moment seemed to resemble bunnies and hearts and bears. OH MY!

"_You love her Tama-chan. And you were __**jealous**__…"_

Tamaki cringed as yesterday's memory reared its ugly head.

He tried to tell himself that he didn't know what on earth the Haninozuka was talking about, but deep down inside he really couldn't rule this possibility out.

"A father is _supposed_ to love his daughter…" He muttered, flipping open and closed his cell phone repeatedly.

"But he is _not_ supposed to have favorites…" He clarified, thinking back to that day at the beach. _Yes_. Tamaki thought. _That's very un-fatherly._

_However! A father is supposed to be protective._ _But_. Tamaki cringed. _So is a lover._

"Argh! This is getting me nowhere!" Tamaki snarled, grasping at his blonde locks.

He thought harder for a minute, before a grin broke out upon his features.

"I've got it!" He declared, dialing a number.

* * *

**/KYO KYO KYO!/**

"So if you take this and multiply it by—"

Bzzzzzt! Bzzzzt!

Kyouya's eyes visibly widened as his pocket began to vibrate.

Immediately he felt agitated that he couldn't pay attention to the teacher.

Not that he ever really did, since he already knew all that this particular math class had to teach, but he still liked to keep up a good show, act like the model student.

Sneakily, he reached down and slid his cell phone out of his pocket, cleverly hiding it behind his propped up math textbook.

He glanced down at the caller i.d. slightly and nearly snapped his cell phone in two.

_Tamaki_…! .

"Hello?" Tamaki immediately perked up at the sound of his best friend's voice on the other line.

"Okaa-san…I _need_ you." Tamaki wailed into the phone.

"Keep it down, you imbecile! I had to sneak off to the bathroom in order to take your stupid call! Aren't you supposed to be _sick_ anyway?" Kyouya replied skeptically.

"Okaa-san! I'm _love-sick_! Or I'm, I'm sick of love! I don't know what to do…" Tamaki sputtered into the phone.

Kyouya sighed.

"Talk clearly and _slowly…_"

Tamaki nodded, although Kyouya couldn't see it.

"Ah, Kyouya…" He began, gently biting his lower lip.

"How do you know…if you're in love?"

And instead of snapping the phone in two, Kyouya nearly dropped the phone all together.

"I don't—I've never been in love, idiot. I wouldn't know, of course!" Kyouya exclaimed, a faint blush coming to his cheeks.

"Please, Kyouya…?" Tamaki muttered, seeming to be the most serious Kyouya had ever heard him.

"I…well, I do believe my sister's given me enough information to know the basics…" Kyouya said somewhat uncomfortably.

"YOSH!" Tamaki exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air.

"Alright, well…how often do you think of Mamimi?" Kyouya asked carefully.

Tamaki sputtered. _All the time._ "Why would you think it's her?"

"Tamaki, it's easy to see. Honey was just the first to get it through that thick skull of yours…"

When Tamaki said nothing and merely blushed in reply, Kyouya continued.

"Does your heart beat speed up? Or, do you find yourself staring at her quite often?"

Tamaki gulped. _Yes._ "A lot." He admitted sheepishly.

Kyouya sighed, withholding a smile.

"Tamaki, I don't even need to ask any more questions to determine what we've all already known…." He began softly.

"Nani…?" Tamaki drawled out in confusion.

"You don't love her like a _father_ should, Tamaki. I'll leave the rest up to you."

And with that, Kyouya hung up.

And for once in his life, Tamaki understood.

Well, a little bit, anyway.


	19. Chapter 19: Cougar

Sluggishly, I stumbled into our kitchen.

Unfortunately, I was greeted not by the scent of breakfast but of floral delights.

"What, the, f—heck?" I questioned, my gaze flickering around the room to the vases of red roses, the chocolates, and the jewelry scattered throughout my kitchen area.

"Obaa-chan…?" I drawled hesitantly, wondering if we'd won the Japanese lottery or something of the sort.

"Oho, dearest granddaughter! How dare you forget to tell me how popular you are with these Ouran gentleman…"

My Obaa-chan exclaimed as I was captured in a hug and squished against her bosom.

"What's that supposed to meAN?" I mumbled, pulling away from her.

"Well, clearly you didn't think _I_ got all this for you." She replied, slapping me heartily on the back.

I gasped whilst giving the room a double take, "…for me?"

"Hai, don't act silly! I don't want you taking after your piece of crap Ojii-san again!"

Obaa-chan scowled and I heard a string of curse words come from somewhere else in the house. Therefore, Ojii-san is awake.

"Onee-chan!"

"We're highly impressed with you today~"

I paled as two ivory appendages slithered around my shoulders.

"Brats," I nodded curtly, preparing myself for their onslaught of taunts.

"Perhaps they've got the wrong Mamimi, sister?" Aya began grinning ever so slightly.

"Perhaps. After all, the card was addressed to a _princess_ and what we've got here is a foul-tempered pauper…" Anzu replied snidely.

Immediately, my eyes widened.

"Card? What card? Give it here, delinquents!" I hissed, capturing them in a headlock despite my rather weak disposition.

"Itai! Itai! Fine, take it!" My sisters chorused, shoving a frilly pink envelope in my face.

I grinned, promptly releasing them from my hold.

As I pulled the contents of the envelope out, the twins began ransacking my "gifts" from a so far anonymous party.

"Meanwhile, Onee-chan. You prefer boys over presents, don't you?" Aya remarked, pocketing a necklace.

"Of course you do! So we'll simply help ourselves!" Anzu added cheerfully.

I simply ignored them however as I read through the letter that was addressed to me.

"**Dear Mamimi-hime,**

**It is of the highest urgency that you attend our Ouran's Host Club meeting tomorrow afternoon on the grounds that your banning has been revoked and our king is in much better spirits. However, a full explanation will not be given to you unless you attend. And furthermore, shall you still refuse, a bill for the compensation gifts will be mailed to you directly. **

–**Your **_**friend**_**, Kyouya"**

At this, my face must have mirrored the outrage that I felt.

"Ootori! You son of a bitch!"

I screeched, and the very sound of it echoed throughout our tiny home.

"Onee-san…?" The twins questioned although it was quite clear they found this amusing.

"It's not enough that they ban me and break my heart, but _no_. Now they have to blackmail me with ridiculous sums and – why am I even surprised…?"

I rambled in exasperation.

The twins snickered as I scowled.

"Compensation gifts my ass…"

* * *

Deep in the darkness of Ouran's black magic club, reside not only those that love the darkness but those – although they are few in numbers – that love the light.

The latter was particularly the case for our princely third year and resident lunatic, Nekozawa Umehito.

Although it is safe to be said that the only thing he loved about the light was a certain female which resided in it.

Feebly, he sat in a rather ominous looking chair.

His face was illuminated by candle-light alone, and his hands were occupied by Beelzenef and a rather fancy looking letter that had been presented to him by a light-dweller that had dared to brave his lair; A rather stoic light-dweller who failed to utter any sort of speech to the prince rather than a lowly "Hmph."

Quietly, he re-read the letter for the fifth time and promptly gulped afterwards.

"**Nekozawa Umehito,**

**Our King has reclaimed the correct line of thinking and wishes to apologize for the rude way in which he has regarded you on previous encounters. Your presence is requested in The Third Music Room tomorrow afternoon, however, on the grounds that you and our King both possess a fondness for Minamoto Mamimi. During which a very gentleman-like and non-threatening duel for her love will take place. The female in question will of course be present and we shall assume on your honor that you will be there to defend your feelings, and to you might I say "May the better man win" even if we wholeheartedly support and encourage the victory of our King. Thank you for your time, sempai.**

–**Ootori, Kyouya**"

However his most prized companion was filled with anticipation as he rubbed his little cloth paws together with a cackle.

"Kukuku…we will crush the opposition!"

At this however, Nekozawa could only add one thing.

"For Mamimi's sake…"

* * *

**[M O N D A Y]**

"Suoh Tamaki?"

"…"

"Suoh Tamaki?"

"…"

"Suoh-Kun?"

The teacher repeated, getting frustrated at his lack of response.

At this Kyouya stood.

"Sensei, Tamaki will be absent from classes today. I will provide him with the proper notes to catch up with along with his homework, if we have any."

Kyouya informed her vaguely and without question the sensei nodded.

Needless to say, she swooned. An action that was not rare for females to perform around Kyouya and his fellow hosts.

"V-Very good, Ootori-kun." She replied softly before returning to role call.

At this, my interest was piqued as I turned to Kyouya for the first time in a long while.

"Psssst! Ootori! Psssssst!" I whispered in a desperate attempt to catch his attention.

In annoyance, the Shadow King turned to me.

"_What_?" He spat, looking quite threatening when his glasses glared in the light.

"You have some nerve!" I hissed, clenching the edge of my desk so tightly it's a wonder it didn't break into tiny little pieces in my hands.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." He replied coolly, never even bothering to spare me a glance.

"About all those – condolence gifts and the blackmail? You'll really stop at nothing to ruin my life, right?" I accused, narrowing my eyes at him.

"As I told you, I _don't_ know what you're talking about, Mimi-san." He retorted quietly.

"Yeah, sure." I dismissed, adjusting my glasses rather dejectedly.

"Moreover, where _is_ Tamaki?" I inquired, abruptly changing the subject.

"Well—" He retorted, sounding slightly exasperated, but at that exact moment he was interrupted.

"MINAMOTO-CHAN! PAY _ATTENTION_! As a commoner you'll need all the knowledge your cute little brain can soak up to survive." The teacher bellowed, glaring daggers at me.

Although I was offended that the crazy old lady was poking fun at my lineage, I was offended even more so by the fact that she ignored the fact that it was "Ootori-kun " that I was talking to.

"What about Kyouya? He—" I began furiously, pointing an accusatory finger in my companion's direction.

"-IS A VERY WELL BEHAVED STUDENT! But since you're so eager to blame others, you can think of someone else to blame in DETENTION this afternoon." She roared.

I secretly think – it's because I addressed Kyouya so intimately and she's a . . ._ cougar_.

Yikes. -_-

"Are you freaking serious?" I murmured, letting my forehead make painful contact with my desk.

In response the teacher ignored me whilst Kyouya pursed his lips.

"This could prove to be problematic . . ."

And while I wasn't sure what made it problematic for _him_, I had to agree.

And on another note – who knew they even OFFERED detention at a rich kid school?

_Goddamn it._

* * *

When the end of the day rolled around, I'm quite proud to say that contrary to popular belief – the rich man can't keep a commoner down.

And, successfully I had come up with a good thing about detention.

Can you guess what it is?

Here's a multiple choice for you!

Is it:

A) Ample Opportunity to poke fun at the Cougar

B) Detention would further my rep. as a commoner delinquent, thus making the giant bumble bees and rich dicks slightly frightened of me, mwahahah XD

C) A perfect excuse to _miss_ attending The Host Club

Or

D) All of the above, baby.

If you guessed D, you're correct.

But C is definitely the most valuable answer.

As I sat boredly in the Cougar's classroom after school, highly anticipating her arrival, I found myself thankful for the regular "Get out of Blackmail Free Card" that Detention provided me with.

And might I add, whilst I have nothing better to do – or say: _t__ake that_, Ootori Kyouya.

"AHEM!"

Slowly, I spun around to face the fancy classroom door, expecting the rather masculine cough to come from my teacher.

"Sensei . . ." I muttered, twitching slightly at the ginger beast.

"Have you always been so - . . ." I paused, trying to think of the proper term for it.

"Feminine?" I offered.

As Hikaru Hitachiin scowled deeply, I nearly burst into laughter.

"While I loathe your sense of humor . . ." He began, pursing his lips.

"We're still proud to say that – we're busting you _out of here_!" An identical voice chirped that undoubtedly belonged to Kaoru.

"How devious, but I'm not interested." I replied blandly, tearing my gaze away from their heroic forms.

"Maid-san!" Hikaru replied, seeming quite agitated.

"_What_?" I retorted, sounding equally as annoyed as Kyouya had earlier.

"You _have_ to come to the club today!"

He insisted taking quick steps towards me, accompanied by his brother.

"And why is that? So you guys can trick me into manual labor or something of the like?" I retorted, fuming.

Honestly, I'm tired of being treated as a slave. . .

"Well, since you do owe us a vast amount of money, you have no right to complain about things that trivial . . ." Kaoru interjected thus causing me to cringe.

"So technically I'm an indentured servant, huh?" I muttered hopelessly.

It was true, if we were going for politically correct terms and all, y'know.

"However –" Hikaru began, slinging an arm around my shoulders and ignoring my correction.

"That's not why you were requested in the Third Music room today, and if you refuse you'll _definitely_ miss out on something amazing ~" He continued, clearly trying to tempt me.

But, I'm not so easy when it comes to things like that and –

"What sort of amazing thing?"

"You'll just have to come with us and see, Maid-san!" The twins chorused, latching onto me.

"D-Demo, what if I don't _want_ to?"

I replied stubbornly.

In response, they smirked.

"Honey will probably cry again about your absence. He does that a lot lately. Especially since his sweets have been banned – or haven't you heard?" Hikaru stated casually and I felt HORRIBLY guilty at this.

"Who banned his sweets? Poor Honey-kun . . .!" I began, my mouth agape in outrage.

"Milord, of course." The twins replied in unison.

At this, I felt anger bubble in the pit of my stomach.

That jerk has some _nerve._

That beautiful, prince-like, jerk . . .

"Fine . . ."

"YATTA! SUCCESS!"

The twins chirped victoriously, and at that I was already beginning to regret my decision.


	20. Chapter 20: FIGHT!

"Maid-san ~"

The twins began as I twitching just itching to run away from the infamous double doors they stood before.

"You know _what_, Hitachiins?" I began taking a small step back.

"I uh – I've developed an allergy to rose petals and bright lights ~"

I tried, adverting my gaze to the floor as the twins snorted.

"Oh yeah? Then I hope you don't die, Maid-san ~"

Hikaru stated smugly and without further warning, both twins tugged open the double doors.

I flinched preparing for the onslaught of rose petals.

But, when a petal came in contact with my face and I was enveloped by the warm, bright light – I found that a part of me actually had _missed_ such a thing, if that's possible. _

In what was probably intended to be a casual manner, the twins turned to one another.

"Is the target alive, brother?"

"Yes, I think she has survived."

However, once I had caught sight of the inside of the Third Music Room –

I was not so sure. ~

"Is this Heaven?" I blurted out much to Hikaru and Kaoru's amusement.

"You're a silly one, Maid-san." Hikaru murmured, withholding a laugh.

Okay, so maybe I was acting a bit idiotic.

But, I had never seen the room look so – _different_.

Just like in my kitchen, there were roses of the deepest red all around.

There was an odd, out of place platform that wasn't very high off the ground and Tamaki's "throne" was smack dab in the center of it.

The tables and the couches were no where in sight and the grand piano was in full view.

However that's not even the weirdest part. . .

Are you ready for this one?

There were no _customers_ in sight ~

Letting out a low whistle, my eyes landed on Kyouya Ootori.

"Man, that penny pincher must be so _depressed_ . . ."

I muttered, marveling over how much all the altercations must have cost.

* * *

"Oi – why am I sitting up here, again?"

I questioned incredulously from my seat in Tamaki's throne.

Somehow, rather than paranoid I felt almost _unworthy_.

After all, who was I - a lonely pauper - to be sitting in the seat of _royalty_?

"Things will be revealed to you in due time, Mimi-san."

Kyouya stated not bothering to glance up from his laptop.

"Yeah, okay." I snorted, rolling my eyes at his vague response.

"If this gets added on to my debt, I'll—" I warned only to be interrupted.

"Mamimi-hime ~" A voice cooed sending shivers down my spine.

"T-T-Tamaki-kun?" I squeaked out, my cheeks taking on a red tint.

"Yes, my princess?" He called, appearing by my side almost immediately.

"What's going on?" I inquired, quirking a brow at him.

"And, you _know_ I don't like to be called that." I sputtered out, crossing my arms over my chest rather indignantly.

"Forgive me, Mimi ~" Tamaki replied, his tone laced with an unfamiliar warmth.

Pursing my lips, I tried not to flush at his informalities.

Before anything else could be said, the double doors to the Third Music Room swung open yet again.

What I had assumed would probably be the entrance of another club member, turned out to be the appearance of a dark prince.

"N-N-Nekozawa-kun?" I cried out, my eyes nearly doubling in size.

"Mamimi . . ." He whispered, his face overshadowed by the hood of his cloak.

Involuntarily, I twitched.

Why is _he_ being so informal as well . . .? :/

Even though Kyouya and the twins weren't fazed by his entrance, Tamaki surely was.

"**FIEND**!" Tamaki cried, leaping from the platform to stand boldly in front of Nekozawa Umehito.

"Suoh-san . . ." Nekozawa whispered eerily.

It seemed to me, that if this were an Anime or iunno, a _Fanfiction_ of some sort, lightening would be flashing between their intense eyes.

"So you've accepted my challenge, have you?" Tamaki inquired, raising a brow at the infamous president of the Black Magic club.

"Beelzenef and I will fight for Mamimi's sake . . ." Nekozawa murmured as the cat puppet upon his wrist nodded vigorously.

At this sudden turn of events I was massively confused.

**.**_**Hell**_ . . .?

From across the room, the twins chuckled loudly in amusement.

"As will I!" Tamaki agreed to Nekozawa's earlier statement as he took a threatening step towards the blonde third year.

"As the prince of this club – I will defeat you before you ever get the chance to curse me!" Tamaki proclaimed proudly as I blinked.

Wasn't he like – _terrified_ of Nekozawa?

"Kukuku . . . we'll see ~" Nekozawa hissed in his "Beelzeneff" voice.

"Then let it commence – the fight for Mamimi-hime's love ~"

Tamaki stated, smirking.

If I had a drink, this would be the sort of moment in which I spit it out.

Preferably all over Kyouya's_ laptop_ . . . bwahah. xD

* * *

"WHAT THE _HECK _IS GOING ON?" I roared, staring blankly at the two blonde Ouran males that stood threateningly upon the platform with me.

My complaints fell on deaf ears, however, due to the sudden cheering that occurred.

"GANBATTE, TAMA-CHAN !" Honey bellowed and I turned to catch sight of the rest of the Host Club, standing below us.

"W-When did they get here?" I murmured, but yet again no one heard me.

As the "fight" began, Tamaki sprung forward making some sort of battle cry that amounted to "Tama-chan _kick_!" just as Nekozawa tossed some sort of powder at the Prince Type.

"Uhm . . ." I murmured unsurely.

Nekozawa went flying off the platform as Tamaki began panicking about whatever it was that Nekozawa had thrown at him.

"IS IT _POISON_ POWDER? YOU MONSTER! WHAT A TREACHEROUS TRICK!"

He bellowed melodramatically although he seemed perfectly fine.

As Nekozawa landed in the floor dejectedly, the twins sported blank expressions.

"_That_ was fairly uneventful . . ." They complained, pulling flashlights out of nowhere and shining them at Nekozawa who, of course, screamed.

"THE LIGHT! YOU MURDERS! HOW _DARE_ YOU!"

Nekozawa exclaimed, trying desperately to shield himself with his cloak.

I felt bad for the poor guy as I rose from my seat.

"You guys, this is **stupid**." I stated finally, earning a loud "TOLD YOU SO!" that was undoubtedly from Haruhi.

The twins spun around to face me, seeming quite annoyed.

"We're just having a bit of fun . . ." Hikaru reasoned, switching his flashlight off.

"W-What _is_ this?" Tamaki called, his voice trembling as he took a step towards me.

"Even after all of this – you'd still take the hand of the _devil_ over me?" He inquired and although he was spouting foolishness, for some reason he seemed oddly melancholy.

I wasn't sure how to reply to that exactly.

"Uhm – while I don't know what everyone's deal is lately, I still think picking on Nekozawa is terrible. Is that really the only reason you invited me back to this stupid club, so you could poke fun at my _friendship_ with Nekozawa?"

I accused, narrowing my eyes at Tamaki.

As I said this, Nekozawa cried out in pain as if some imaginary arrow had popped his small bubble of hope.

Tamaki only gulped, reaching a hand out to me.

In outrage, I ignored him and simply continued on with my rant.

"If that's the case, Tamaki Suoh, you're acting like a terrible "_father_" ! And what's more, what gives you the right to ban Honey-kun's sweets, you jerk? What did the poor boy ever do to you? And furthermore, what gives you the audacity to let that goddamn shadow king blackmail me and ruin my life? Geez, sometimes I swear getting banned from this club is _best_ thing that's ever happened to me—" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up into the air.

Before I could think of any other scathing remark, Tamaki gulped.

"M-Ma-Mamimi . . ." He began carefully, his voice trembling.

It was pathetically cute.

Now, don't get me wrong. . .

I'm still quite pissed at him, but - when he looks like a child who's puppy has just been kicked. . .well, can you really blame me for inwardly deciding to hear him out?

* * *

**[T A M A - C H A N T I M E]**

The Prince Type hesitated a moment, thinking back to his conversation with Kyouya.

"_Tamaki, it's easy to see. Honey was just the first to get it through that thick skull of your's. . ._"

"_Tamaki, I don't even need to ask any more questions to determine what we've all already known. . ."_

"_You don't love her like a __**father**__ should, Tamaki. I'll leave the rest up to you."_

Although at this moment in time the Host Club President was lacking more courage than ever, he perservered.

Clenching his eyes shut and thoroughly awaiting whatever misfortune was sure to befall him after his confession, Tamaki parted his lips to speak.

"I don't want to be your _father_ – I want to be your **prince**."

* * *

_**Thud!**_

I know, I _know_. . .

You're all probably expecting me, being the stereotypical main character, to have passed out at such an outlandish piece of information.

But, for once in my life - this was _not _the case at all.

Nor was it the sound of me punching Tamaki into the wall for lying to me in such a way. . .because you all know very well that I don't have that kind of strength.

On the contrary, the loud onomatopoeia of sorts could only be a result of the arrival of the bumble bees.

And let me tell ya, at such a crucial moment in my life. . .

I should have expected that Kyouya Ootori would invite the _freakin'_ customers.


	21. Chapter 21: Worth It

"MOE!"

"Just what is going on here?"

"MOE! MOE! MOE! MOE! ~"

"Duck for cover with me, Nekozawa-kun! Hurry-"

Just as I reached out for the Black Magic man, it was most unfortunate for him that the fangirls broke free of the human barrier that Honey and Mori tried to make.

"Ahhh! It's almost as bad. . .as the _light_. ~"

And that, my friends, is how Nekozawa Umehito was trampled by bumble bees.

Now, let me just take this moment in time to tell you that the Discovery Channel and that little special called _When Bees Attack!_ did nothing to prepare me for this, not at all.

But then again, despite my numerous amounts of research, I was not prepared for a lot of things.

Sure, I read a lot of Shoujo Manga. . .but even that couldn't help me out with this.

_"I don't want to be your father - I want to be your __**prince**__."_

The words echoed like a broken record in my mind.

Or, at least I thought it was all only in my mind.

"I don't want to be your father - I want to be your prince."

"I don't want to be your father - I want to be your prince."

"I don't want to be your father - I want to be your prince."

"I don't want to be your_ father_ -"

"GODDAMN IT, HITACHIINS!" I fumed.

Of course.

Leave it to the troublesome duo to literally repeat such an embarrassing statement aloud, if only to see my squirm.

"Awh, Maid-san. But what Milord said was so cute. . ." Hikaru began as he, along with his brother, reclined back against the fallen form of Nekozawa as if he were some sort of fluffy throw-rug.

"It even gave Honey-Sempai a cavity ~" Kaoru finished, chuckling at me rather mockingly.

It was just my luck that I was not the only one to seek refuge beneath a tea table, eager not to meet the same fate as Nekozawa did.

At the same time, though, it was rather unfortunate that the less annoying members of the Host Club had not been as clever as I in this live or die situation.

Haruhi, Tamaki, Honey, and Mori were all being bombarded by ravenous fangirl questions from the customers.

And Kyouya? Well, his high and mighty Shadow King self could be found sitting quaintly upon a couch, unharmed and unbothered.

That _bastard_. ~

"Nice try, but I know that Honey-kun doesn't - wait, is that why Tamaki banned his sweets?" I sputtered out in realization. Honestly, if that was the case, then. . .

"Indeed," The twins chorused, turning to smirk at me.

"It seems that Maid-san has undoubtedly misjudged the reason behind her lover's actions, brother." Hikaru pointed out, slinging an arm around his sibling's shoulders.

"L-Lover. . .?" I choked out, eyes widening to be equivalent to the size of our lavish tea cups.

"That's what Tamaki intends to be to you, isn't it?" Kaoru ventured, gazing pointedly at me.

"Or are you just too stupid to comprehend that?" Hikaru added, scoffing for effect.

"I'm not - I just - He just - " I began, fumbling for the right words.

On the contrary, though. I actually had no idea that this was what Tamaki meant.

After all, he wanted to be every girl's prince. . .so why-?

"I DEMAND TO KNOW THE MEANING BEHIND THIS STUPID FLIER!"

Suddenly, the room silenced. However, it was simply because the hoard of fanbees had decided to listen to the inquiries of what appeared to be their fearless leader.

"It says, "**Come to the Host Club in order to see Nekozawa and Suoh battle it out for the love of our regal maid!**" The same boisterous female continued.

"Yet, I find this unacceptable. I mean, how could anyone love a presumptuous _commoner_? Let alone our very own prince? It was perfectly fine when you tried to portray this sort of forbidden love to us in the form of a cheesy made movie, however the real thing is something I simply will not stand for!" The female roared, crossing her arms over her chest in quite the pissy manner.

"Ouch." I murmured, feeling as though some sort of lightening bolt had surged through my system.

"Fliers. . .? Kyouya, what's the meaning of this?" Tamaki cried out, speaking for the very first time since his confession as he turned to spare Kyouya Ootori a questioning glance.

As everyone else followed his example and turned to catch a glimpse of Kyouya, it was rather remarkable to note that he didn't seem at all frazzled under the pressure.

"I. . ." Kyouya began, his glasses shining in the light.

"Yes. . .?" The head fangirl probed, narrowing her eyes at the Ootori.

"I had nothing to do with this." Kyouya reasoned and at that, I'm pretty sure everyone's head hit the ground.

". . .**WHATTTTT**?" I screeched, shoulders straightening so quickly that I nearly forgot I was hidden beneath a table.

"It's true," Kyouya began, shooting the table I was under a withering glance.

"I had no intentions of making this very private matter public to the customers, or at least not without a price. . ." He continued on, his grip on his clipboard distinctly tightening.

"So then. . .who?" Tamaki queried, his eyes widening the slightest bit.

**.**

Oooh, _Suspenseful_. . . -_-U

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

"OHOHOHOHOHOHO~!"

The annoying bout of laughter was quickly followed by the creaks of a motorized platform.

"Not her. . .Not _now_. . ." The twins seethed, narrowing their eyes at the gradually rising form of Houshakuji Renge.

"Renge-chan. . .what are you doing?" I questioned tentatively, crawling out from under the table.

"It was I that arranged everything, Mimi-chan~! Ohoh XD!" Renge informed, turning to beam at me.

Before I had the tiniest bit of a chance to choke out a reply, she pressed onwards.

"And this is simply because the forbidden love _of princes and paupers_. . .it's something as a lady I simply cannot overlook!" Renge proclaimed, her eyes morphing into awestruck chibi stars.

**[A/N: Ohoh~ Did you see what I did there? Did you? THE TITLE IN THE DIALOGUE! Mwahah!]**

At her statement, several of the rampant fangirls began to be swayed, charmed even by the very idea.

"Forbidden love between the maid and a prince. . ."

"It's like - It's like a fairytale come true~!"

"A Shoujo Manga, even!"

"MOE~!"

To be honest, moe has recently become my least favorite word. . .even if it might save my life from being strangled to death by a horde of jealous females.

Seriously, if they killed me they wouldn't even have to struggle about covering it up.

Their money would take care of that, and furthermore, they'd probably stash my corpse beneath one of those gigantic yellow dresses. Tch. .

"Everyone, no! What are you doing? Don't fall for such a pathetic marketing tactic! We cannot allow boys of our own social circle to sink to that level!" GlareGlare.

Despite her fervent pleas, the fangirls payed her no heed.

"I certainly wouldn't mind to witness such a taboo relationship! It's almost like brotherly love, but. . ." One girl in particular began to murmur as her eyes glazed over dazedly.

At the words "almost like brotherly love" I couldn't help but notice how the twins allowed their jaws to drop. Obviously, they were intimidated by the fact that my currently non-official relationship with Tamaki could outshine their twincest.

"It's like. . .CINDERELLA~!" Another girl decreed, grinning from ear to ear.

It took me a moment to get over the fact that these rich brats were even aware of such awesome princess-tales in the first place.

"Ah ~ Cinderella Complex, eh? So it seems an act just as similar to the twins could prove to be beneficial in its own unique right. . ."

At the murmured calculation, I resisted the urge to grimace at Kyouya.

"Kyouya. . ." I growled at about the same time as Tamaki spouted, "MOMMY? D:"

"So it seems it wasn't a bad idea at all to inform Renge of the developing bond between Tamaki and the maid. . .very well then," Kyouya began, rising from his seat.

"Renge, that is all we require from you today. Furthermore, precious customers, if you will, please disperse from the area and everyone will receive discounts on their designations tomorrow."

Although it was out of character for Kyouya to ever utter the word "discounts", I focused more on sentences he had previously vocalized.

". . .Had nothing to do with this my _ass_!"

"Wah~! Mimi-chan said a bad word!"

"Mitsukuni, don't talk too much. . .your teeth."

"Sorry, Takashi!"

"Mommy's been using me for his financial benefits again!"

"Yeah, well, mommy's a penny-pincher!"

"My daughter's so fiesty lately. . .~"

"Baha ~ We bet that you wish Mimi-chan was more like that, huh MiLord?"

"PERVERTED TWINS~!"

"Geez, Tono. We didn't mean it like that. . .~"

". . ."

* * *

Once each and every fangirl had retreated, some more reluctantly than others, all that remained within the third music room were the nine of us - host club members and passed out Nekozawa included.

"So. . .uh, today sure was weird, huh?" I offered, nervously nudging Tamaki's side with my elbow in attempts to seem nonchalant.

". . ._*sigh*_" Tamaki spared me a melancholy glance.

". . .What's the matter, Tamaki-kun?" I inquired, suddenly becoming quite worried.

"Was my confession weird, Mimi-hime? Because you never answered me. . ." Tamaki reasoned suddenly, his amethyst orbs lacking a certain sparkle.

"Answered. . .? But - But you never asked me anything!" I squeaked, heat rising to my cheeks.

Before Tamaki could explain, the twins beat him to it.

"_PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS_T! Ask her out, MiLord!"

"Yeah! Don't be a cowardly lion as opposed to a brave prince!"

Tamaki paused in his fumbled half of the conversation in order to glare daggers at them.

"Unscrupulous devils! The love between my daughter and I will never concern the two of you-" Tamaki began, dramatically flicking a few strands of blonde hair out of his eyes.

". . .Daughter? But I thought you didn't want to be my dad anymore?" I countered, taken aback by his sudden use of the word.

"A-Ah, that is to say. . ." Tamaki began nervously, his cheeks changing in color to resemble the hue of his favorite flower.

". . ._yeah_?" I probed, encouraging him to go on.

"I'm just so used to calling you that, Mamimi, it's a bit difficult for me to break an old habit. . .but fear not! With royal resolve I will refrain from ever calling you such a thing again. . ." He trailed off, pausing to gulp awkwardly.

"_SAY IT_!" It was surprising to realize that this exclamation was a result of the combined effort of all of our fellow clubmates.

"So, would you do me the honor of being my princess?" Tamaki finished hurriedly, his voice cracking rather adorably at the end of his sentence.

I'm never one to think things through before I do them, and so you can understand the stupidity of my next response, right? I meant well, I just phrased it a little weirdly. . .

"_No_."

At this, I'm sure everyone was inwardly screaming: "WTF?"

Before Tamaki could do the same, or even worse, flee to his emo corner, I continued.

"I don't want to be your princess, you narcissistic idiot, but I'd **love** to be your girlfriend."

It was the awkwardest moment of my entire freakin' life, not to mention the most embarrassing. . .but the moment that dazzling smile lit up Tamaki Suoh's face? Well, I kind of decided that all the humiliation was inevitably worth it.


	22. Chapter 22: I can do this!

"I. . .I can do this!"

"Ganbatte, Mimi-nee-san!"

"Yosh! I'll definitely persevere!"

"You're so cool, 'Nee-san~"

"Un."

"Yatta!"

"Okay, any minute now I'll achieve my goal!"

". . ."

"Yeah, any minute now. . ." _

"MAMIMI MINAMOTO! I SWEAR TO KAMI-SAMA IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTT OUT THAT DOOR AND HEADED TOWARDS SCHOOL RIGHT THIS INSTANT THAT I'LL-!"

. . ._Shit_.

"Ah, iie Obaa-chan! I was definitely on my way!"

With a nervous wave of my hands, I was out of the house before she could even finish her awful threat.

"Saa, enlisting the help of our precious grandmother was definitely a successful tactic."

"You're right, Aya, I agree wholeheartedly!"

I allowed my head to slowly swivle towards their general direction.

"That was your fault?" I ground out through gritted teeth.

In response, my diabolical twin sisters merely grinned.

"Well, of course, Mimi-nee." Aya stated, thoroughly shrugging off my bloodthirsty aura.

"_You two_-" I hissed, quite prepared to launch into an offensive ramble at their expense.

"Yikes, take it easy! It's a desperately needed measure we had to resort to!" Anzu piped up in attempts to reassure me that getting my grandmother involved was a necessary evil.

Outrage bubbled in the pit of my stomach as I parted my lips in preparation to inquire exactly why that was, however before I could actually attempt to speak realization dawned upon me.

Furthermore, despite the fact that this had all only taken place a few moments ago, my brain saw fit to orchestrate a nifty little flashback of sorts.

* * *

"Mimi-nee-san, you're blocking our exit!"

"-_Grumble_-I can do this-_Mumble_-"

"I think the obstruction in question is lost to us, sister."

"I think you're right, Anzu! After all, it's a sad day for someone's sanity when they're forced to have a fierce inner battle with themselves over whether or not they're capable of exiting a building."

"Mou, how will the customers reach us if Nee-san's in such a state?"

"They won't! Therefore, encouragement may be required in order to get her to move."

"Perhaps you're right, Aya~"

". . ."

"This shouldn't be so difficult, after all it's not like anything has really changed. . ."

"Hm, Nee-san sure is spouting some interesting things. . ."

"Indeed, but nevertheless - GO NEE-SAN !"

"Ah. . .Tamaki."

"You can do this, Nee-sama!"

"I. . ."

"You can step outside, we're sure of it!"

"Ootori will definitely have my ass if I'm late. . ."

"Eh?" "Nani?"

"It was probably a dream, anyway. This should be fine. . ."

"Aya, she mentioned that person again. . ."

"Indeed, Anzu, the same guy that filled our house with treasures~!"

The twins glanced at each other before unanimously deciding, "Because this correlates with that, we'll undoubtedly have to investigate!"

". . .I can do this. . ."

"But first," Aya murmured as her eyes narrowed in my general direction.

"We'll have to take care of this particular problem."

* * *

Looking back at that, I'm sure I must have seemed like a crazy person.

After all, it's not like Aya and Anzu knew anything about my current predicament.

Actually, thank Kami-sama that they don't.

If they knew that I had a boyfriend, well, my life would become a living Hell.

The same kind of hell it will become now that everyone at school presumably knows.

And honestly, what am I supposed to do now?

If this isn't a dream, then it's my first real relationship.

If that's not the worst part, the fact that I'm romantically intertwined with the casonova king certainly is.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm definitely happy that Tamaki's "mine" so to speak.

I just, I don't know if I can do this.

Moreover, I'm not entirely sure that I can handle being bombarded with attention when I get to school all because of the boy I'm in a relationship with. . .but if one thing is for sure, it's that I definitely need to get headed to that dreaded pink building.

Otherwise, Ootori would probably ban me from quality club time with Tamaki-kun.

Wait, did I just say quality club time? Yuck-

"Nee-san, are you involved with the Yakuza?"

". . .What?" I sputtered, giving my little twin sisters a wide-eyed expression.

"Are you?" Aya probed stubbornly.

"Where did that question come from?" I inquired in disbelief.

After all, the last time someone had deemed me to be affiliated with the Japanese Mafia, it was when the Host Club trespassed upon the privacy of Haru's apartment complex.

"Oh, the limousine meandering down the street is definitely a treat for my commoner eyes to behold." Anzu noted, eyes glazing over with greedy delight.

"That's peculiar, _wait_, limo?" I squawked.

It didn't take long to make out through the mildly tinted glance the faint image of one of the Suoh family's personal servants seated comfortably in the driver seat.

Rather than telling you why I can so easily recognize the faces of Tamaki's hired help, I'm instead going to make honorable mention of how I shoved my little sisters into the ground.

Or, at least into the cluster of bushes cluttering up the area directly beside of my front door.

"Stay. **Down**." I barked, glaring heatedly at what lay beneath the bushes.

"But Mimi-nee-san, how could you do this?" Aya whined, pausing to spit out a mouthful of leaves.

"Itai, it hurttttts!" Anzu blubbered rather boisterously.

Rather than feeling sorry for their childish complaints, I snorted.

"It's going to hurt even worse if the people in the limousine notice you!" I assured them.

"Because they're the mafia members that you're involved with?" Aya offered.

"Iie, because I'm going to hurt you if that happens." I promised, trying my best to appear threatening.

". . . . . . .BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Apparently my violent remark only served to amuse my sisters.

"You, hurt us? Oh _no_.~" Aya cried out mockingly.

I would have offered to inflict legitimate bodily harm upon them once more if at that moment, the limousine had not slowed to a stop directly in front of my house.

"Fine, have it your way. If you get noticed, I'm going to tell Ojii-san exactly what happened to his precious sake collection." I warned.

The moment the insistent laughter of my sisters melted into a deadly silence, I knew I had won here.

"Hmph." I smirked just as the driver's side door of the limousine swung open.

"Master Tamaki had business to deal with this morning and thus is unable to accompany you to school, however he has requested that I provide you with transportation in his wake." The limousine driver stated formerly, coming around the side of the limo in order to open up a door for me.

"S-Saa, that's okay! There's no need to waste gas on me, sir!" I squeaked, heat overwhelming my cheeks.

Although I was flattered by Tamaki's thoughtfulness, I was still inwardly skeptical.

_'Even if he was here, it's not like he'd personally be able to drive me, that idiot. . .'_

"It's no trouble at all, on the contrary, it is my pleasure, madame." The driver assured me with a plastic smile.

"But. . ." I began, slightly slack-jawed.

"Madame, it was Master Tamaki's direct request that the woman of his sincerest affections be able to arrive at school in the comfortable, eloquent fashion that she deserves." The driver insisted as his gaze shifted between the door and myself.

"Uhh," I began, cringing. "I suppose one ride wouldn't hurt?"

I thought it would be a harmless experience.

But, I never factored in the determination of my sisters to ride in a "Yakuza" car.

"! TAKE US WITH YOU!"

". . .Damn it, brats!"

* * *

"It's **her**."

And so it began the very moment the soles of my shoes made contact with the grounds of Ouran.

"Hmph, she must think she's some sort of poverty stricken princess now."

"Much too vile for our Tamaki-sama."

"A-Ah, Driver-san. . ." I murmured, turning slowly to face the wrinkled old Suoh family servant.

"Farewell and have a wonderful day, Madame." He stated warmly.

Without a moment's hesitation the limousine then soared off down the road, hardly leaving a puff of smoke in its wake.

Utterly flabbergasted, my gaze fluttered between the direction my only means of escape had gone and the snobby students of Ouran Academy that seemed to be even more hostile towards me than usual.

". . .Commoner freak."

"NOOOOOO! Take me with you! I really want to live to see another day. . ."

It didn't take long for my pathetic plead to fade into a dull whimper.

Sinking to my knees, I completely ignored the possibility of tarnishing my pristine uniform as well as the fact that my cries had sounded about as pathetic as my sisters' had earlier.

Thank Kami-sama that horrible trip was over with and the both of them were now trapped at the middle schoolers' designated section of the academy.

A-ano, sorry, minna-san.

You might be a bit confused, so let me explain something for you.

My little sisters are persistent little monsters and thus somehow easily capable of convincing naive old men into letting them ride in posh limousines.

And I hate them - . . .sometimes.

Anyways, aside from that nonsense, I'm really not thrilled about the reaction of the female portion of the student body - if I didn't already make that perfectly clear.

They're going to eat me alive, sting me to death, and ruin my pathetic little "commoner" life.

"_Awesome_."

"What is, Mimi-chan~?"

"KYAA!" I shrilly screamed due to the sudden sound of someone addressing me when I was in my most vulnerable state.

Had it been any other members of the Host club, I probably would have been thoroughly annoyed.

However, since it was Honey. . .well, I managed.

"Honey, sorry, did I say something aloud?" I inquired, glancing at the adorable senior with a wide eyed expression.

In response, the blonde boy merely smiled whilst clutching the ever infamous Usa-chan closer to his chest.

My eyes drank in his fun-sized figure before trailing over the empty space in which a stoic and allegedly Wild-Type host would be towering protectively over Mitsukuni Haninozuka.

"Mori-sempai isn't with you?" I pointed out, cocking a brow at the tiny teen.

"Tama-chan isn't with _you_?" Honey interjected.

Despite the cute tone to his voice, I couldn't help but feel like something was ultimately wrong with that question.

It was almost sounded, well, bitter.

But that must just be my imagination, right?

"O-Oh," I began, visibly taken aback.

"You're quite clever, Honey!" I complimented, nervously refusing to meet his gaze.

I could only assume that the Loli-Shota faked a darling little smile.

"Moreover, you also seem to be in a much better mood." - I hope.

At my observation, Honey giggled.

"Mmmmhm! Tama-chan gave me my sweets back once my cavity was filled~" Honey explained.

As if to emphasize the revival of his sugar-coated diet, Honey plopped a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

"Oh really, well I don't recall witnessing that." I noted, feeling as though I had missed something.

"That's understandable, after all, why would you after **that** took place?" Honey inquired.

This time it definitely wasn't my imagination that his voice had, at least temporarily, lost it's childlike tone.

"Honey. . ." I murmured, pursing my lips.

"What _exactly_ is that supposed to mean?" I ventured tentatively.

"You should know, Mimi-chan, after all, _you_'re the one that's the brainy scholarship student, ne~?"

His statement was innocent enough, especially when accompanied with soft guffaw of laughter.

However, something was still wrong.

Whilst Honey skipped off in the direction of his first period without so much as another single word of wisdom, I couldn't help but gape.

In times of trouble and of immense joy, one fact never fails:

Hosts are fucking weird -

_Especially_ the cute ones.


End file.
